2bhappy0212

Despite what you might think Society has not progressed to a point were women are viewed in the same light as men. My point is until true equality is reached then women will not take on the male role in dating because of the stigma. I believe women take a lot of RISK in dating. Women physically are not dominate so we put alot a trust in men not to take advantage of this physical disadvantage. . (LOL I kinda sound like Jesse Jackson). I am a single women and I live alone so I think every time I give out my phone number, have a man visit my home, or am basically alone with him I am taking a risk. My ego is not taking a hit but at any point this man can take advantage of me physically. As women we do not but are ego on the line but we definitely but our safety on the line when dating. I am not saying that every man is crazy, personally I have never meet any crazy ones but there is always that possibility.

Who labels men desperate for asking women out? There is nothing wrong with men asking women out that was the point I was trying to make. Maybe I am dense but I have never labeled a guy desperate for asking me out but I have had guys friends that have been suspicious when a girl approaches. Typically they label them easy or gold diggers. My girlfriends also look down on girls that are too forward, they label them as being desperate. So in my experience society's reaction to women asking out men and has rarely been a positive response. I am not asking you to agree with me I just think it is unrealistic to wait for women to change becasue it is not going to happen today or tomorrow it is going to take time. I agree it is not fair that men have to always make the first move but that simply is how it is so get over it. I am sorry to break it to you but society is not as progressive as you might think we just got rid of segregated schools 50 years ago,women still do not receive equal pay in the workplace, laws prohibiting homosexual activities still exist, we have enough real issues to address in racial, ethnic, religious and gender equality that equality in dating is not a top priority. Once we finish addressing real issues of equality we can then turn to dating equality until then you need to get out there, mingle, be friendly and ask the girl out.

What the heck is so intimidating about a short black women? I can not imagine what about me would make a grown man nervous but I have been told by men and women that I am intimidating. I still do not believe it because thugs, bums, drug addicts and old men have no problem approaching me. This seems like a lie people tell themeselves to make them feel better or a nice way to tell someone they are mean. I want to ask my friends for advice but the are all to busy with their relationships to worry about me. I do not understand what is wrong with me. I need the truth I can handle it ARE MEN REALLY INTIMITATED BY WOMEN? To make matters worse I have noticed recently I just do not care if a guy likes me. I used to get nervos now I am like lets get this over with so you can not call me. People are always telling me to take risk and I do but I am never awarded for my efforts. I feel like it doesn't matter anymore what I say, they do not care. This is a recent occurrence I used to be real talkative. I would go out of my way to be nice but now I just do not care. Even with guys I like I no longer aim to impress, I just nod and grin. They ask the same questions and I give the same answers, you talk on the phone, you go on a date, you worry if he is interested and then you end up in the same position you started in ALONE. After 24 years of searching I have never had a real boyfriend and I am done, I am just tired of the whole dating thing. I do not want to do it anymore it is too exhausting. I thought I would never get to this point but I GIVE UP. Does anyone else feel like giving up?

This may be irrelevant but I have a theory why its better to be married then single in law school/medical school. I am in a single women in law school and I wish I was married because all the married people seem happier. It seems since they have a family they are more relaxed because they know that there are more important things in life then school. When your single, school is all you have so you place a great deal of importance on that aspect of your life and slowly drive yourself crazy. Marriage may benefit a person about to enter medical school or law school because confidence comes from knowing that you have a committed partner at home that loves and supports you despite your class standing. On a more relevant note: Maybe you should take into account your financial situation and the type of wedding you desire. Weddings are costly and time consuming she will have neither time nor money during medical school so you might want to wait if she wants a huge wedding or if you want to be married GO FOR IT (nothings wrong with a small wedding).

DBL I think you are right why am I worried about this idiot. I am moving on!!!! I do not think I have shown him any signs that I like him so actually saying "I will date you if you stop acting like a fool" will probably make the situation worse since then he will have proof i like him instead of is just being arrogant and assuming I do. Now the question becomes how do I get him to be normal towards me and stop embarrassing me? Should I just say I noticed you have been acting kinda strange....STOP or should I ignore or avoid any contact or communication. I feel like I am in high school.

THANK YOU. I knew something was odd. All my friends are telling me he likes you but I'm like this guy is acting like a FREAK. To make it weirder he is 26 very educated, outgoing, and confident so I doubt I make him nervous so that whole he is intimated or shy thing does not seem to apply. I think if a guy likes you he would try to be NORMAL. This is not the first time he has done this I volunteered to work 2 activity tables last month at my school and he came up to the table messing with me. I worked a voter registration table and he cant vote (he is Nigerian but was raised in U.S) but he showed up acting goofy. Then worked on a Race for a Cure table he showed up again with no intentions of participating. How do I get him to treat me like a NORMAL PERSON because I am too old for these games? *In his defense this is a black guy in our culture it is custom to fix a guy's plate but thats if your married or in a relationship.

This guy plays too much so I am not sure if he is being funny or he is actually into me. At school we had a meeting for a organization we both belong to and he walks in and smiles then says "I am going to sit by you". Then he proceeds to act WEIRD. I notice he has a book from a class I took last semester and I asked him who was teaching it this semester and he states trying to be sexy, "You". I ask again and he states "You" then he laughs and gets all griny. He refused to answer the question and just said YOU a million times. I laugh but at this point I am uncomfortable because that was kinda weird and we are at a group meeting. At the meeting there was food so I get up to make a plate and he ask if I will make him a plate. After I laugh and shake my head he gets up to make his own. Then he starts joking about how I never do anything nice for him and if I had asked him to make my plate he would have. It seems obvious that from the conversation that he may be interested but the problem is we have known of each other for over a year and we have never hung out outside of school, he has never asked for a phone number, email address, date, NOTHING so I assume he is not interested just playing around. What do you guys think? I would like to get to know him but I do not want to look like a idiot if he is simply goofing off.