Should I bother?

[Sirenia]

OK so Mr you-decide-the-venue and I met for our first date... after which, he didn't do anything and 3 days later I wrote him an email. I did not thank him for the date nor allude to the fact I wanted to see him again. I just wanted to see what he would do next and he wrote back and suggested we meet up on this day or this day. I said I was not free on either day (and yes it was very coincidental that it just so happened I had 2 very important things both those nights) and so finally we compromised and chose another night.

 

Then, with only a few hours to go he cancelled on me saying he couldn't make it. I was a bit pissed because it was his idea to meet up but also he hadn't even (again) decided on a spot and now he wanted to cancel. So I was so annoyed I didn't even bother to reply even though he seemed to have a legit and honest reason.

 

I admit that after the first date I felt a real connection and was hoping for more but given his lacklustre response so far... and anyway, after me ignoring him he contacts me again after a week and wants to make plans to see me again.

 

Should I even bother? My attraction dwindled down to almost nothing because I prefer that a guy actually makes some effort and it seems like I had to do all the work - choose the location, contact him after the first date, etc etc... plus due to his job and location I'm not really that 'into' it.. it would be a semi long distance relationship and due to his job and both our lifestyles I don't even know how often we could/would see each other...

 

It almost feels like nothing's worked out with another girl/s and he's just using me as a backup. It might not be true but that's how it feels at the moment.

[Mavh25]

Sounds a bit messy before its even begun.

I'd say yes to meeting him this other time, but do not make any suggestions about where to go or anything, see what happens, this should be his last chance but don't let him know that

But that's just me, if you're gonna get attached I'd cut it off now.

[camus154]

Sounds a bit messy before its even begun.

 

Yeah, I think you should just let it go. Why bother when it's this hard to start and you're convinced it wouldn't go much further anyway?

[nutbrownhare]

If you don't have any definite plans, then don't pursue another meet. If there are problems with distance/lifestyle, then it would take a lot of commitment on both sides, and it doesn't seem that's there.

 

Cut your losses and move on!

[Sirenia]

Should I just ignore, or write back and explain why?

[missberlee]

I think you should give him another chance especially since you did feel a connection . If this time he's going to bail on you again then definitely just move on. Had I not given my guy a second date, I would never find out what possibility was out there for me. And I was swearing to anything that I would never date this guy because he was too arrogant for my taste. Turns out he has been treating me nothing but respect.