Unstable boyfriend

[Lilliene]

My boyfriend of over two years has a constant habit of punishing me by doing a dissapearing act after a disagreement. I ve been the one most of the times to call him back. At times he wants me to beg him to return. At times he ignores my calls and texts completely even though he knows it hurts me. He just wants a relarionship without commitment although initially he promised it. Whenever im around him i cry bcoz of his unstable hurtful behaviour. Initially he was the one chasing me into the relationship. Now he wants me to chase. My self-esteem does not allow it, btw he s missing again and i have not contacted him yet. Pl advise

[SpottiOtti]

Don't chase.

 

And ask yourself why you kept chasing for two years. What did his ignoring stir inside of you?

[DN]

Don't call him after a disagreement.

[JimBean]

He's insecure and your chasing makes him feel better for a while. He's afraid to admit being wrong, and probably feels bad for ignoring your calls/texts, but does so to pump up his ego / security. Just speaking from experience as that's how I used to behave.

 

Yes, agreed with above posters. Don't chase. He'll come crawling back.

[BlueEagle]

While it sounds like there are some major communication problems going on here, and that is not uncommon in relationships, a bigger issue is he that he seems to want you when he wants you and not when you want him. That's not very fair to you and not how successful relationships work. If he doesn't want a commitment with you and he's not there for you when you need him, then does he really sound like a good partner to be with? Think about it.

[duke nukem]

He sounds immature and this relationship certainly doesn't appear to be very good for either of you.

[CeeLambrini]

Don't call, don't text. If he has "disappeared" because he wants you to chase him, you're going to show him that it won't work anymore. If he did it because he genuinely wants to disappear, then his loss. Either way, you are enabling it by doing exactly what he expects you to do.

 

It will make things better, but to be honest I think you should take this time to figure out if this is the sort of guy you want to be with. His disappearing act may just blow up in his face this time.

[Abigaelle]

Yeah like you have been told. You have to teach him the new rules hun.

Dont contact him

[Lilliene]

Could nt agree more. Btw he s suffers from an inferiority complex also

[Lilliene]

just need to learn to live alone

[DN]

Could nt agree more. Btw he s suffers from an inferiority complex also

Maybe that is because he's inferior.