I have to contact my ex...

[leftme]

I have to ask my ex to sign a document... and then send it to me so that I can sign it.

 

She possesses the document because she took the paperwork when she left me.

 

This document is required by the end of the month by my Landlord as notice to end the contract we both signed.

 

I haven't contacted or spoke to my ex in months and I don't want to really. I was proud of myself for moving on so well. She has a new boyfriend (i'm fine with that) she's moved on (i'm fine with that) but now I find after basically 3 months of no contact I find it impossible to contact her rather than how I originally felt trying to stop myself!

 

I don't have the time to trust snail mail. She doesn't check her emails. I could text her parents (but that seems childish). I really must text her but I really don't want any contact with her.

 

I'm just venting. But any support would be welcome!

[rebellefleur]

Is there any way to get a third party to do it for you? Maybe a mutual friend or a good friend of yours that she knew? Maybe it seems childish to you, but it's your healing that's at stake.

[leftme]

Is there any way to get a third party to do it for you? Maybe a mutual friend or a good friend of yours that she knew? Maybe it seems childish to you, but it's your healing that's at stake.

 

I could only contact;

- her.

- her best friend (who dislikes me and always has & loves drama).

- her dad (who i see from time to time) & mum (who loves me to bits but wouldn't want to involve).

- a close friend of hers (who i get on with but wouldn't want to involve).

[RedDress]

No, unless the break-up was particularly messy or dramatic, I think you should text her yourself. Whenever people enter a legal agreement with each other (whether through marriage or living together or... whatever), there are consequences to that - namely, that you have to tie up loose ends when it's over.

 

I would text her, but just keep it cordial and all business.

 

An example of this kind of text might look like:

 

"Hey! I am trying to end the lease with the landlord, and he said that he needs a particular document signed by both of us. I have looked around and can't find it, which leads me to believe you might have it? Can you please sign paper X and send it to me? I need to present it to the landlord before the end of the month. Thanks!"

 

That's all you need to say. Don't accuse her of having the documents (even if you know she does) - it's just presenting an opportunity for an argument. If she asks how you are doing, just say "Fine... but I really need that document". Always bring the conversation back to the task at hand and try not to engage in a conversation with her, if possible.

 

You don't have to be mean or short or rude - but you don't have to go out of your way to be friendly either. Just get 'er done. Yanno?

 

You can't heal anyways until the legalities are out of the way... so just do it. The sooner you do it, the sooner it will be over and you can move on. I think you should text her now.

[PrettyGood]

What about your friend gives it to her and brings it back?

[leftme]

I think you've nailed it on the head. I'll send it in the morning (as it's late now) but I will send basically what you wrote. Thank you.

[leftme]

So I did it. It made my guts churn while I waited for a reply but then I was back to being ok.

 

I basically said what you said, she offered a method of sending it which wasn't suitable and I just requested she posted it.

 

It's strange that she uses x's but I know not to read into that. It's a friendly thing to do. I won't read into it much more than that but I dont want to appear overly friendly and therefore our exchange was brief to the point and resolved.

 

Thank you x (hehe)

[RedDress]

Oh that's great news!

 

Glad it worked out for you x (hehe)