I feel like i'm living a lie......

[Rosa]

I haven't posted in a while, been trying to move on, I still reminisce sometimes, and want to dial that number, but I don't.

I have a new boyfriend who likes me a lot, I like him also, not as much, and not as strong, but I do care for him. I miss that passion that I had with my ex, but I've been able to move on, slowly....

Yesterday my ex after three weeks called me, its funny because every three weeks he calls, is there a testosterone explanation to this? because every three weeks never fails... anyways, when he called, I didn't pick up the phone, it seems that everytime I do, I ended up a few steps back, so I didn't. Today I decided to c/b, and of course we talked, laughed, flirted, he even told me that he loves me, and that he feels so good every time he talks to me, and that yesterday when he called, he had a rush of emotions, and began to think about us, and he smiled, he also said that sometimes he would wanna dial my number and he would stop himself from dialing, and would force himself to think of other things, to not think of me..... he asked about my family with concern, our conversation got a little steamy reminiscing on our great sex life, and then we said I love you to each other, and he threw me a kiss, and we hung up.....

Of course I cried like an idiot, and wanted to scream! I was coming back from my b/f's house, then I started to feel happy, bcause I knew he still loves me, he also has a girlfriend, they have been dating since we broke up, ( 5 months), we had a 2 yr relationship, lived together 1 yr. I moved out in May 2004, in June I met my boyfriend, who is very suportive, nice, social, all my friendss love him, and thins he''s great for me, in a way i also believe this because I came from an intense realtionship, and with him i'm more relaxed, and in control of my feelings, but don't you love that uncontrolable feeling of love and passion, and knowing that someone feels the same for you? I do, I miss it a lot, and I don't have it with my new b/f, he does for me, but I don't.

Sometimes I feel like i'm living a lie, because i'm with the wrong man, but I don't wanna let him go,he's the best that's ever happened to me, and everyone else sees it in me...but i'm in love with someone else.

I don't know how to handle this.....

my b/f has done so much for me that i feel like i owe him, he bought me a car, helps me with my bills, we just came back from Vegas vacation, and wants to help me with EVERYTHING, I tell him he doesn't have to, but he still does it for me....

what i would really want is to get back with my ex and take things slow......but he broke things off with me, and I don;t wanna be rejected again by him, and regret not wanting to start over with someone new, who is willing to give me the world...

do you think I should give it a shot and talk with my ex? i've been plannig this day for long, and now I'm not sure if I should do it, and if it is the right thing to do.....the heart is so deceiving that i don't know if I can trust it...

anyways, what can i do?????

[Ated]

Why didn't it work out with your ex. I think you should have waited till you were over your ex. It's unfair to your current bf. I think your current bf is really in to you and i thik you should appreciate him better...

 

I dunno how to be more helpful, im sorry. But If u love your ex and he loves you, why is he with another girl?? Maybe you can ask him next time u talk what he REALLY wants. He can't play with ur emotions. He can't have his foot on the door. He's not letting you move on fully...

[Phoenix Down]

Hey,

I would take things slowly with your ex. It sounds like you both still have feelings for each other. Try to maybe start off as friends. But also keep in mind of your new relationships. You both should be open and honest with the new boy friend and girlfriend so theres no hurt for them.

Other than that I wish you the both. Just make sure it's not all about sex

n-less thats what you both want. Sometimes thats what holds people together, but it dosen't always work. But It can. Good Luck

[Soulfully]

Hey there. Dont want to sound nasty or anything, yet there's is something pretty wrong about all this situation. I guess what we believe "love" is does these things to us. I do think that you should follow your true "feelings"... whatever they may be. Yet I believe you havent got yourself into a very good situation. You both say you love each other yet are both in relationships? Am I missing the point here, or can we actually "be in love or love, or be in relationships and love other people romantically" aswell? Dont know, all sounds a little "complex".

 

Think about what you do Rosa... I believe people should follow their true feelings, yet sometimes these feelings are not as true as we think they are. Does that make any sense at all haha? I just hope your current boyfriend doesn't end up on these sites with a "My heart aches of the love I have for her... I gave and did everything for her, yet she left me for her ex".

 

Sorry if this sounds bitter... just another burnt heart & soul.

 

Peace

[mahlina]

Hi Rosa,

 

Welcome back. I know how you feel. If I were in your shoes, I'd first of all, question whether or not, I'm 'ready' for a relationship. I was in a situation like yours before, and I can honestly say that relationships on the rebound are really hard to work at. If things aren't settled between the ex, then it's a good idea not to be with anyone at all. It's tough to be with someone who we have lukewarm feelings for, especially if feelings for the ex aren't resolved yet.

 

About the ex, I'd be very careful as well. My advice is just from personal experience. Something just sounds wrong with the picture here. First of all, question why the break-up had to occur in the first place. Are the excuses legit? If not, then I'd proceed with caution. Question his ulterior motives. Some ex's are really good at calling back, sweet talking, etc. They'll tell you whatever it is that you want to hear, in order to get one thing: booty. Of course, not all ex's are going to be like this. Just be careful with the ex who you know, didn't have the best intentions in the first place. Truly ask yourself if this guy was genuine to you. My ex did all of the, "Oh my life is horrible right now. I miss you. I haven't met a girl that I bonded as much as I have with you." He did all of the crying, sweet talking, tried selling me the 'Dream Life.' Called me his 'Chinita', and said, "We're going to get married one day. I just know it." Huh! Yah right! What a Rico Suave. He was just full of baloney. If he truly wanted to marry me, then why break my heart in the first place? I interpret his nonsense as a pathetic attempt for a booty call. So, be careful. Whenever something sounds to good to be true, proceed with caution. In this case: Do not decide with your heart.

 

About your new man, that's kinda tough. If the relationship is still in it's stages of infancy, then perhaps you can sit down, and really think it over. I know that he's a nice guy, but, you must also ask yourself if you picture yourself being with this guy for a long time. If not, then perhaps it's best to cut things loose now, no? I believe in karma, so try not to create bad karma. I hope that things will work out for the best for you. Take Care... -Mahlina

[Rosa]

YOU SAID:

 

"You both say you love each other yet are both in relationships? Am I missing the point here"

 

I ask myself the same question, honestly my true feelings are to be with my ex, but I know that our past was hurtful, and he hold resentment in his heart, so I don't think its the right time to be together, but I'm afraid that if I wait too long, he's really gonna forget about me, because I know that time heals all wounds, and I know that I eill still love him, no my boyfriend doesn't know at all about what's goenon, oviously...

 

I believe people should follow their true feelings, yet sometimes these feelings are not as true as we think they are. Does that make any sense at all haha?

 

no, I don't understand, I've thought about this over and over, and I do believe i love him for all the right reasons, we both have flaws, and are not perfect, but the chemistry, and happiness that I once had with him is so hard to find, I believe is only with him....because I do love him.

So I do feel that these feelinds are true on my side, but I'm afraid that on his side is just this challenge to see if I'm still there for him.....

I'm trying to be the cool chick and talk to him like everything is all good,.. I don't know myself what i'm trying to accomplish by talking to him, when I know it hurts...I guess yes, i'm waiting for those magic words, because everytime we speak I feel they are closer and closer, but they never come....

 

So I was talking to my best friend, and she said I shouldn't have responded to the " I love you" because that's what he wanted to hear, and I just reassured him that I'm still there.....

I mean he does know I have a b/f and that he's a cool guy, ( my ex asked a friend of his, how my b/f is, and he responded that he was a cool guy) so that must have hurt a little, becasue he called me... you know???

 

I didn't think about it in the way my bestfriend put it, so now I fell like an idiot, because I just bought him time... at least that's how she made me feel....

 

i'm afraid to let a good guy go, and then not work out with my ex, and regret it for the rest of my life....what sucks is that my heart is not completely with my current boyfriend....its been 4 months already, don't you think I should be there completely with him? I don't know...