Plz read, My ex has some major issues..

[TRM38]

My ex of a 6.5 yr relationship actualy doesn't remember alot of things from our 6.5 yr relationship. Her and I have broken up a couple times during our over 6 yr relationship, I'm not blaming her but she suffers from extreme anxiety and extreme OCD only stated that in case it's relevant. We r 4 months into our 3rd breakup( I know we should have parted ways long ago but she's a beautiful ( and I don't just mean looks) woman . The other 2 breakups were short, only a couple months. Whenever we have split she's sweet caring and wishes me well , hopes i find someone and has told me all 3 times that there is never a chance of us getting together again she is completely finished , Not out of angry either, in a kind caring way but distant. We usually have stayed in contact and even hung out some , but when we talk she downgrades the relationship to just a couple people that hung out some , no fun , no conection. The first time I was very hurt and felt like all the amazing times that she seemed so into us( we shopped for rings planned on getting married, shared so many things and it has always been pretty serious) even the mind blowing sex we had( lol and no she wasnt faking , that was obvious) it was rare a day went by I never saw her. The sec breakup I noticed she had said all the same things as b4 so I noticed a pattern, the third , same thing. For ex today she said she had been practicing guitar and singing too, I told her I missed that . She called me a liar and said I hated her singing! Everytime she practiced when I was around I always told her I loved to watch her how she smiled, looked so pretty and had the most beautiful voice, she would accept the compliments and beam with happiness while I sat smiling watching her. After each break up she has came back in a sort of panic, thinks something's wrong with her, how could she forget all the great things about me and forget all the times we shared and how close we r.( I mean she totaly blocks all the great things out, even places we went, had fun alot of details, even good things about me), totaly upset and worried something is wrong with her. Plz help because I'm starting to feel like the one with something wrong in my head. If she didn't remember all the details and recite events, times we shared, fun we had and how close we r, I'd b on the way to a dr. This last stint while we were together, we would talk about things, as little as when we went to a movie or a party a month b4 she would have this confused look and not remember, sometimes she would joke about it or laugh and feel glad she had me to remember stuff. I think it's getting worse. I tried talking to her when we were together about seeing a dr but she gets angry and insulted no matter how caring I am. Also she has no support system, no family that would help and low on friends as she's kind of a loner. Has anyone heard of this before, an ex totaly blocking good things out and really not remembering them? Experienced this before? Please help because not only does it hurt but I really care for and love this woman.

[Ms Darcy]

I think the problem is that you are still in contact with her. You need a really long break from contact to get some perspective on how unhealthy this dynamic is and how to heal yourself.

[PrincessBOT]

Whenever we have split she's sweet caring and wishes me well , hopes i find someone and has told me all 3 times that there is never a chance of us getting together again she is completely finished , Not out of angry either, in a kind caring way but distant.

 

I stopped reading right here because that sentence reflects the end of a relationship by someone who has already left it. So for it to be happening a third time is waste of time and show of immaturity. There is one thing to be passionate about someone and reconcile, but to wish someone well with another person is ....I don't know, something that most likely should not be and will never truly be.

[TRM38]

Thxs for the reply, I agree with u it's been very unhealthy for me but how do walk away from someone u care about that obviously has some serious issues? Have u heard of anything like what's went on in our relationship?

[TRM38]

Princess I understand your reply and advice, I agree with u based on what u read but can u read the rest please?

[PrincessBOT]

Princess I understand your reply and advice, I agree with u based on what u read but can u read the rest please?

 

I read it and some people just have better memories than others. I personally can't remember a movie two weeks after I see it or who I saw it with in some cases. There are many times my in relationship I don't recall weeks month or years later while in the relationship. She seems to young to suffer from Alzhiemers so she may just need some Ginkoba boloba, more nutrients and/or exercise. I found that eating better, drinking more water and exercising and taking vitamins not only sped up my metabolism but improved my memory. I think her memory irrelevant if she built those feeling they don't go away because she can't remember some times you spent, unless she has full blown Alzheimers or some kind of brain ailment of that sort.

 

However this

After each break up she has came back in a sort of panic, thinks something's wrong with her, how could she forget all the great things about me and forget all the times we shared and how close we r

takes me back to my first comment. Her panic is more like immaturity to deal with the end and move on , she hit some kind of emotional hurdle that you are usually there for and come running back to her comfort zone for some time instead of dealing with it on her on. The immaturity carries over into going back into a relationship as a crutch. I am making assumptions at this point based on what I read. If she truly does have medical issue than you may have to get her family and/or close friends involved to urge her to get help. This also give you the opportunity to see if she has this memory loss in other areas of her family and social life or conveniently just with you.

[TRM38]

I noticed u said she seems too young , not sure if u caught it from my profile name but she's 41 . Thank you for your time and the reply, I had no idea vitamins and exercise can affect a persons memory as she can get pretty "comfortable" by times, I hate to say lazy because she has the cleanest house imaginable due to her OCD and anxiety, but she does let herself go. Another point is to distract herself when we r broke up she exercises very regularly and takes better care of herself diet wise as well. I have a perfect memory I can remember most details but for her to even forget we talked of marriage and shopped for rings( both were her ideas) also to forget we were shopping for a house together ( her idea as well and she would constantly text me links to house listings while I was working) I find these pretty significant things to forget.. I apreciate your insight and the time u took to add your advice.., I'm actualy thinking of going nc and if/when she tries to return make it a demand that we look into this issue together. In the meantime I would b trying to heal and move on, not waiting for her. It's a hard leap to take as I really do love and care for this woman ...

[PrincessBOT]

You are welcome and no, I didn't see anywhere that she was 41, so early Alzhiemers is not out of the question or some kind of brain tumor because that is not normal to completely forget things like that. I go back to wondering if it is selective and only with you or other areas of her life because it may be a real medical condition...As far as the immaturity aspect, .by holding on to a done relationship and running back to comfort zone in my opinion is still an issue. I'm in my early 30's and my ex was 50 years old but had the maturity level socially and in relationship wise of a 25 year old, although he was super smart , seemed like he knew something about everything and in detail. And yes, it look like you will need to be the one that moves on permanently. It won't be easy, but the sooner you start doing the inevitable the sooner you can heal.

[Tom1990]

This sounds rather familiar. Another possibility is borderline personality disorder, which was my ex. We went to the aquarium once, which is one of her favorite places. A few months later, I mentioned it again, and she was so confused. She couldn't remember it ever happened.

 

At any rate, a further relationship with her is unlikely for you. She needs to see a doctor about it. You've done all that you can.