Why do girls play games?

[junebug123]

I am trying to understand the psychology behind the workings of the female mind. You meet a girl, you tell her you like her, it turns out she likes you too. Things move on from there: step 2, you hang out spend time together. step3 drama: sometimes girls start acting weird and this always happens to me, i try to avoid them for this 3rd step the drama part. First they lie to you, then they don't return your messages, then they don't answer your calls. Then they get mad when you stop calling and they start crying like little kids when you leave them. What is the point of all of this drama? Why do they play these games about wanting to be with you and then acting all shady then you admit the same thing. This push, pull thing i don't get it at all. It is like every time you give a girl a second chance she just does the same thing wrong which she did the first time but low and behold you are always to blame in everyone's eyes.

 

the story, i made plans to see this girl two days ago, so somehow she forgets or sleeps late or whatever it is. I tell her im going to meet you at the spot and ill be there at 2 pm sharp. She replies with ok but tells me she is running late cause she is far (not where she said she would be). At this point i could understand someone who has half a brain just taking a shower, getting dressed, and getting on the train ASAP (and if they don't have money for the train then asking someone to swipe them on which they have probably done dozens of times before). but instead they do something else, and they tell you they are being held up. Long story short you end up waiting for 5 hours doing nothing for this person to show trying to figure out what happened texting back and forth like an idiot, they refusing the pick up the phone the entire time and you realized that enough is enough and you cannot be with someone who behaves like this. Then out of stupid curiosity you check they're fb page and they are crying as an uploaded pic? the next day.

 

now, what is the point of all this? games i tell you, games all the time.

[Klokwurk]

This sounds like high school. i would change the type of girls you choose to hang around. You are old enough to date responsible, mature girls now.

[junebug123]

This sounds like high school. i would change the type of girls you choose to hang around. You are old enough to date responsible, mature girls now.

 

Yeah you are right thing is this girl is 23 but acts like she is 16. I noticed that with the young girls they play games, but the older girls 29 - 30 ( i am 26 but i have dated girls 9 years my senior in the past ) they don't play games and have their **** together ( some of them, there are others who still play games at that age ). I need to meet those mature women!

[Angler]

You're involved with girls. Try women.

[CeeLambrini]

Is this an attack on the opposite sex or do you want advice? I suppose I'd be considered to be in the "girls" category and I never behave like that. In fact, it is mostly the "boys" who play the mind games but I'm not going to tar all males with the same brush. Have you considered that perhaps you are attracted to a certain kind of girl? Maybe emotionally unavailable girls are your thing, and the ones who have all the love to give you are way too easy for you to figure out - and therefore aren't exciting to you. I'd stay single and keep your heart off your sleeve when it comes to girls until you start having feelings for the ones who aren't going to carelessly hurt you.

[minorissues]

OK, default answer: SOME PEOPLE play games. Not JUST girls. Not JUST guys. I'm a girl who doesn't play games. I'm honest and straightforward and if I like you or don't like you, you'll know. I've been this way all of my life so my gender and age are irrelevant. On the contrary, I'm currently "dating" a guy in his 40's who plays more push and pull games than the "players" I occasionally ran into in my 20's.

 

Why do some people play games though? Who knows. Maybe they have issues and thrive on drama, or the thrill of the chase. Maybe they're just not that into you and are too inconsiderate to properly decline a date or tell you when they are running late. Maybe they're just socially inept and don't know how to behave in social situations. As others have said, if you don't like games, leave the confirmed game players behind and find mature girls who will treat you right. They exist. If a girl can't give you a good, solid reason for flaking on you or being shady, no second chances!

[becomingkate]

Long story short you end up waiting for 5 hours doing nothing for this person to show trying to figure out what happened texting back and forth like an idiot, they refusing the pick up the phone the entire time and you realized that enough is enough and you cannot be with someone who behaves like this.

 

I can't believe you waited five hours! On a date, I might wait 20 minutes, but after that I'm gone.

 

I don't know why you're attracted to girls like that. Are you going for looks first, and personality second?

[Patrick974]

Well duh... date older women, they don't play games and avoid dramas unlike these little girls.

[HeatherB]

I am trying to understand the psychology behind the workings of the female mind.

 

Trying to understand the psychology behind the workings of the female mind. Ha. Hahahahahaha. Oh man. Good luck. Just...good luck.

 

In your second paragraph you describe basic time management issues and rudeness, not game playing. In the first paragraph, you describe what happens when a chick gets overly involved too quickly. She tries to hold back for a bit...and then finally lets you have it because she's anxious.

 

You can influence all of this by being clear and setting and enforcing your boundaries. But remember, females have individual minds. We are not like some sort of hive creatures. You have to figure us out individually. And good luck with that too.

[CeeLambrini]

Trying to understand the psychology behind the workings of the female mind. Ha. Hahahahahaha. Oh man. Good luck. Just...good luck.

 

In your second paragraph you describe basic time management issues and rudeness, not game playing. In the first paragraph, you describe what happens when a chick gets overly involved too quickly. She tries to hold back for a bit...and then finally lets you have it because she's anxious.

 

You can influence all of this by being clear and setting and enforcing your boundaries. But remember, females have individual minds. We are not like some sort of hive creatures. You have to figure us out individually. And good luck with that too.

 

Haha, or you could try Men are from mars, women are from venus - might be a good place to start.

[Psychomagnet]

I don't know why you're attracted to girls like that. Are you going for looks first, and personality second?

 

How does someone go after personality first? It's not stapled to their forehead. Attractiveness gets you there, personality keeps you there. Women do this too. You don't roll up to a guy you don't find attractive in any way on the off chance he has a great personality, come on.

 

Some people DO play head games usually depending on if they have what they think are better options. Otherwise they are just flaky in general and best avoided. It sucks but no matter the age I've seen it play out that way on both gender sides.

[CeeLambrini]

How does someone go after personality first? It's not stapled to their forehead. Attractiveness gets you there, personality keeps you there. Women do this too. You don't roll up to a guy you don't find attractive in any way on the off chance he has a great personality, come on.

 

I agree but let's be honest. It isn't just pretty vs. ugly. If there's a fairly attractive girl hanging around, but then an absolute stunner standing next to her, who would you notice more? And who would make you more flattered when they came up to come and talk to you? It's for both men and women here as well. Now they both might have great personalities, who knows. But when it comes to the "fairly decent" looking girl, it might take getting to know her a little more before you realise that she is the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm not putting myself down or anything when I say this, but I honestly think I am one of those people who will only get prettier once you get to know me, I'm not ugly, but I'm also not the first girl that would catch your eye when scoping a bar. The best looking guys I have been with have usually walked all over me but I've always been so flattered that such a hot guy is interested in me, that it usually takes me a while to think "hey wait...this guy's an A-Hole!!"

[Thorshammer]

They play tests because they are emotional (and believe they can get away with because they are). Men do this too, except women dont deal with it, they cut them off quicker, while men hold on to dear life. yes, this is stererotyping on gender, but its based on the experience of myself, people around me, and this forum. maturity and experience will help fine-tune us all.

[Justpin]

20 minutes? I tend to walk at 10.

[junebug123]

Sometimes we stay because we hope that maybe there was a problem and it could be sorted out, and why not give that person the benefit of the doubt because leaving in 20 minutes to have the person come in half an hour is stupid if you really want to spend time with them. Also this was a make it or break it for me with this girl so i really wanted to make it work and i knew that if i had left that there would be no reconciliation so i waited like a fool. It wasn't like a typical date with some stranger we were already involved with each other prior to the date, and i knew that if she came it would have been really good (depending on her mood). That is just it, the mood determines so much and when you deal with someone who has no control over their moods, then crazy **** happens. I am pretty sure this is what happened but either way i cannot spend time invested in someone like that.

 

Thorshammer brings up a very good point, men and women both play games but women don't put up with men games. Yeah i was stereotyping a little but hey i don't date guys so how the hell am i suppose to know if i guy plays games or not. Anyways, thanks for the feedback and yes older women are more mature but i like the bodies of the young ones and i have dated girls 6 - 7 years my junior. In my experience i can grow with the young girls even thou they are immature they are more willing to be shaped and molded, but the older ones already have been designed so much so that if you try to go in with even a chisel you will find that it will take a while to see any changes. ( I am not sure if you understand that last one but it has been my experience).