Im hurtin' bad :o(

[frozenfire]

Hi im new and i need to share this with somoene.

 

Basically me and my girlfriend (now ex) have been together for 2 and half years and we loved eachother a lot. We havnt slept with anyone else before we met we had some good times and a few bad. at first we went out a lot and things were good. the bad times were due to money problems and the fact that we dont know what its like with other people and other silly thngs. so we tried having breaks when she was doing exams and a few other difficult times but they never worked we wanted to see eachother all the time, as she only lives 5 miles away. she finally broke up with me before my 21st but then came back. so did money problems because i had to save for a long holiday to see her dad.

so we went abroad and we still seen eachother everyday obviously cos we were on a long holiday we stayed with eachother.

we decided that we would have a break when we got back, but when it came to it she didnt want to but i thought we need to. at this time i wanted to know what other people was like and i am easily influenced by friends, how i wish i never had this break as i kissed a girl a few times and i didnt fancy her, my girl found out as i told her, she was upset so we tried again. but a few weeks on i wanted a break or bit more serious - i didnt think this through but it happened and she was upset. she couldnt show me this because i had no phone and she had no car.

i love her to bits and she stayed at my house a few times but wouldnt come back to me.

so i have a bit of single fun but havnt kissed any one. i found out she has kissed somoene and now is seeing him - this is 2 months after i wanted the final break.

I was completely broken as we were in the same club, and she kept sayin dont be like this.

she says she loves me and always will but doesnt want it.

i keep trying cos i cant help myself, i cry everyday when we speak.

and i am completely lost.

everything i see and do reminds me of my baby.

and we both made a decision when we were together that we shouldnt get a new boyfriend or girlfriend to soon, so we dont hurt eachother?

she says she is confused.

but this lad she is seeing is also a work colleague.

but she would never cheat, but she knows him well and i need her before its too late. help me please!!!!!

 

thankyou for your time, and so sorry if too long!!

 

 

[/b]

[killer_bimbo]

She may come back to you, but there is very little you can do to help matters. You just have to do your best to get over her as best you can, and in time, she may or may not get back with you. Feelings can change over the months, and neither you or her are able to predict what is going to happen, and the timescale is likely to be in months, rather than her getting back with you in a few weeks. Whether you get back with her or not, you hopefully would have learnt some valuable lessons. Having a break in a relationship is a serious thing to do, and if you do need to think about stuff, you should try to do it whilst in a relationship, and only show the outcome when you are absolutely sure. I've always thought of breaks in a relationship as carrying on the love and promises of the relationship, but just not seeing each other. Breaking up with her may have been a mistake, but we have to accept the consequences of our mistakes, and learn from them. Deciding to break up with your ex girlfriend was proabably one of the most important decisions in your life, and you didn't think it through, and you need to learn that when you tell someone it is over, you've made an irreversible decision, and whether you get back together is utterly out of your hands. As for her with a new boyfriend, you do also need to accept that you and her have been split up for 2 months, and you have no right to expect her not to see this man as a boyfriend, as painful as it may be for you She wouldn't be cheating on you if she was with him, as you two are not together anymore, and you need to let their relationship run it's course. She may break up with him within weeks, or she may fall in love with him and stay with him for years, she may decide that she really wants to be with you, but that is completely in her hands

[frozenfire]

That was very helpful but i feel i missed something,

She said she will always love me and when i said i might do something silly (to get her back) she broke down into tears with me for fear of losing me.

So i know she cares and i know she wants a break and needs space, last time she said that just before my 21st and i was crying all night as she stayed at my house still but she still said she probably wont get back with me.

Now this time i just wonder how she can easily say "its completely over"

 

As it goes.... i just spoke to her as she doesnt mind speaking to me cos im so upset and she said the only reason she said she wont ever get back with me is so i dont get my hopes up as it might never happen.

 

I told her i respect her wanting space and single life etc.

 

she is only seeing another guy, not boyfriend though. "seeing" is a term we use for two people kindof maybe together kinda thing!! no commitment etc.

 

But i wonder why i wasnt upset much a few days after she finished in july2002?

But this time, the time i say i need a break then it turns against me and she wont come back but still stays at my house now and again but then a few more weeks on and she meets this guy, and im completely falling apart?? isit maybe cos im not too bad when i know shes single and safe and still may get with me but now the guy might pose a threat.

 

p.s. when i kissed this girl on our first break my girlfriend said dont ever touch her again, and this first break was when this guy started saying stuff to my ex girlfriend. so i said ok i wont touch her if u dont touch this guy??

and look what happens??

 

I get told "dont be silly" when i moan about her male work colleagues fancying her, she says dont be silly, and look what happens?? she gets with him?

 

 

---- irrelevant stuff froma while ago ------------

this happened a while ago- before i met her she had a little thing with this guy but it was over. then i meet her and we become partners and i moan about him being at same college, speaking to her. she says "trust me its ok were friends"

so its ok and then about 6 months on she tells me something when were both drunk--- "this guy wanted to get with me but i told him no, this happened a while ago" so she kept it from me, maybe to stop me getting upset.???

--------------end---------------------

 

Basically shes never cheated on me and shes a wonderful attractive nice person and she cares an awful lot but i dont think shes being fair??

[kaliguy80]

man, gals will alway say that they love u and u mean more to them...bla bla bla.......i broke up 1 1/2 year and i didnt' talk to my ex for like more than a year...and i recently talked to her......guess wat...talking to her helped me move on in just 4 days.....dont' ask me how, cuz i don't know either........anyway, she was still.....u mean a lot.....u still have an imp place in my heart.....bla bla bla.......but then again.....she has a b/f for like a year now.....and even though she wants to talk to me and shit....i recently found out that i m on 'yucky people' list on her buddy list.......not like i care anymore but its just like that.......forget ur ex and move on.....u will have ur chances.....i had 2 gal ask me out in a year.....that never happened to me before......so go out....forget ur ex and live ur life.....i know it took me a while but someday something will click and it will feel like u have moved on.....happned to me and hope it happens to u soon.......take care.