frozenfire

This is my first love!! but im nearly 22 and dont think there is much more partying todo. most people are different when there single cos they spread there wings and have fun. we could of been better together but we were unsure f how ure supposed tobe as it was our first! i was always jealous as i didnt want to lose her, and over protective which i think she liked in a way. i told her when i first tried getting her back that she could go out wid her m8's etc and i would pick her up. she sed sorry but i cant give u what u want. but look what happens when i leave her alone! she comes back, but is still unsure. to be honest i think we should try again cos we love eachother so much. but i realise it would be hard to split again cos we now know what its like. It was both our first love and sexual partner. but now shes slept with him, and ive still only slept with her. which is worse. 1, us trying again then splitting 2,going separate ways and realising that it could be wrong. both goin to same university soon, im nearly 22 shes nearly 20. but ill be part-time and her full-time its gonna be hard when we see eachother with different people. and i dont want her to go through that. and i have only seen her with him once, she also told him she dont wanna rub it in. we had the baby talk and special names in our relatioship. we were always together. started argueing everyday about little things. got a bit bad before we went to australia. i suppose we lost respect for eachother, but we were more like trying to be what a relationships suppose to be. maybe we didnt work after a while, but i wanna try again. but i cant contact her, cos i told her i cant be friends, so i gotta sit n wait for something that might not come which is to harsh. so i gotta jus leave it. but i need to know what shes thinking. how can she enjoy her holiday being like this??

we broke up cos we were argueing from seeing too much of eachother cos we couldnt be apart then there was financial strain and i was down from work etc then we took it all too oz for 3 months, so we decided on a break when we got back, but she dint want it and was hurt wen i kissed a girl which i only done cos i was curious as my girlfriend (ex) was my first! so we got bk and i thought it was too soon so i sed about another break which she couldnt bear so we split. i messed up!! she got with this kid from work, and now she misses me?? but is not sure what she wants as it would be hars on the both of us if its the wrong decision, I understand i have to get through this, as for the "i love you and sorry for messing u around" txt message. ive sent it, not exspecting her too reply and she hasnt either. when she left on monday night she sed ok i wont txt u .-cos thats what i sed i have to do cos it hurts me when im reminded of her. we also cuddled, then spoke by her car then pecked on the lips. and the tuesday morning i rang her, she was crying when i was saying ok bye! asif its the last time we spk. although i rang her again too make sure she didnt come up last night just too try n be friends. and she sed she never, because she felt she was missing me on friday, and it was saturday when i ignored her and sunday when i sed i cnt be friends. i think we both need and love eachother, but shes scared of losing me all over again, but she might lose me now?? thnks for all ure advice.

Hi again, for my situation please goto search and type in frozenfire as author and goto topic - im hurtin'bad Basically its been another 2 months and i see her now and again and talk to her. he is now her boyfriend which i found out when i went to hers for my license. I then realised i have to move on and told her "i wont txt u n e more cos it hurts me" she sed ok if thats what i gotta do! so i havnt txt her, but i spoke in a club wid her, but still stopped txtin. then few more weeks on i c her up town on a saturday and walk past to ignore but she tapped me and i sed hi and carried on walking and didnt spk . then i seen her in next pub and ignored her. that night he picked her up. same night her m8 and my m8 talked about getting back.- (they used to have long relationship). so sunday came and my m8's ex (who is also friends with my ex) sed that my ex's new boyfriend stayed at her house (i wsnt allowwed too, although i did.), so my friend sed to his ex " thought noone was allowed to stay their" and she sed she sneaks him in. but my ex txt me on sunday askin why i ignored her. i sed i cnt be friends as it hurts me too much.she says she dont know wot to do n e more? then comes monday i txt her sayin my mum wants her exercise thingy bk. and she basically offered to bring it up and wanted me to be their. i offered her to come in and she did for four hours. she asked who i went home with sat night but i sed its not her business. she says she dont know wether she wants boyfriend or me. shes so confused and dont know wether shes comin or goin!! i sed about her new boyf stayin at hers, she sed he never, her friend was a bit drunk and her drink got spiked so she prob confused. i dint ask if she sneaks him in in the past - i forgot. she sed since friday she sed to her m8 shes missing me loads etc. she says she cant look at our "long holiday" photos or photos of me. and she sed about the time after the first break i kissed a girl then the second break she couldnt go through it again so she sed no break so thats when i sed ok a split? and she sed about the time when i took her somewhere after the first break and we were bk 2getha she sed she done her hair and made an attempt to look good and all i did was spk about this girl i kissed. when she told me this i felt mega bad and told her i dint realise. i have a problem too with evaluating everything and going through what ive sed and what she sed in my head.- maybe to salvage things asif they were the last times with her or maybe to figure how she feels?? but ne way.- i spoke to her nxt morning (tuesday) to make sure she dint come uo to try n be friends and she sed no it was legitamate that she is confused and dont know what todo.also sed she dont think she could love him and she dint really want the gift he gave her. i later txt her tellin her she should spk to him- maybe i shouldnt. shes goin holiday sn for a week. i told her on txt msg-tohave a good time,and will u contact me when u sort head out? and she sed it depends- i think she sed it depends on what the decision is. i sed what if i got a new girlfriend by then, she sed shell still ring me? while at my house on monday night she was well upset and was messed up!! im sure i love her to bits and really care for her, i told her to be careful on holiday. she sed on monday night while upset "just remember that i understand why u cant just be friends" i feel bad about this but its messing me up if i spk to her as it resets my head and i go through it again! she knows i want her, should i txt her a msg that she can keep reading?? saying- hey u, want u 2 know i love u, ive lernt my lesson. so sorry i mesed u around + made u feel so bad + i would try so hard to make it work. have a nice hols. love me. would this make her think im always there for her and push her away. or would it be good to tel her or would it upset her and ruin holiday? then again, its a big step, what if i dont now what i want. cant bear this, i need her. sorry for so long.[/b]

That was very helpful but i feel i missed something, She said she will always love me and when i said i might do something silly (to get her back) she broke down into tears with me for fear of losing me. So i know she cares and i know she wants a break and needs space, last time she said that just before my 21st and i was crying all night as she stayed at my house still but she still said she probably wont get back with me. Now this time i just wonder how she can easily say "its completely over" As it goes.... i just spoke to her as she doesnt mind speaking to me cos im so upset and she said the only reason she said she wont ever get back with me is so i dont get my hopes up as it might never happen. I told her i respect her wanting space and single life etc. she is only seeing another guy, not boyfriend though. "seeing" is a term we use for two people kindof maybe together kinda thing!! no commitment etc. But i wonder why i wasnt upset much a few days after she finished in july2002? But this time, the time i say i need a break then it turns against me and she wont come back but still stays at my house now and again but then a few more weeks on and she meets this guy, and im completely falling apart?? isit maybe cos im not too bad when i know shes single and safe and still may get with me but now the guy might pose a threat. p.s. when i kissed this girl on our first break my girlfriend said dont ever touch her again, and this first break was when this guy started saying stuff to my ex girlfriend. so i said ok i wont touch her if u dont touch this guy?? and look what happens?? I get told "dont be silly" when i moan about her male work colleagues fancying her, she says dont be silly, and look what happens?? she gets with him? ---- irrelevant stuff froma while ago ------------ this happened a while ago- before i met her she had a little thing with this guy but it was over. then i meet her and we become partners and i moan about him being at same college, speaking to her. she says "trust me its ok were friends" so its ok and then about 6 months on she tells me something when were both drunk--- "this guy wanted to get with me but i told him no, this happened a while ago" so she kept it from me, maybe to stop me getting upset.??? --------------end--------------------- Basically shes never cheated on me and shes a wonderful attractive nice person and she cares an awful lot but i dont think shes being fair??

Hi im new and i need to share this with somoene. Basically me and my girlfriend (now ex) have been together for 2 and half years and we loved eachother a lot. We havnt slept with anyone else before we met we had some good times and a few bad. at first we went out a lot and things were good. the bad times were due to money problems and the fact that we dont know what its like with other people and other silly thngs. so we tried having breaks when she was doing exams and a few other difficult times but they never worked we wanted to see eachother all the time, as she only lives 5 miles away. she finally broke up with me before my 21st but then came back. so did money problems because i had to save for a long holiday to see her dad. so we went abroad and we still seen eachother everyday obviously cos we were on a long holiday we stayed with eachother. we decided that we would have a break when we got back, but when it came to it she didnt want to but i thought we need to. at this time i wanted to know what other people was like and i am easily influenced by friends, how i wish i never had this break as i kissed a girl a few times and i didnt fancy her, my girl found out as i told her, she was upset so we tried again. but a few weeks on i wanted a break or bit more serious - i didnt think this through but it happened and she was upset. she couldnt show me this because i had no phone and she had no car. i love her to bits and she stayed at my house a few times but wouldnt come back to me. so i have a bit of single fun but havnt kissed any one. i found out she has kissed somoene and now is seeing him - this is 2 months after i wanted the final break. I was completely broken as we were in the same club, and she kept sayin dont be like this. she says she loves me and always will but doesnt want it. i keep trying cos i cant help myself, i cry everyday when we speak. and i am completely lost. everything i see and do reminds me of my baby. and we both made a decision when we were together that we shouldnt get a new boyfriend or girlfriend to soon, so we dont hurt eachother? she says she is confused. but this lad she is seeing is also a work colleague. but she would never cheat, but she knows him well and i need her before its too late. help me please!!!!! thankyou for your time, and so sorry if too long!! [/b]