Jump to content

If your friend fell in love with you, would you just walk away?

cadmiumblue

By cadmiumblue
in Friendship and Friends

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 109
  • Created
  • Last Reply
camus154 Mentor

camus154

Posted
Posted

OP,

 

Giving advice to people like you is always a difficult task. The biggest problem you face is yourself, and the task of trying to get you to understand that your life is your responsibility, and yours alone, is often impossible.

 

You've been hurt by something. You have bitterness because of it. The years pass, and you find yourself in a negative feedback loop--your bitterness clouds your viewpoint, you succumb to self-pity, nothing changes, your bitterness is reinforced. Rinse, repeat.

 

It doesn't matter if this something you're bitter over is an ex friend, a past lover, the death of someone close to you, whatever. The point is, this happened 6 years ago. And in that time you tell us you've done nothing--nothing!--to try to change things. But you talk about how it "just seems to happen" to other people. You're caught up in a victim mentality that deludes you into thinking happiness is something that everyone else in the world lucks into, while you're destined to be miserable.

 

It's laziness of the worst kind. It's an excuse for you to remain in your bubble of self-pity, not lifting a finger of effort to try to change the course of your life.

 

Perhaps you should spend some more time in the forums, reading any one of the literally thousands of stories here about the trials and tribulations people go through in an effort to find love, keep love, maintain love. See if you can do that and still say it just seems to happen for other people.

Link to comment
camus154 Mentor

camus154

Posted
Posted
The fact that not many people are 28 and never kissed anyone says it all.

 

Sigh.

 

See what I mean about this being next to impossible?

 

Fine, I get it. You're lonely, you're hurt by the past, you're a kissless 28 year old.

 

So shall we sit with a cup of tea and repeat that over and over again, or shall we move on and look for a solution? Do you even WANT things to change?

Link to comment
penelope13 Rising Star

penelope13

Posted
Posted

Having someone kiss you (or kissing someone) - requires you going out of your house and actually mingle/interact with people.

 

Wanting a relationship - requires you going out of your house (at least virtually) and mingle/interact with people.

 

Relationships don't 'just happen'. Even meaningless random sex with a stranger doesn't 'just happen.'

 

It all requires you to actively seek out situations where the chances of these things occurring is significantly increased.

 

Moping around "I want this and that, but not do anything for it" is unrealistic.

 

If you believe for other people it's easy to have obtained what they have: why don't you stop assuming and ASK them how they got to where they got.

 

Every single time someone tells you about their personal experience, instead of responding with a 'how did you do that' you come back with 'but I have it worse'.

 

I can wish upon the stars, but I need to be realistic with my expectations and hopes if I want to reach my goals.

 

You want to become a freelance blogger. Fabulous. Great. How about actually going out there and making new experiences, so people will get curious about what you have to say. Reading about someone going on and on about 'i'm so miserable, but I don't want to do anything about it' - is not going to be very popular.

 

However, if you were to write a blog about 'how I managed to improve myself and my life' - could become life saving for other people.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...