If relationships really take work, why does it seem like they just happen?

[CeeLambrini]

To be honest your vibes are pushing me from wanting to be your friend at this moment because you're surrounding yourself with self pity. Maybe take the advice you've been given today and put it to good use, or at least be a little thankful people took the time to attempt to help you.

[cadmiumblue]

Yes, my vibes make people not want to be my friend. Which is why the huge *****es I've known had no friends.

 

Oh wait. They did have friends. Interesting.

[Mercurial Girl]

You're probably walking around with a big scowl on your face and a very obvious "don't approach me" attitude. I say obvious because I can feel it by reading your text, so I can't imagine how strong this energy is in person. You really should talk to someone about how to break out of this negative cycle you're in so that you can be more open to people and experiences.

 

However, I have a feeling you're going to dismiss what I've said just as you've done with the other posters as you're looking for validation for your feelings and beliefs, and you aren't open to advice. You don't want help, you want pity. How's that workin' for ya?

 

But hey, that's your loss. Not ours.

[Fudgie]

You probably don't have any friends because (as you've admitted before) you *hate* people in their 20s who are enjoying their life because you are not.

 

So basically, the only friends you could ever hope to have are those who hate life, just like you. Not a good prospect, right?

 

This is why you need an attitude change. I (like many others) would not approach you for any friendship if you gave the vibe that you hated me because I was happy. Why would I want to be in the company of someone like that? I wouldn't.

[Seraphim]

Maybe you feel you are hiding this vibe or anger behind being shy? So you think no one notices? They do. People are not as dumb as you think they are.

[Fudgie]

I used to project a lot of anger like you, OP, in the past, when I was down and struggling internally with a lot of things. You should see some of my past posts here, LOL.

 

No seriously, but it can be fixed. Attitudes are very fixable. There is nothing permanent about them.

[Seraphim]

I used to project a lot of anger like you, OP, in the past, when I was down and struggling internally with a lot of things. You should see some of my past posts here, LOL.

 

No seriously, but it can be fixed. Attitudes are very fixable. There is nothing permanent about them.

I can attest to that....lol...Fudgie and I used to go head to head all the time when she first got here. She was billigerent and bitter and angry too. She has changed.

 

Cadium the only person who controls how you are is YOU.

[PetiteGirl]

Life isn't about getting into relationship. It's about being happy with yourself because when you're happy, you're sexy. Love will come through when you start to love yourself, when you go out, do interesting stuff and just live life. Relationship is not a guarantee for happiness, nor does it cure loneliness.

 

And getting into relationship takes work like not just "waiting for it." It's a choice to go out and put yourself out there.

[Moontiger]

I meet my ex when he was laying face down in the grass and I happened to walk by. I could not resist asking him what he was doing. If he had given me a bad attitude I would have just walked away thinking what he jerk he was, instead, he laughed and we started talking, he was nice, we went on a date and that was that. The relationship lasted three years.

 

My current guy I meet at a party, he talked to me not at me, was nice, sweet, funny, and when he asked for my phone number he stuttered, there were a lot of "umms", you get the picture.

 

The other night I'm at with my girlfriends. One of my single friends spotted a guy stopped with a really cool bike. She is a biker so she went over and asked him, very nicely (I heard everything) if she could take a picture of him. He rolled his eyes at her, scowled, and said in a snarky way "Well I can't stop you." She turned right around and we spent the rest of the night talking about what a jerk he was. That guy could have gotten a date with a hot lady but his attitude prevented that. And now there are a group of ladies around town telling everyone "If you see thing guy with a (what the bike looks like) don't go near him. He was a huge jerk to my friend."

[CeeLambrini]

I meet my ex when he was laying face down in the grass and I happened to walk by. I could not resist asking him what he was doing. If he had given me a bad attitude I would have just walked away thinking what he jerk he was, instead, he laughed and we started talking, he was nice, we went on a date and that was that. ."

 

Moontiger, what on earth was he doing??

[Moontiger]

Trying to take a nap...

[cadmiumblue]

Maybe you feel you are hiding this vibe or anger behind being shy? So you think no one notices? They do. People are not as dumb as you think they are.

 

I never said people were dumb.

 

Generally, yes. I come off as shy.

[cadmiumblue]

Moontiger, that's an interesting story.

 

I used to work at Walmart, and sometimes people would say something like "rough day?" presumably because I always looked like a *****. I would just ignore them as if they'd said nothing.

 

Then again, that job put me in SUCH a bad mood.

 

I remember I was being ...well, basically a demon this one time, I was SO pissed and projecting SO much anger. This one girl came up and she didn't even speak, probably because I scared the crap out of her by being so angry. I didn't even really do anything but I was just projecting anger so much that it was almost like an assault, I guess. Mind you, this was after customers had been pissing me off all day long. I didn't even look at her, but I remember her because she didn't answer me when I asked how she was nor did she speak to me. I felt kind of bad for her, but more so for myself. She walked away and probably forgot the whole incident anyway.

[Seraphim]

I never said people were dumb.

 

Generally, yes. I come off as shy.

 

You are assuming they are by saying they do not know you are angry. Believe me they know.

[cadmiumblue]

Well, people make me angry so it seems fitting they should deal with my anger.

 

Every problem in my life was caused by other people.

[cadmiumblue]

I guess they think I'm shy quiet and angry then. Whatever.

[Seraphim]

Ok. Well you feel that way and have a hard life. Toodles.

[cadmiumblue]

Thank you.

[cadmiumblue]

That doesn't even make ****ing sense. Plenty of people are angry, but they still date someone and have friends. Why are they so special that for them being angry is okay but I have to be happy all the time?

 

That sounds like bull****.

[Fudgie]

I don't know of many eternally seething people who have GOOD relationships and GOOD friends.

 

Now if you're talking about temper, sure. But temper can be controlled and it doesn't have to come out. People who are just seething on the inside, well, they are always angry and it shows and they aren't enjoyable to be around.

 

You sound seething and that's probably why people don't want to be around you in terms of friends.

[cadmiumblue]

I'm not seething.

[cadmiumblue]

When I like someone, I am pleasant for them to be around. The problem is that the people I don't like find me unpleasant. But I don't like them, so that shouldn't surprise them.

[Fudgie]

You hate people who enjoy their 20s and are happy.

 

So maybe the issue is that you hate most people so you're unpleasant to most people.

 

That sounds pretty seething to me.

[cadmiumblue]

To be honest, I don't outwardly act unpleasant, usually. I just go about my business. I don't yell or curse at people. I don't attack people or anything like that. For the most part, I act normal. To be honest, I don't really talk to people I don't know that much, and in general I really do not talk to people. I'm just not seeing the "angry" in that. How can someone who doesn't even talk to me think I'm angry?

 

For the most part I keep to myself and shut people out more than I show anger.

[Fudgie]

Shutting people out is interpreted as angry by some.

 

I think your anger is painfully obvious. Otherwise, you'd have friends. You say you act normally, but I don't buy it, because you are completely isolated and you hate people. People who are completely isolated either are that way because they want to be or because there is something really off with them.

 

What you are doing currently isn't working.