Good Move or Bad? (Ex's Parents)

[leftme]

I have a ticket next to the ex's father at the rugby, a season long one. I bought it while we were a couple.

 

Is it a wise move to use it? I did so today and felt totally okay with the situation - we get on really well... (helped by the fact I didn't dump her)

 

I don't expect it to have any effect on my ex gf or her feelings but I believe it displays my strength. Or could it be interpreted as a weakness? Clinging on?

 

I think I'd look weaker if I avoided him personally. Although you may have a different view?

 

I've gone from being co-dependant to independent and socially active in the short time we've been apart now. I don't contact my ex about 'us' at all and have never attempted to...

 

Thoughts?

 

Thank you.

[sb12]

Ouch, wow, that is a very tough question. Well...as awkward as it might be, you did buy the tickets. Maybe don't go to all the games (or hope he doesn't show up to all the games), but I would definitely say that you should attend a couple. This a sport that you presumably like. Though it will suck to have to sit next to the ex-gf's father at many of them, you don't really have to interact with him. Just enjoy yourself and the game, and then get the hell out of the stadium as soon as it's over.

[RedDress]

So... I have to ask because I just don't know... when does the rugby season start and end?

 

Generally speaking, season tickets to sports events aren't cheap. Like... in the thousands. I wouldn't expect for you to let those go to waste...

 

If there is only a month or two left in the saeson, I think you should keep going. I don't think it's weird at all. You have a relationship with her father which is separate from your relationship with her. Go for it! Just keep your discussions to sports - and not to his daughter.

 

If there is much more than that, why don't you ask him if he knows someone who would like to buy your season pass? This will give him the opportunity to find or bring a friend. Then you can get tickets with someone else...

 

To me, it depends on how much is left in the season re: whether you should ride it out or not...

[leftme]

The season will go on until May...

 

Seeing him doesn't upset me at all. Today we spoke about the game and that was it really. Didn't feel strange to talk to him and didn't set me back emotionally, I'm just worried how it comes accross.

 

My ex is seeing someone new. I just don't want to seem as though I'm clinging on to her & her family, because I'm not at all.

[RedDress]

Yeah... I'd broach the subject with him and ask him if he finds it weird or uncomfortable at all. He might be feeling the same way.

 

Another option - I know some friends who split season tickets - they each do a half-season. At the beginning of the season, they decide which games each wants to go (they look at the schedule and each take turns picking - because as we all know, some games are more valuable than others). So they each have two tickets for "their" games and are free to bring whoever they want. For playoffs, they take turns or go together.

 

Or maybe he'll tell you he doesn't find it weird at all...

 

I think it's worth a conversation.

[toby17]

Don't bother trying to look strong. That's your ego speaking and its a waste of time.

 

You could look weak not having any friends to go with. You could look like you're trying to stay in tight with the dad.

 

She's left, what she thinks doesn't matter.

 

Do what you feel like doing:

1. If you want to go to the match and dont mind sitting next to him in any particular week, go.

2. If you don't want to go, don't.

3. If you don't feel like sitting next to him, don't.

 

Plus, I can't believe the stadium is full, sit somewhere else.

 

And don't think it's awkward for him, it's not. He might like you or think you're a fine guy, but his opinion won't change his daughter's mind. He's probably seen guys come and go. And unlike you, he knows when your ex is re-dating and you don't.

 

So stop wasting your time. The best approach is complete NC with her and her family and friends.

 

(And change your username, don't let this girl or this break-up define you.)

[leftme]

I don't want to change her mind, maybe swap look strong to look mature. I have a season ticket for my seat in the stadium, which is next to him, the question is do I use it...?

 

1) I either use it...

2) or make an excuse each week...

3) or say I can't sit next to him any longer...

[T99]

Hi left me, that is a tough situation. I actually admire your potential strength to keep going and enjoy the things you like. I think however you have got to put yourself first, you are asking for advice on what it looks like to the ex, of course u would, but I think u need to ask yourself if going to the game is making YOU feel better or not.

 

I don't believe it shows u are clinging on, quite the opposite and quite mature of u. But u have just got to think about how it is impacting your emotions and your emotions only in my opinion. And if you continue going, without doubt keep the topic of conversation to the game only !

[leftme]

I would say it had no positive or negative effect on my state of mind.

 

The way I see it is, she has no interest in me, therefore, she should have no impact on me and the way I live my life. I'm going about my life as planned and not letting her new feelings towards me change my route. I think it shows maturity, I just feared it may show something different.

 

I think through the fact I've made no attempt to reconcile at all and I'm going to the games I don't look desperate. Had I been begging her and going with him and asking about her... I'd be looking desperate.