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About T99

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  1. I think this is a very typical communication issue. When you vent he heads a problem he needs to solve for you - when you need comfort and empathy. It would help if you told him you don’t need him to solve the issue, but just to listen and lend a shoulder. His intentions are probably good as wants to help - but helping in wrong way. As for brining it up later that’s a little more harsh and I would say more difficult to correct this behaviour.
  2. Here is a suggested start point, have told HIM this directly, and along the lines that it is causing you to be unhappy: I want more laughter, more conversational flow, more joy and playfulness
  3. Hi Limiya I remember your posts from many years ago. Not sure what further to add but hope you are ok and this sounds very difficult set of circumstances.
  4. I think this is a really typical conflict you are seeing here. He is focused on improving his situation, and will feel with improvement of his career / qualifications he will ultimately be improving your prospects as a couple / your future / quality of life, even himself as a ‘catch’ in your eyes. It’s a goal driven mentality and by reaching out for attention at this time it can feel distracting / to the detriment of achieving the goal. Typical reaction to that stress is to turn off form it / go into his shell. Just as typical is your need for more quality time / connection which is also
  5. 2 years ago everyone above told me not to go to this meeting, but I did, we got back together for a further 2 years or so but it happened again in May this year. I tried doubly hard to make it work - and that seemed to make it worse. The last 4/5months I’ve sat at home in the lockdown on my own trying to get over the shock of it (literally days before she told me how much she loved me and missed me when I was not with her). I’ve not pursued once or really heard much. The advice was correct but it was so hard not to go and meet up with someone you love. Lesson learned I guess. It was he
  6. Thank you all for your replies / advice
  7. Lol thank you all, fairly unanimous response! I think I would reconcile I guess, but feels a long time now. Yes I’ve been healing but this msg has also been accompanied by more general messages, and I can’t but help feel that’s has made me feel better, whiich of course is false. My take on it was perhaps she had some doubts and was wondering what she would feel if she saw me again. Perhaps hopeful thinking but I could imagine her relying on the feelings at a particular moment. Perhaps there was outside involvement and grass is not greener type of thing? I’m not sure what sh
  8. After 3 months of very little contact, I received a request to meet from ex g/f with following message: “It’s selfish on my behalf to want to see you I know.... because I ended it. But I can’t help it. Although it came from me I’ve been feeling it too. I also feel that I’ve managed to get more clarity in my thoughts. I’m not saying it’s makes a difference to our situation and tbh I wouldnt meet if either of us were thinking we would get back together but I’d like to be able to talk about it with you and see you. It’s up to you if you want that, it may just hurt us both more.” She also sa
  9. Can relate to your feelings luv the sun - it must of been so hard to have seen that - take steps to never see more like it. Take care of yourself as best as you can - the pain is terrible I know. Just know it is not a reflection on who you are.
  10. It depends, if he goes to a lot of your friends, family events and you have ruled out quickly going to something linked on his side - i would find that a bit unbalanced and I think that is why he has reacted like that. Having said that his follow up is quite immature but probably trying to make a point.
  11. I think it’s sensible that whilst you are still attracted you are looking at these things in the context of the long term before things get deeper. Looking at your list number 1 is certainly an issue, 2 and 3 are more personal preference and I think some people could quite easily see this as a positive, 4 I can relate to in my previous relationship but did take the view I was Being mean and ploughed forwards with disastrous consequences long term. Overall - I would still suggest you gently tell him a few things first, that you are used to more independent people that might challenge yo
  12. Tell him how it makes you feel!
  13. What minuscule reasons did people get? A few i had: 'your too healthy' and I spend too much time entertaining the children at family get together's... lol
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