akward situations

[mycrazymind]

a while ago i started hanging out with a girl i work with. it started out as friends but eventually we started to develop feelings for each other. she didnt want a serious relationship because she was still dealing with an ex boyfriend and wanted that cleared up before she got into anything new. I was ok with it and we left it at "kissing friends". We would kiss and stay the night with each other (esp if we were drunk) but no sex(too keep from getting too attached). one day while hanging about, she told me about a guy she was with 2 weeks prior and how she felt like she had cheated on me in a way. Although it wasnt cheating because we werent in a serious relationship, she felt bad because she went to him to feel loved and wanted, when she knew she should have come to me (her words). I wasnt upset, but touched. later that day she told me how although she couldnt offer a relationship at the time, she did promise that there wouldnt be anyone esle but me, and we ended up sleeping with each other. things were fine for the next week, and we slept with each other again. After that we both agreed that things were getting too serious for friends and decided to back down. now we havent talked since then (only at work, but its usually work related) and its feels like the friendship is gone completely. i want to talk to her about it, but things already feel akward, esp at work. should i call her and just tell her how i feel, or just get over her and let it be..? im not looking to get things back to kissing and what not, just want to be her friend again, if she still wants too....

[pineapplegirl]

You sound like a good guy, and you also sound VERY forgiving.

-tell her all you want to be is friends

-give her time to understand what that means

-realize that you are probably to good to have her as your girlfriend since she doesn't seem to know how to treat you nicely

-find someone who will treat you the way you treat her

[Day_Walker]

Get over her and let her be, she has backed off there is no use in making an effort with somebody that doesnt want the same thing in return.

[mycrazymind]

yeah i guess i should just get over it. i never expected to be friends with her in the first place. ill just go to work, make nice work conversation and leave it at that. i was fine with backing down after i realized i was developing feelings for her, but knew a serious relationship wasnt possible at the time. i knew it wasnt fair for me to be involved in something like that. as for finding someone else....i wish it was that easy

 

thanks for the replys

[tiger_lilies]

Wow. If only the guy I'm dating would be like you, I'd be really happy.

I'm sort of going through a similar situation.

 

I think that the reason she doesn't want a serious relationship with you is because she:

A) Doesn't like you that way

B) Wants this opportunity to be single and not feel guilty about flirting with other guys (my honest opinion because I also feel this way)

C) You've made effort to be with her and that in turn, is very flattering for any girl to have so much attention.

 

I say the above because I also want to be single and date (not sleep with) a varity of men to see "who else is out there". It's a new found freedom that I personally, haven't experienced in a long time and it's so refreashing to be able to do what you want and not have to think of someone else's feelings.

 

Obviously I suggest that you should talk to her about how you feel. However, brace yourself for rejection since she has been honest about where she stands from the beginning.