Ex posts negative comments on FB. Has this happened to you?

[Maroon]

Hi everyone! Your own experience will be much appreciated on this one.

 

My ex and I have broken up months ago. She was the dumper. There was no cheating or infidelity involved. Main reason was jealousy.

 

After the break up, my ex repeatedly posted status updates on her Facebook page that are clearly negative comments about me. I never responded to these negative commentary. I have blocked her on Facebook, and it appears the negative comments have stopped.

 

Have you experienced something similar?

[camus154]

Stop checking up on what your ex is doing on FB and you won't have this problem.

 

See how easy that is?

[Abigaelle]

I agree with Camus.

 

Just ignore her. Let her say whatever she wants to say.

At this point, it should matter to you.. seriously.

[Maroon]

Stop checking up on what your ex is doing on FB and you won't have this problem.

 

See how easy that is?

 

Agree.

 

At first, I didn't mind the negative comments. But eventually, I just decided to block her from my Facebook account.

[camus154]

Blocking was a wise idea.

[RedDress]

I have some people on my friends list who do this (about someone they just broke up with). Honestly? It never makes me think poorly of the ex... rather, it makes me think poorly of them.

 

It's never as thinly veiled as they think...

[Maroon]

I have some people on my friends list who do this (about someone they just broke up with). Honestly? It never makes me think poorly of the ex... rather, it makes me think poorly of them.

 

It's never as thinly veiled as they think...

 

Thanks for the insight, RedDress.

 

Initially, I didn't mind the negative status updates. Blocking her was a good decision. However, I was a bit concerned because we have close to 50 mutual friends on Facebook who might believe all the negative publicity she posted online. Oh well, break ups are tough with Facebook it seems.

[markie6]

They will only post if there is an audience and somebody to torment. Now it's very easy to block them , but then you also have the mutual friends to deal with , so you block them too. Then of course there's loads of your aqauintences who you hardly know and you end up removing them too so they don't ask questions.

 

In the end your left with 10 people you know and trust , but what's the point.

 

I deactivated 6 weeks post breakup and haven't gone back yet. It's much nicer to not have to deal with any potential issues of documenting my so called life online and then broadcasting the eventual demise of the relationship.

 

People who dont like it or use it much won't see it as a real problem. Those who like it , will understand. All I learned was to never add somebody who you don't want knowing everything about you.

 

Makes life easier for a while to just not look but for some it can make them feel isolated.

 

Always block them on day 1

[Minx2012]

No, it has never happened to me bc the minute I dumped them or they dumped me, ALL means of communication stopped :

 

1. I cut them off from any page on social media networking ( FB )

2. I delete their numbers from my phone and put blocking up.

3. I delete their e-mail addresses from my mail and put blocking up.

4. I warn all mutual friends to NOT utter names at all and to keep MY life extremely private.

5. I also warn the exes : " You will be cut off. Do not attempt to contact me ".

6. Their relatives are also cut off. I of course explain the situation well and then apologise profusely but I always tell them the truth : I need to heal. They are usually / mostly understanding.

 

TOTAL NC. So, no, I don't see any ridiculous comments or hear of anything about my exes once the words, " I want to break up " are uttered.

[RedDress]

However, I was a bit concerned because we have close to 50 mutual friends on Facebook who might believe all the negative publicity she posted online.

 

Nah... don't worry about it.

 

When people break up, sometimes there are bad feelings. The bitter one sees things in a very skewed light and often they are trying to "get back at" the other person for whatever reason. It's all hooey... because you know if they get back together, the (formerly) bitter one always says "well... it's not actually that bad. I was just mad".

 

I'd never, ever take a recent ex's word on the character of a person. Ever. Unless what they have to say is flattering (in which case it gets extra weight).

 

You'd have to be pretty naive and easily led to believe that stuff. Not to mention not having a mind of your own...

 

I don't think it's any different than in person. That type of thing was quite common in high school (in my time, before Facebook).

 

Always take the word of a person scorned with a grain of salt...

[Maroon]

Thanks Markie!

 

I actually deactivated my Facebook page a week after the ex dumped me. It's strange because she got upset with me for deactivating. Anyways, I ended up reactivating and just blocking her months after.

[Maroon]

That's great Minx!

 

I admire your discipline and total commitment to NC. I will try and do the same. Thanks!

[markie6]

No worries , had 70 mutual friends. So didn't want to have to del with the crap either. As reddress said its like being at school. I wrote a thread about potential problems of social media t breakup time , view it via my started threads list on my profile. It will probably give you a laugh and ring true.

[Maroon]

Totally agree with you, RedDress. Very well said.

 

I remember a line in the movie "The Social Network". It goes like, "The Internet is written in ink, not in pencil..." Hopefully, exes won't use Facebook to criticize their former partners. Hopefully.

[Angel Irulan]

Before Facebook I had an ex love interest who told everyone we were sleeping together, while he privately told me he did not want to go out with me. And we'd never even been out on a date. He was a liar and a braggart.

I've had other negative experiences with guys. This type of behavior isn't gender specific! If a person is a liar, they're a liar. That type of lying about your ex thing catches up with you. Aggressive behavior isn't pretty, or nice, and you can't turn around and tell people, "yes, we're broken up and it was a mutual decision." IMHO, this is honestly the wisest thing to say, even if you don't feel it. It takes two people to make a couple and if one person bails the other just has to live with it!

 

Angel

[Sportster2005]

Now that's the way to do it !!!!!

[TheNewGuy]

I have my X on my FB because we share pics of our son occasionally. She posted the other night after I had posted something about change(,which was a post directed to myself,) about how some people need to grow up. I was sorta like ***. So yeah I asked about it. She said something about "a lot of people needing to grow up," but never specifically said it was meant for me. She also mentioned that she doesn't care about my post and made it sound like she didn't really care about me either. Then mentioned that she thought it was funny that I post a lot of stuff on FB now, when I never did before. Then later on in the convo she again mentioned that she thought it was weird that I post things about my life on there. She also told people I was the first to change my FB to single when I know for a fact she did. I was logged on when it happened. Idk what all that means, but it's crazy lol.