leftme Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 4 years together. 31 Days post break-up. 15 Days no contact. Not begged at all (we talked about logistics briefly). I became, insecure, needy and boring. She met someone else and moved on for the 'spark' of a new relationship (i never treated her badly). We have a flat and car together so need to sort these matters out. She suggested meeting but never got back to me after I agreed. I don't want her back, not now. I couldn't trust her and we both need to shag about (you know what I mean). I'm going to ask if she's free tonight to get things sorted out - flat & car. What do you think? Link to comment
DN Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Don't use the flat and car as an excuse to talk when you are emotional. If you have to meet to sort those things out set a date a few days in advance so you can approach it on a purely business basis. Do you actually have to meet in person to sort these things out? Link to comment
leftme Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 Don't use the flat and car as an excuse to talk when you are emotional. If you have to meet to sort those things out set a date a few days in advance so you can approach it on a purely business basis. Do you actually have to meet in person to sort these things out? We don't have to. But I feel after 4 years we should be able to do it amicably. What would you suggest? Link to comment
DN Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I would do it in a dry, polite, professional manner without personal contact. No point meeting her, it will not change anything and will make you feel bad. Link to comment
bw92116 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 If you absolutely have to meet in person, meet in a public place such as a coffee house or whatever. Then things will remain more formal and businesslike. Link to comment
cupcake22 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 We make up excuses just to talk to them...hate it! Link to comment
bw92116 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I know how that goes... just today I was contemplating making an apology for something I did 2 years ago... but it's just an excuse to talk to them again... Link to comment
leftme Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 You'll be glad to hear I decided against it. I just think we should be adults and communicate. Although since I agreed to her suggestion of meeting I guess it's down to her and I'm doing the right thing. Link to comment
DN Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 It has nothing to do with being an adult and all to do with not causing yourself unnecessary hurt. Link to comment
Heartbroken17 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 When my 4.5 year relationship (lived together for four years) ended 3 months ago I decided early on I wanted minimal contact, I needed my stuff back, but didn't want to be around him or the house we lived in. So I emailed him with a list of things I wanted/didn't want, had boxes and tape delivered to the house and sent a man and van over to pick them up and bring my stuff to me and my new home. And I'm so glad I did - anything else would have been too painful and it would have taken me longer to heal. Link to comment
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