Some positive thoughts for the dumpees

[PrettyGood]

I can't believe I was so blind. I was dating so many guys recently during those years and most of them dumped me or I dumped them. I have only one common thing with all of the rest ENA users here: I was doing the same mistakes over and over again. I begged the dumpers, I tried to change myself, I broke contact many times, I had no self-confidence, I stayed when I had to leave, I always wanted to get my exes back, I was checking their profiles and feeling so desperate.

 

Nothing changed till one day my grandmother died. This tragic event happened when I was in the other side of the world so I couldn't attend her funeral. The only thing I promised her that I will find the Right guy and I will be happy just like she always wanted. I never knew how to do good things for myself so at least I got the goal to create a good life because I promised her. And I'm keeping my promise. The days went by and I met several more guys. They were Wrong guys for me, but I kept strong - I didn't contact them, I didn't chase them, I didn't beg, I removed them from my life because now my goal was to give only 1 chance per person. So I blocked my all exes, I don't know about them and after almost 1 month I feel much better. Not the best way I could feel but I feel much better. I don't want to hear from them or know about them. I feel my self-confidence returned, I learned how to say "No, thanks" for the wrong guys when they suggest to meet for a cup of coffee and finally I started enjoying my Single time! My time!

 

Being single has a lot of advantages: you don't need to buy birthday presents, you can travel abroad without asking for permission, you can go partying till the late night with your friends and you don't worry that someone will tell you a long moral after that, you can leave your mobile phone in a public place and you know that no-one will read your messages secretly and you can have the most delicious little desserts in your fridge and be sure that no-one will eat them while you are out, moreover, you don't need to make food for 2 in the big oily baking pans... now you can spend the highest quality time for yourself only and it's totally positive thing! I just feel so sorry for all of those people who are dumped and they can't look forward. They are looking back hoping that the dumper will get back with them. What for? There is a nicer world without them too and it's not that scary as it seemed. You will not stay single for the rest of your life!

[nutbrownhare]

Glad to hear you're happy being single, glad that you have made such a positive change in the face of a tragedy, and very sorry to hear about your grandmother.

 

However, I'd also make the following observations... even if you're single, aren't there people you'd wish to buy birthday presents for? Hope so! And remember that in a healthy relationship you can travel abroad without 'permission' - though you'd discuss it first, same as you would with any close friend; that in a healthy relationship your partner will trust you enough not to give you a long 'moral' afterwards when you go out with your friends; that in a healthy relationship your partner wouldn't dream of reading your messages - any more than you'd dream of reading theirs; that in a healthy relationship your partner wouldn't be taking your treats away from you.

 

The choice is not quite as stark as being single, or putting up with a load of ****. And everyone needs to remember that they are worthy of the very best life has to offer!

[nekoxchaos]

Amen sister , I feel society has forced us that we aren't happy or something is wrong with us if we are single

 

If rather be happy and single then be with the wrong guy. People should be happy regardless of a relationship status and there's a person and time for something special to happen we can not sit back and wait for a knight in shining armor

 

There's all sorts of love, like for your family ,friends ,pet or career etc but most important is self love forget all the haters ;P

 

I also want to be more self reliant it wasn't fun being so dependent and clingy , not fun for me and kinda not fair for the other person