EQIQ Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 You need to make known that you have needs. Sex is pretty much a need same as sleep, food, water, some level of recreation, etc. If she doesn't fill this need, you will have it met elsewhere, or will be forced to leave her to have it met. That is the plain truth. You don't want to live your life out like this man... that is worse than hell fire... and I don't even believe in hell. Well now I do.. this is hell. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 That's really extreme feminism. Well, if she thinks sex with you is dirty, you are either going to have to have an affair, or leave her. I reccommend the latter. Also, if all her sisters think that sex is dirty that sets off abuse alarm bells for me. I agree. That sounds extremely extreme. Her sister sound like something has happened to them and could have happened to her too. Link to comment
mike2090 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 I agree. That sounds extremely extreme. Her sister sound like something has happened to them and could have happened to her too. No history of abuse whatsoever, it's just some twisted ideology thing like religion. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 If that is what she believes than it is going to be hard to get around that. It sounds really bizarre almost cult like though. Link to comment
EQIQ Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 My question is this... why did you get married to her in the first place if you knew about this stuff, and you knew that you have a higher sex drive? Did you think you could change her??? .... Trying to change people doesn't work... Link to comment
regular joe Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Has this always been the routine or when you dating first married was the sex more frequent? Link to comment
mike2090 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 If that is what she believes than it is going to be hard to get around that. It sounds really bizarre almost cult like though. No this is not a bizarre cult. Go to any feminist forum or feminist facebook group and you will see the same stupid message ''men are pigs and sex is a form of patriarchal degradation against women'' Anyway, I'm in this swamp now and I don't know how to get out and find my way again. Link to comment
DN Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 You said that other than the sex life things are 'harmonic' but if she is that easily influenced by her sisters doesn't their feminist views impact on the rest of the relationship? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 No this is not a bizarre cult. Go to any feminist forum or feminist facebook group and you will see the same stupid message ''men are pigs and sex is a form of patriarchal degradation against women'' Anyway, I'm in this swamp now and I don't know how to get out and find my way again. This isn't any feminism I know. And it isn't anything I recognise in any of the feminist women I know either. This is extreme and somewhat troubling. Was she like this prior to marriage? Link to comment
DN Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Well, to be fair to the OP, these are some quotes a Google search found, which seem to support his case. If her sisters believe these assertions, it could easily have influenced his wife: [TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD][/TD] [TD][/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] "As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women...he can sexually molest his daughters... THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE." Marilyn French (her emphasis) "All men are rapists and that's all they are." Marilyn French, Author; (later, advisor to Al Gore's Presidential Campaign.) "All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman." Catherine MacKinnon "I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He's just incapable of it." Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan. "Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience." Catherine Comin, Vassar College. Assistant Dean of Students. "Men renounce whatever they have in common with women so as to experience no commonality with women; and what is left...is one piece of flesh a few inches long, the penis. The penis is the man; the man is human; the penis signifies humanity." Andrea Dworkin "Men's sexuality is mean and violent, and men so powerful that they can 'reach WITHIN women to ****/construct us from the inside out.' Satan-like, men possess women, making their wicked fantasies and desires women's own. A woman who has sex with a man, therefore, does so against her will, 'even if she does not feel forced.' Judith Levine, 'To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he's a machine, a walking dildo." Scum Manifesto. (Valerie Solanas) "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness...can be trained to do most things." Jilly Cooper, SCUM (Society For Cutting Up Men.) "Women have their faults / men have only two: / everything they say / everything they do." Popular Feminist Graffiti "I feel what they feel: man-hating, that volatile admixture of pity, contempt, disgust, envy, alienation, fear, and rage at men. It is hatred not only for the anonymous man who makes sucking noises on the street, not only for the rapist or the judge who acquits him, but for what the Greeks called philo-aphilos, 'hate in love,' for the men women share their lives with--husbands, lovers, friends, fathers, brothers, sons, coworkers." Judith Levine, My Enemy, My love "All men are good for is ******, and running over with a truck". Statement made by A University of Maine Feminist Administrator, quoted by Richard Dinsmore, who brought a successful civil suit against the University in the amount of $600,000. Richard had protested the quote; was dismissed thereafter on the grounds of harassment; and responded by bringing suit against the University. 1995 settlement. "I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig." Andrea Dworkin; from her book Ice and Fire . Catharine MacKinnon ( ) maintains that "the private is a sphere of battery, marital rape and women's exploited labor." In this way, privacy and family are reduced to nothing more than aspects of the master plan, which is male domination. Democratic freedoms and the need to keep the state's nose out of our personal affairs are rendered meaningless. The real reason our society cherishes privacy is because men have invented it as an excuse to conceal their criminality. If people still insist that the traditional family is about love and mutual aid--ideals which, admittedly, are sometimes betrayed--they're "hiding from the truth." The family isn't a place where battery and marital rape sometimes happen but where little else apparently does. Sick men don't simply molest their daughters, they operate in league with their wives to "breed" them for that purpose. Donna Laframboise; The Princess at the Window; (in a critical explication of the Catharine MacKinnon, Gloria Steinhem et al tenets of misandric belief.) "I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them." Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor. "I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire." Robin Morgan "Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies." Andrea Dworkin "In a patriarchal society, all heterosexual intercourse is rape because women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent." Catharine MacKinnon, quoted in Professing Feminism: Cautionary Tales from the Strange World of Women's Studies. "And if the professional rapist is to be separated from the average dominant heterosexual (male), it may be mainly a quantitative difference." Susan Griffin, Rape: The All-American Crime. "The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist". Ti-Grace Atkinson, Amazon Odyssey (p. 86). "(Rape) is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear". Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will p.6. "When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression..." Sheila Jeffrys. From 'A feminist Dictionary; ed. Kramarae and Triechler, Pandora Press, 1985: MALE a variant of or deviation from the category of female. The first males were mutants...the male sex represents a degeneration and deformity of the female. MAN obsolete life form... an ordinary creature who needs to be watched...a contradictory baby-man... "Men, as a group, tend to be abusive, either verbally, sexually or emotionally. There are always the exceptions, but they are few and far between (I am married to one of them). There are different levels of violence and abuse and individual men buy into this system by varying degrees. But the male power structure always remains intact." M: "Considering the nature and pervasiveness of men's violence, I would say that without question, children are better off being raised without the presence of men. Assaults on women and children are mostly perpetrated by men whom they are supposed to love and trust: fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, step-fathers." Both quotes taken from Daphne Patai's excellent critical work, Link to comment
EQIQ Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Okay.. that is some messed up stuff right there... Tell me where these women are, and I will run the other way........ Sexually frustrated much?? By the way. Do they hate all of humanity? Because I mean... there would be no women alive if men didn't exist, intercourse didn't exist.. etc. ....... OP if your wife, or her sisters are like that I would go to sleep with some sort of protection for your privates lol. A lot more to worry about than just sex.... Link to comment
DN Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Look, these quotes don't represent all feminists, let alone all women, they are a tiny minority. But some of them are prominent and their ideas are in circulation. Some women may be influenced by them, and it may be the OP's wife and sisters are among them. Let's not turn this into a debate about extreme feminism, I just wanted to point out that these opinions are out there. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 No this is not a bizarre cult. Go to any feminist forum or feminist facebook group and you will see the same stupid message ''men are pigs and sex is a form of patriarchal degradation against women'' Anyway, I'm in this swamp now and I don't know how to get out and find my way again. I am not a feminist so I would not even go to look.....lol. Link to comment
PetiteGirl Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I find it uncomfortable how a number of posters here jumped straight to "divorce" as a solution instead of offering constructive advice to the OP. A few possibilities... - Assuming there may be emotional disconnection that caused the decreased of physical intimacy. In this case the best way is to communicate, find out how she feels about being intimate with you. Is there something that is bothering her or something you guys need to work on? Try to understand her point of view. From my personal experience usually when the woman is frigid, there may be an underlining emotional disconnection. - Dryness and smell: dryness of the vagina may indicate hormonal in-balance, which could kill sex drive. This could be due to medical problems, stress, nutritional problems. During sex, dryness could cause pain and discomfort for the woman, which makes it not fun at all. Smell, on the other hand, may indicate infections. Infection could cause painful sex. She needs to go see a doctor because this may be a serious medical issue. Is she on medication or birth control pill? Those may cause hormonal in-balance and increase the chances of certain infections. To me it sounds like a combination of issues that is causing a disconnection between you and your wife. I think her being frigid may indicate a deeper problem that you guys need to work on. Link to comment
DN Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 The reason that I suggest divorce is because she is unwilling to do anything to solve the problem. If she were that would be very different. Whatever the reason for this she should recognise that a good marriage includes sex and that if she has a problem it is up to her to do something about it. The OP should not have to live in a virtually sexless marriage while his wife does nothing to address the issue. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Mod Note: Please keep posts on topic and specific to the OP's question Link to comment
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