Would you date someone with a fever sore?

[epsilon2x]

I went out with this gorgeous girl the other day and saw that she had a decent size fever sore below her lip. I'm lucky that I'm still clean of all STDs/fever sores and I'm not sure if I want to take the chance of seeing her more because of it. It would only take one slip up to contract the virus and I'd feel like a complete fool if she had an outbreak that I didn't see or she didn't know was coming and she ended up transferring it my mouth or genitals. Am I being to harsh?

 

Has anyone ever dated a girl/guy with fever sores and successfully not contracted them?

[pl3asehelp]

It's your body, no I don't think you're harsh for not wanting to risk getting a permanent disease. I wouldn't.

[epsilon2x]

It's your body, no I don't think you're harsh for not wanting to risk getting a permanent disease. I wouldn't.

 

Thanks, normally I wouldn't have even ponder this question. This girl is just absolutely gorgeous and I'm having to fight my testosterone levels right now.

[Angler]

It's herpes, that #### is permanent.

 

I would never date someone with a visible sore and/or I know gets sores.

[pl3asehelp]

Thanks, normally I wouldn't have even ponder this question. This girl is just absolutely gorgeous and I'm having to fight my testosterone levels right now.

 

Someone with herpes or HPV will be along soon to tell you how common it is though. Still not something I'd want for life. There are lots of gorgeous girls.

[LoveHurts89]

I'm guessing you're all American? Or Canadian? Not that that's a bad thing, but from these boards, I've seen that a cold sore is such a huge issue in America / Canada.

 

Just because somebody has coldsores does not mean they have genital herpes.

 

Cold sores are really very common in the UK and are not frowned upon or thought of any differently to a cough or cold.

[trickykid]

I'm guessing you're all American? Or Canadian? Not that that's a bad thing, but from these boards, I've seen that a cold sore is such a huge issue in America / Canada.

 

Just because somebody has coldsores does not mean they have genital herpes.

 

Cold sores are really very common in the UK and are not frowned upon or thought of any differently to a cough or cold.

 

Yeah I was just thinking the same, in from Ireland, its the same here, I know loads of people gets them sometimes, mainly in winter, I dont get them myself, my girlfriend had one before and I still didnt get one.

[ToF]

Someone with herpes or HPV will be along soon to tell you how common it is though. Still not something I'd want for life. There are lots of gorgeous girls.

 

Yep, here I am!

 

It's very common. But I don't blame you for not wanting to catch it. If you see her as worth passing up, then do so. If not, there ARE ways to work around cold sores. I've had them my entire life, and have never had an issue with any of my partners.

[epsilon2x]

Yep, here I am!

 

It's very common. But I don't blame you for not wanting to catch it. If you see her as worth passing up, then do so. If not, there ARE ways to work around cold sores. I've had them my entire life, and have never had an issue with any of my partners.

 

I've read articles supporting both sides. Some say that you can't transfer it when you don't have an outbreak and others say that you can transfer it at any time. Have you ever transferred it to your partner either through kissing or oral sex? Sorry if that's too personal of a question to ask.

[epsilon2x]

Just because somebody has coldsores does not mean they have genital herpes.

 

I know this.

 

Cold sores are called Herpes Simplex Virus 1.

 

Genital herpes are called Herpes Simplex Virus 2.

 

You need to re read my post. It's common knowledge that hsv 1 can be spread to the genitals through oral sex. Even if it's on the genitals, it's still hsv 1. Just like you can get hsv 2 (genital herpes) on the face.

[ToF]

You can easily transfer it during a visible outbreak (via kissing, sharing cups, etc.) ... But you can also transfer it when you are "shedding" the virus, which is not always visible or even noticeable by the person who's shedding. So, theoretically, you can transfer it just about any time, depending on how often you have visible outbreaks and shed. It is my understanding (from what my doctor told me) that shedding occurs only several times per year. Personally, I rarely have visible outbreaks since I started taking L-Lysine supplements.

 

To my knowledge, I have never transferred the virus to anyone. Last I read, though, about 80% of the population tests positive for the virus whether they've had outbreaks or not.

 

EDIT:

I have disclosed the fact that I have the virus, with every partner I've had. I've also had STD tests (for both of us) with each new partner. I'm very careful with this kind of thing.

[LMJ]

I think you have a right to decide. Also the other party has the obligation to disclose it. Ive known people who brush it off and act like its not a big deal. Well it is. One dude friend who dated gals without disclosing it. Thats on the wrong side of the moral compass in my opinion and only a loser would do that. I wouldnt want the sores anywhere

[gtnovru]

If you're looking for a short-term relationship/fling, it's definitely not worth it, obviously. She's carrying either HSV 1 (oral) or HSV 2 (genital) or both, and they are essentially the same thing, although HSV 2 is considered an STD when HSV 1 is not. But either way, and especially since she's having outbreaks, you could definitely get it if you became involved with her.

 

If you see a long-term relationship with this girl, if she ends up being the love of your life, would getting herpes be worth it? Herpes is manageable and you guys can both take medication to prevent spreading to you and to prevent outbreaks.

 

But you just have to decide if you want or see a future with her and don't have physical contact until you've fallen for her and determine it's worth the risk, and she needs to get a medication right away, if she's not already.

[In a Pickle]

I was with my ex-wife for over 21years, and I have cold-sores, and she still doesn't have them, we have been divorced for 6 years now, we were just very careful. If I felt the tingle, I would tell her and we wouldn't kiss, or I wouldn't give her oral stimulation. Once it was cleared(Completely cleared) I would make up for the oral then and we could kiss again.

 

Just be careful, you can avoid getting them if your partner is totally honest with you.

[Seraphim]

80% of people have Herpes 1. Many also get it as children being kissed by parents or other relatives. I would not think someone "untouchable" because of a cold sore.I think it is ridiculous.

[gtnovru]

But HSV 1 on the mouth can get on the genitals through oral sex, that's the concern.

[Angler]

80% of people have Herpes 1. Many also get it as children being kissed by parents or other relatives. I would not think someone "untouchable" because of a cold sore.I think it is ridiculous.

 

Why is it ridiculous to make decisions to protect one's health?

 

I know it's not life threatening, and in the grand scheme of things it's a minor nuisance, but I'd like to keep my seat at the 20% table, please!

[pl3asehelp]

Why is it ridiculous to make decisions to protect one's health?

 

I know it's not life threatening, and in the grand scheme of things it's a minor nuisance, but I'd like to keep my seat at the 20% table, please!

 

It's not ridiculous.

[Seraphim]

My bet is that since 80% of people have it you all have kissed someone with it.

[charity]

My bet is that since 80% of people have it you all have kissed someone with it.

 

agreed! my 5 year old son has one at this very moment. its small but its there.. i've never had one in my life. he's got his first one when he was under 2. i'm sure i probably have it although i never have shown a symptom.

[pl3asehelp]

My bet is that since 80% of people have it you all have kissed someone with it.

 

And they hid the fact and decided to infect us without our consent?

[Seraphim]

How would I know. I don't have it. But I do not think people are lepers if they do.

[epsilon2x]

But HSV 1 on the mouth can get on the genitals through oral sex, that's the concern.

 

Yes, that's my main concern. Even if I only contracted in on my mouth. I'll forever have to be worried about giving it to the next girl I'm with who can spread it my genitals.

 

My bet is that since 80% of people have it you all have kissed someone with it.

 

I'm sure, I have kissed someone with it. But I've never dated anyone who's ever had an outbreak. I've had a full STD screen before where they checked for herpes, HIV, gonnorhea, clamydia etc.. whenever I'm at the doctor for an unrelated reason, I just get the test since I'm not captain-safe when I have sex. I've always been clean but I'm not sure if the herpes test actually tests for hsv-1 also. I know for a fact that I've never made out with a girl while she's had an outbreak tho.

[Sportster2005]

I'm guessing you're all American? Or Canadian? Not that that's a bad thing, but from these boards, I've seen that a cold sore is such a huge issue in America / Canada.

 

Just because somebody has coldsores does not mean they have genital herpes.

 

Cold sores are really very common in the UK and are not frowned upon or thought of any differently to a cough or cold.

 

I'm from Canada. I don't know of anybody that cares about cold sores. To each their own.

[ToF]

Why is it ridiculous to make decisions to protect one's health?

 

I know it's not life threatening, and in the grand scheme of things it's a minor nuisance, but I'd like to keep my seat at the 20% table, please!

 

You've every right to do that! There's no reason you shouldn't look after your health. Just know that, in doing so, you are excluding 80% of the population from your potential future partners.

 

Just make sure you and your partner get tested before you start having sex. And if you REALLY want to be careful, ask if they've ever had a cold sore, before you kiss them.