Did she cheat on me and leave me for someone else?

[TopFive]

It's been a lil over a month since my breakup and I still have it in my mind that my ex cheated on me. My friends and my sister told me that there was probably someone else in the picture the whole time. I even googles "How to tell a woman is cheating". So instead of me calling or texting her I'm going to tell you some things that made me assume. Heres the timeline before the breakup.

 

Mid-End of April:

Started arguing more

Says she'd not fully happy

Brings up an old "friend" name "Shef" who now lives in Texas. Even gave a full story on him.

Starts asking if I think the relationship will work because I am only home on holidays and summer time.

All of a sudden goes home every weekend from her college.

 

May:

We would argue and wouldn't talk for hours and then she would call me at night like nothing happened saying that she misses me and she doesn't now why we argue so much.

I come home from school.

She seems different and distant, but it seemed like she missed me.

I began confront her about how she was acting.

She tell me one night that I don't make her feel special,I annoy her and she doesnt know why, I don't make her feel like a girl, I act like a girl and I don't "wow" her. She told me she was telling her friend "Shef" this.

Next day she says she needs a day or two of space.

I get drunk. Express my feelings on Twitter and she dumps me.

We get back together a couple days later and have sex, but I feel like it was out of guilt for something

 

June:

We stop having as much sex. She was on her period and blah, blah, blah.

I throw hints at her that I think she was cheating. She denys it and says she's a good girl to me and if there was someone else she'd tell me.

I drunk dial her and say mean things. She breaks up with me again and say she cant take the way i was acting

We get back together only to break up again a week later.

We get back together AGAIN, but we barely have sex and it seems like i'm just there to take her out to the movies, out for dinner, and the boardwalk. And work when she finally got a job.

 

July:

We argue still and I breakup with her during a bad storm and after a week of trying to reconcile she ends it for good. Told me relationships shouldn't be so stressful, she's not satisfied and she doesn't feel the same way she did months before.

 

 

Now I know i had my part in the breakup with my drunk dials, my inability to control my emotions at times and my accusations, but I really believe this girl did something. It's over, but I want to know the truth and i cant talk to her. What do you guys think? Think she physically cheated?

[Pleasedonot5]

From what you have described, it was the way you were acting that drove her away. It's not necessarily that she is cheating on you with someone else, it's that your behavior has caused her to lose interest in you, and maybe she has her eyes on someone else, but ths normal and both of you two can't directly control that. Sounds like she checked-out of this relationship and was holding on for fear of losing you, but finally came to her senses that things weren't working out between you two. She tried to make things work for a few months but realized that you guys were running into the same problems again and again.

 

Was she interested in another guy? Maybe. Is that the sole reason she broke it off with you? Most likely not. Did she cheat? Doesn't sound like it. I think it was what she described: you didn't make her feel special, your behaviors annoyed her, you said mean things when you were drunk, the relationship was stressful and hard for her, and on top of that you broke up with her the last time (because you weren't getting sex right away). That last reason was probably the getaway ticket that she needed to avoid the guilt of not being with you, because, instead, this time you didn't want to be with her.

 

I think you need to take this time to self-reflect and improve yourself. Try to work on your dependence on alcohol when you are upset. Instead, meditate, write your issues down, or have some ice cream or something. Obviously, you get a little crazy and mean when you're drunk, so try to fix that. The next time you are angry, you should sit aside for a little while and think before you act, because it seems like your mind is often clouded with emotion and that you tend to act on it.

 

Hope this helps!

[SoulSilver]

I think you pushed her away to being with someone else ... sometimes people cheat when they are missing important things in their current relationship . so although I know it hurts you , try and forgive her . and instead of blaming yourself - think about what you did wrong and learn from it to become a better person for the future

[TopFive]

Pleasedonot5 I broke up with her the last time because of her bad attitude when I called t check on her during a bad storm. She cursed me out because SHE didn't have electricity. But youre right. I've been reflecting and im making changes.

[drummergirl]

It doesn't matter whether or not your ex cheated on you. That is in the past and there is NOTHING you can do to change it or influence it and the ONLY way you're going to relive it is if you continue to do so in your head.

 

What matters is figuring out how you are going to make your next relationship(s) be different.

[secondchance67]

She made her decision to end the R/S .

 

The reasons are clear to HER, they dont necessarily have to be to you...you need to examine your actions as others have pointed out here....you had a hand in pushing her to end it....and once she did, whether or not she got with someone else means ZERO in the equation.

 

From the moment she said "this is over" ...from that very second, this no longer became about her - it became about YOU....your life, your time to reflect, hela, grow as a person so that you are better equipped in your next R/S.

 

You need to realize that this questioning and pondering the "How's and why's" of what she did or didnt do is counterproductive to the goal at hand: getting over her and living your life.