UPDATE: My response to ex who contacted me after years of no contact

[browneyedgirl36]

Hi Everyone --

 

Just thought I'd update you all on a situation I'd asked about a few days ago.

 

Short version: Guy I dated EIGHT years ago broke up with me after a little less than four months. A few e-mails back and forth after that, until he finally disclosed that he had met someone else. We ceased contact at that point, and there has been no contact whatsoever since then -- 2004. Fastforward to now, he just e-mailed me the other day. I responded, very vaguely (and in a very closed-ended way) assuming that the "conversation" would end there. Well, a few days later, he wrote again and suggested a meeting. As I mentioned in my previous posts, this guy was married as of February/March of this year (a fact that was confirmed when I Googled him after he contacted me). I have no idea whether he is still married -- he could be separated, newly divorced, etc. -- I can't be sure. I felt it wasn't a good idea to meet up with him, -- and really don't have any desire to anyway, regardless of what his current marital status is. I asked you all for suggestions as to what to say when I declined his invite, and you were all very helpful.

 

After reading your responses and talking to a few other people, I decided to write back and decline the invitation to meet up, as opposed to ignoring his request. I wasn't too specific in my message -- I did NOT mention that I knew that he is/was(?) married, but I did say that at this time, I don't think it's a good idea for us to meet up and that I hope he understands. I didn't make up any excuses, didn't lie -- just told him I don't think it's a good idea. I did not elaborate. I told him I hope that all is well with him, and signed off.

 

I'm not sure whether he'll respond -- my guess is no -- but you never know. As I mentioned in an earlier post on one of my other threads, he had a bit of an inflated ego, and he was one of those "tragic romantic" types -- a little dramatic -- so I can see him not letting it go and going into some lengthy explanation of his reasons for contacting me after being out of touch for nearly a decade. We'll see.

 

Anyway, I thank you all for your feedback. It was really helpful. I'll let you know what happens, if anything.

[Ms Darcy]

He won't respond. He's got 10 other exes to contact.

[browneyedgirl36]

He won't respond. He's got 10 other exes to contact.

 

LOL! This really did make me laugh. Last night, I was talking to my mom about this, and she told me a story about this guy who broke up with her and ended up dating this other girl who, according to my mom, was really awful. He called my mom, sometime later, and she asked him, "Just out of curiosity, what made you go out with her anyway?" His response, "Wellllll....I had called twelve other girls before her, and none of them would go out with me. She was the thirteenth one, and she said 'yes.'" At the time, my mom was horrified. Now, close to 50 years later, she not only laughs heartily about it, but feels tremendous relief that the douchebag didn't stick around and make her life miserable.

[lorelaijones]

Hope that's us in the future, laughing about those jerks and telling histories to our daughters

[Ms Darcy]

Hope that's us in the future, laughing about those jerks and telling histories to our daughters

 

Haha indeed!

[browneyedgirl36]

Hope that's us in the future, laughing about those jerks and telling histories to our daughters

 

Hahahah! Yeah, my mom and I were both cracking up when she was telling the story. It was pretty funny.

 

I think this past (WAY past) ex of mine will be on to the next one the minute he finishes reading my response to his e-mail. Hmmmm...I wonder what number I was on his list? I hope I rated at least SLIGHTLY higher than #13!