Texting back a week later? seriously?

[bebeblondie]

So I posted about this guy last week, here’s the post:

 

Anyway so I texted him last Thursday saying “hey stranger, how’ve you been”? He didn’t reply so I just wrote him off as not interested and moved on. Yesterday the guy texts me back saying “pretty good, how are you?” I didn’t respond because he’s clearly not interested, but I don’t understand why he would even attempt to respond a week later? I would say it’s to string me along because I know he’s seeing other women, but a week later it is just flat out insulting! Anyway I don’t even see the point in texting somebody back a week later, oh well just wanted to vent. Thanks.

[Mellie]

Your Carrie Bradshaw quote says it all. Does this seem like that? But then, does that really happen these days, when everyone has so many options? I'd like to think that it does, but I haven't experienced that since I was in my late teens.

 

He's casual dating and keeping his options open, I would say. If you're not up for that, I wouldn't even bother responding.

[abitbroken]

I sometimes don't see a text if I get a flurry of them at once, or I have my phone off. It could be simple technology issues. I know a friend of mine had an issue where she wasn't getting her text notifications and didn't see my text until she went to send one.

 

based on your prior interaction with him - he asked if you would like to see him again and you said "um...I guess..." So if he deliberately didn't text you back right away - you could not be a big priority since you sort of rejected him. Well, you didn't reject him per se, but you definitely did not give him the green light. he could have been debating about contacting you since you weren't enthusiastic about him. You can't expect every guy to keep trying if you give him signs you are not into him. life is too short.

 

Or he could have been busy.

[bebeblondie]

I sometimes don't see a text if I get a flurry of them at once, or I have my phone off. It could be simple technology issues. I know a friend of mine had an issue where she wasn't getting her text notifications and didn't see my text until she went to send one.

 

Or he could have been busy.

 

 

Idk I might've given him the benefit of the doubt if his first phone call to me wasn't a week and half after our first date. But given that his contact is so sporadic, I don't think I can blame this on him receiving the text a week later. I do understand that he may be casually dating and thats fine, but I still think common courtesy is text or call back within a reasonable time frame, and I dont think thats a week.

[annie24]

Oh well, don't get upset, just move on.

[brickheart]

Yeah, that's pretty bizarre. No apology, no caveat of "wow, I totally didn't see your text until just now!"... I'd say he's not interested and move on.

[abitbroken]

Idk I might've given him the benefit of the doubt if his first phone call to me wasn't a week and half after our first date. But given that his contact is so sporadic, I don't think I can blame this on him receiving the text a week later. I do understand that he may be casually dating and thats fine, but I still think common courtesy is text or call back within a reasonable time frame, and I dont think thats a week.

 

But if you were wishy washy or hesitant when he talked about seeing you again, then that explains the lack of response if its not tech.

 

Well...I think if you are thinking this guy and want to see him, you can' do the "whatcha up to?" type of communication. You have to be bold and say "you know, I really would like to see you again. I figured out that you might not be answering me back because I was kind of wishy washy on our date when you asked if you wanted to see me again. The fact is, I was nervous about appearing too direct but I want to. No one has ever asked me out again while I was on a date. I have been thinking about our date and wished that we had had another. Will you give me a do over? You pick the place."

 

And if he doesn't respond to that - then don't contact him again. ever. I don't think its desperate at all. And if he does take you up on it, be sure to let him know that you want to see him again or ask him out yourself.

 

If you don't want to date him because he is dating women until he pairs off with one and you will be upset if he doesnt' pick you - then stop texting him to see what he's up to.

 

Then of course, what other posters said - just move on and use this as a lesson for the next guy. If you had a nice date "Yes, I think we SHOULD do this again!"

[Elsewhere]

From my experience, if there's a slightest sign of him loosing interest, he's lost it long ago...

The only thing that could increase his interest now is if you stop responding. But with his timing... It would probably ale months before he noticed. Sorry! Been there too.

[bebeblondie]

From my experience, if there's a slightest sign of him loosing interest, he's lost it long ago...

The only thing that could increase his interest now is if you stop responding. But with his timing... It would probably ale months before he noticed. Sorry! Been there too.

 

 

If I'm being honest, I don't think he had much interest to begin with...I'm over the him not being interested part, Im just puzzled as to why even bother answering a week later, I mean just don't answer at all at that point.

[gluestick]

If I'm being honest, I don't think he had much interest to begin with...I'm over the him not being interested part, Im just puzzled as to why even bother answering a week later, I mean just don't answer at all at that point.

 

Maybe he was trying to hook up with another girl and when that failed, he figured might as well try his luck with you again? In any case, if he's not interested, then you can certainly find someone who is interested in you and texts back within reasonable timing.

[Elsewhere]

Maybe he was busy with someone else but she/they have no time for him now... And he sent it out of boredom sorry I know it sounds brutal but I've done it...

[Sportster2005]

So I posted about this guy last week, here’s the post:

 

Anyway so I texted him last Thursday saying “hey stranger, how’ve you been”? He didn’t reply so I just wrote him off as not interested and moved on. Yesterday the guy texts me back saying “pretty good, how are you?” I didn’t respond because he’s clearly not interested, but I don’t understand why he would even attempt to respond a week later? I would say it’s to string me along because I know he’s seeing other women, but a week later it is just flat out insulting! Anyway I don’t even see the point in texting somebody back a week later, oh well just wanted to vent. Thanks.

 

One of the drawbacks with texting is SMS is not a reliable protocol. Texts can and do get dropped. And sometimes they are hideously late. It's a long shot but he may have texted you sooner. Yes, that may be a thread of hope to cling to. My point rather is texting is not the way to go about important messages. I would rather email someone if I was interested in them.

[The_Seeker]

Yeah, that's pretty bizarre. No apology, no caveat of "wow, I totally didn't see your text until just now!"... I'd say he's not interested and move on.

 

I agree with brick heart.

 

When my best guy friend misses my text and responds a week or month later he apologizes or gives me a call to apologize.

 

My superficial friends/exboyfriend never did.

 

Hence why I changed my dating pattern by telling them to call if they want to contact me. I'm not responding to text unless we are in a concert/club/restaurant/I'm running a little late.

[The_Seeker]

Maybe he was busy with someone else but she/they have no time for him now... And he sent it out of boredom sorry I know it sounds brutal but I've done it...

 

It's true. That's why OP, you click the delete button. If he doesn't send another text/call, that tells you something.

[annie24]

meh, i know sometimes texts don't go through, but when you are dating someone who is soooo into you, they are always texting or calling or sending a funny email so even if the text doesn't go through, you still hear something else from them. i think he's backburnered you. that's ok, you can back burner him as well.

[The_Seeker]

meh, i know sometimes texts don't go through, but when you are dating someone who is soooo into you, they are always texting or calling or sending a funny email so even if the text doesn't go through, you still hear something else from them. i think he's backburnered you. that's ok, you can back burner him as well.

 

LOL I agree. If someone was consistent from the beginning and then change of attitude, you do the same.

 

If he bumps into you, just say "Sorry, I am not interested in boys that I find bad." LOL Totally going to use this line when I ever bump into Mr.T.

[DylanNotorious]

He probably was in bed bored, or on the couch watching t.v bored and had nothing to do, so decided to reply to see what you would say.

[bebeblondie]

meh, i know sometimes texts don't go through, but when you are dating someone who is soooo into you, they are always texting or calling or sending a funny email so even if the text doesn't go through, you still hear something else from them. i think he's backburnered you. that's ok, you can back burner him as well.

 

Yea I agree...for instance I had a date with a different guy a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't really feeling it, he was. He texted me the next day, I didn't respond, and two days later he texted me again. So I had no doubt that he was interested, but unfortunately I did not feel the same way.