One step forward, two steps back.... (mostly a rant)

[dmarie86]

it has been a month since my partner of 3years and i split, we loved each other very much but were living in isolation and having no social life of my own, amoungst other things caused the realtionship to suffer. it finally came down to him saying he wasn't sure if he could carry on in the realtionship, that he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue to try fix things..... so i left. was very hard for the first two weeks, but i was managing, we were on friendly terms and had agreed to catchup for a goodbye one last time before i left the town. Unfortunatlely the w.e that was supose to happen he went to visit his sister instead and i was left to collect the last of my things from our house, big mistake, while out there i discovered signs of another girl having been out there, and when i confronted him about it he denied everything, being unable to help myself i knew there was something more to it and discovered more information which he still denied, it wasn't until i was actually told that she stayed out there that he admitted it, claiming it was a drunken one night mistake. From his reaction i was inclinded to believe him, he was very upset and still wanted to come and say goodbye before i left but i said no and have since moved far away back home to start things anew.

 

The next horrible step backwards is all my own doing and only have myself to blame, after being good for so long i don't know why but i checked his email and lo and behold they've been e-mailing each other (she has left the country) nothing major lovely dovey but very long and detailed and they talk about the short time they spent together...

Now i know this is none of my business as we are split and its my own fault for looking but its killing me up inside, this is the worst i've felt even considering our actual breakup and when i found out they slept together - because before it was just a one night stand but now there is a friendship evovling.....

 

I don't know.... its all my own fault for uncovering it but its heartbreaking to think he could move on to another girl only 2weeks after our 3year realtionship..... a month out and i've dig straight down past rock bottom

[Avila]

i know how you feel. my ex broke up with me after 10 weeks into an LDR. This was after we spent four years together in the same country. we talked about a month later and then a week after that he jumped into a rebound. it sucks.

 

i severed any and all ties to him. the thing is, you know that you have no control over what he does. it isn't your business anymore even though it really, really hurts (and believe me, I KNOW.) Delete those emails. DON'T READ THEM AGAIN. Get rid of everything.

 

Don't obsess about it. It has nothing to do with you. Keep busy and get on with your life. You're only harming yourself. You know that. Remember that things happen for a reason, that he and you are on your own separate journeys. Take each day as it comes and keep busy. It get's better. And to be honest, I know that my ex probably still loves me (I'm a tough act to follow, lol) and usually the faster they jump into someone else arms, the less likely they were over you at the time. Some people are stupid that way. I can't bare the thought of being with someone else, whereas others tend to jump to anyone to make themselves feel better. to fill a void.

 

try your best not to obsess and do things for you. be selfish and do things that make you happy.

[dmarie86]

Yea thanks avila, thats the thing, it now has nothing to do with me so the best thing is to forget about it and move on! easier said than done but i guess only time will heal