Question for married people

[Huntress0527]

I have the same view as Vic in regards to a pre-nup. I do understand protecting assets and children and going in with a realistic view that hey this marriage could fail but to me if I have those feelings going into it then do I really know the person enough to trust them if the marriage fails? Those who sign a pre-nup are saying no I do not know if this person is going to change or not if the marriage goes south. To me that person is not worth marrying then.

[OptomisticGirl]

While I am anti-prenup, I look at them the same I do as wills and last wishes legally into effect - sometimes in life you have to make a contingency plan for if something goes wrong. No one likes to think about what they would want done if they were put into a coma or what they'd want their love one to do if they died - however it could, and at some point, happen, and I tend to view those who don't account for it a bit naive, tbh. But I went into my marriage with the view that it could end, it's up to us to work at it so it doesn't.

[DN]

It's not that people (most people) don't want to share when married, they don't want to unfairly share when divorced. That is the thing that some people don't understand.

 

Whereas an individual may get married with the firm intention to stay married they can't control what the other person does. So if your partner wants a divorce, or behaves in such a way as to make the marriage intolerable, your firm intention becomes null. And no one can predict what a future spouse may do no matter how much in love they may be or think that they know this person as a soulmate.

[becomingkate]

We do not have one, but would have one if either of us had assets that had to protected for the sake of the children.

[Moontiger]

My brother, M, dated my sister-in-law, R, for 10 years. The lived together for at least half of that. Moved to different states together, went to school together, they were THE perfect couple. The couple everyone looks at and says, "Wow, I hope to have something like that one day." She took vacations with us, we all loved her.

 

Six months after they got married we found out she cheated on him with HIS married boss two months before the wedding. There were emails back and forth, she created a fake FB page so she communicate with him and my brother wouldn't see it (at the time she and my brother shared a FB page), had gotten a cell phone my brother didn't know about to call this other guy.

 

Pre-nups are like condoms. Better be safe then sorry.

[Capricorn3]

Yes, we have a pre-nup. I think they're a very good thing to have.

[Losingitagain]

Go for the prenup, I didn´t and now I kick myself for being so naive. All she has to do is threaten me with divorce (which she does) to keep me in line. read up on the horrors of divorce for men without a prenup. To be sincere it would be ideal not to need one, its so cool and romantic to love each other so much and rainbows and stuff. But people change and you cannot know if it will be for the better.