How do I know she's not 'just being nice'?

[jmh1216]

When I broke up with my ex, one of her best friends was there to help me through it, and I was very grateful to her. She always told me that she would not judge and would be a friend to both of us... but sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't really like me or care about me as a friend.

 

I was feeling bad last week, and called her to let her know I could really use someone to talk to... but she wasn't there, and she never called me back. I let her know today by email that I felt really bad about that, and that it would have just been nice to know she cares... I almost wanted to say, "If you don't really care about me, then just say so... don't pretend to care when in reality you just don't want to hurt me." I guess I could say something like that, in a nicer tone -- but then, if she does genuinely want to be my friend, that'll just make her think I don't trust her.

 

Last time I talked to her, I was in New York City, and coming home that night. She asked me to call her when I got back to let her know I got home alright. That seemed a little overmuch... but the least she could do is let me know she cares when I really *do* need her.

 

How do I know whether I'm just wasting her time, and she's just wasting mine?

 

Is there anything I can say or do to make it clear that I don't want to be treated like that? I don't want anyone to feel they have to be my friend just because I was really vulnerable when we met... and I surely want anyone who *is* my friend to care enough to want to help me when I ask for it (and I don't ask for much).

[scaryperson]

I don't think she'd be your friend, and be there for you at times if she didn't atleast slightly care about you, if you carry on feeling like this though, you should confront her

[Scout]

Perhaps she wanted to be your friend, indeed was your friend, but you took advantage of it a bit? I mean, there's a limit to how much people want to hear about our problems and our pain. That's when eNotalone is a haven to run to!