How long of a silent treatment do you give each other after a fight?

[piruru]

Silent treatment in terms of a LDR? I'd say the most my boyfriend and I have gone is around 3 days.

 

I usually like to work things out by talking things out ASAP, but my boyfriend frequently goes the "silent treatment" route and enjoys his cooling down periods very much.

 

Because of this, sometimes I've found the best way to "work things out" with him is by doing exactly what he does right back at him. It usually doesn't take long before he gets the message and figures it is now time to reconnect/make up. If instead I try to push him while he's in silent mode/cooling down period, he will just retreat further and it will take longer to make up.

 

In summary: Don't push. Give them space. Do your own thing. Let them come back to you when they are ready. Basically, if they go NC on you, then you go NC right back. It can become a sort of powerplay/subconscious manipulation thing if you let it so you need to be mindful. Also, while you're in NC, seriously consider whether or not this relationship is worth salvaging or not.

[The_Seeker]

I gave my peace on Tuesday on the letter.

 

I believe this is his way of breaking up. Chicken. Couldn't tell it to my face or give me a communication either through text or whatever to let me know the breakup is over.

 

We saw each other last Thursday. Had our first fight. Anyway, I already moved on.

 

Immature too handle the challenge in a relationship.

[piruru]

I gave my peace on Tuesday on the letter.

 

I believe this is his way of breaking up. Chicken. Couldn't tell it to my face or give me a communication either through text or whatever to let me know the breakup is over.

 

We saw each other last Thursday. Had our first fight. Anyway, I already moved on.

 

Immature too handle the challenge in a relationship.

 

If it really is his way of breaking up, then be glad that you've got rid of him sooner rather than later.

 

If not and he comes back eventually, then moving on emotionally/mentally will put you in a better position anyway. Win win.

 

And yeah, if this is the first fight you've had together and he's already throwing in the towel then that is indeed immature (if not pathetic) and he probably wasn't that serious about you either if that is the case.

 

You're better off without. Silent treatment is annoying as hell.

[The_Seeker]

If it really is his way of breaking up, then be glad that you've got rid of him sooner rather than later.

 

If not and he comes back eventually, then moving on emotionally/mentally will put you in a better position anyway. Win win.

 

And yeah, if this is the first fight you've had together and he's already throwing in the towel then that is indeed immature (if not pathetic) and he probably wasn't that serious about you either if that is the case.

 

You're better off without. Silent treatment is annoying as hell.

 

That's the funny part. I thought people in their past 30's know what they want and need in a relationship. So funny, when I was cracking up yesterday thinking about my relationship with him.

 

Of course I am better off without him. Got to figure out how to handle when he decides to call. Because apparently I have several dates set up already for the summer months. Shall be fun and funny at the same time.

 

Absolutely! I should add about silent treatment!

 

At least I know I'm very mature for a 24 year old.

[lalalollipops]

Silent treatment sucks. I hate how confused and uneasy it makes you feel. I ain't ever going to tolerate that again.

I think getting off the phone to cool down for a few hours/a day or so is ok, and if it's after a big fight I can understand them being silent for 2 days, but if they disappear for a week or more it's awful. It IS a form of control and Dianna you shouldn't have kept on messaging him. He probably felt like he had you in the palm of his hand. Good riddance I say!

[The_Seeker]

Silent treatment sucks. I hate how confused and uneasy it makes you feel. I ain't ever going to tolerate that again.

I think getting off the phone to cool down for a few hours/a day or so is ok, and if it's after a big fight I can understand them being silent for 2 days, but if they disappear for a week or more it's awful. It IS a form of control and Dianna you shouldn't have kept on messaging him. He probably felt like he had you in the palm of his hand. Good riddance I say!

 

LOL what can I say? Honesty is my curse and blessing.

 

I was willing to work things out. Since he made it so easy to leave me I'll make it easy to never come back.

[lalalollipops]

I'm trying to figure out in my head how I would handle if he decides to contact me out of the blue.

 

Heck this is just our first fight.

 

I don't know. If I had feelings someone and they drove 2 hours just to see you and spend time with you, and didn't mind spending the night and getting up early in the morning, and especially it's late at night, I would want them to feel safe, so they are safe at night and don't get into a car accident. Looks like more feelings are stronger than his. I better come up better things to say when he does decide to contact and move on.

 

Lesson learned. Never see someone on a weekday in a long distant relationship.

 

Shiz, he wanted you to leave in the middle of the night after you drove HOURS to see him?

Frankly he should be on his knees kissing your God damn feet lol.

See what I've learnt is in relationships don't give so much, bc all that ends up happening is they get complacent and take you for granted and just take and take.

[The_Seeker]

Shiz, he wanted you to leave in the middle of the night after you wrote HOURS to see him?

Frankly he should be on his knees kissing your God damn feet lol.

See what I've learnt is in relationships don't give so much, bc all that ends up happening is they get complacent and take you for granted and just take and take.

 

HAHAHAHA! You make me sound like a goddess! LOL

 

It's okay. ;] He'll be back.

[lalalollipops]

^ LOL and then all you need to do is smile big and act coy. People never realise how good they have it until it goes away, and when all that follows is one tragic chick after the next. Sometimes when they date sb awesome, they DO start getting greedy ('wow since I can get sb this fab so into me, I must be DA MAN'. And want a bigger cookie from the cookie jar even though in reality what they deserve is just a burnt crumb from the bottom of the oven .

[The_Seeker]

^ LOL and then all you need to do is smile big and act coy. People never realise how good they have it until it goes away, and when all that follows is one tragic chick after the next. Sometimes when they date sb awesome, they DO start getting greedy ('wow since I can get sb this fab so into me, I must be DA MAN'. And want a bigger cookie from the cookie jar even though in reality what they deserve is just a burnt crumb from the bottom of the oven .

 

;] Very true, hey we should email each other sometimes. So we can keep in touch with funny stories in our life!