His first trip out of town for work, help!

[csr14]

I currently live with my boyfriend of 6 months. We moved pretty fast but are doing great and never argue. He is not my daughter’s father but they are very close. On Monday he is driving 3 hours away for work and will be there Monday through Friday for the next 6 weeks. The worst of it is that Monday is my Birthday and we had plans which really bums me out but I would have been sad even if it wasn’t. I’m not mad or anything. I know he has to do it for work. I’m just really sad. I have a 4 year old which she will definitely help keep me busy but I just wanted some advice for while he is gone. We have basically been inseparable since we met. I have never been away from anyone I’ve dated for more than a day or two for extended periods of time. I know a lot of you are gonna call me a baby lol. And while I do know I’m being a baby I can’t help it and just want some advice on the best way to handle/go about it. The difficult things are gonna be dinner without him and sleeping without him. I also worry about the toll its going to take on my daughter. She’s 4 and very attached to him. Will she feel abandonment? I just don’t know what all to expect from it and wondered if anyone has advice. I do feel very fortunate that he is going to be coming home on the weekends. I’m definitely one of those people who looks at the glass half full. My thinking is, he will be home 3 nights, then working 4 nights. Which really isn’t too bad. But ugh I’m dreading it. Advice please?

[mhowe]

Children of that age do not have a huge grasp of time. She is not going to be upset about him being gone -- -she will be reacting to your vibe.

 

It is you who is feeling abandonment. And there is no need. He is working -- not on vacation w/out you.

 

You do what you normally do -- I assume he works during the day when home. And you have only been together for 6 months, so you know how to live alone!

Try and get all your "chores" done so that you can really enjoy the weekend. Focus on your daughter. Do not focus on "being alone".

 

Remember what it feels like to be independent.

[csr14]

I have been trying to think in that mindset, I was thinking last night and I'm almost mad at myself for getting so dependent on him. Oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger? I don't feel abandonment at all, I know he has to do it and a lot of the reason he's doing it is for us because we struggle financially sometimes. Just sadness, I'm a person of routine and anything that upsets my routine, good or bad, tends to suck for a while. Will I get used to it? I just don't wanna be sad the whole time. I wanna try to find a project to focus on while he's gone. I'm thinking that's going to be packing because we are moving the night he comes back from the trip for good (June 30th)

[mhowe]

Then you have plenty to keep busy. Dwell on the long term future -- not the 4 nites he is gone.

 

And stay in the mindset that you need to be not so dependent on him. Set a good example for your daughter.

[csr14]

I think I probably have the worst love languages of a girlfriend that has a boyfriend that leaves town for work. My love languages are quality time and physical touch and those two languages are probably the most difficult to fulfill with a boyfriend who can't be around pretty often. I have to say this 6 week bout is a good test of what we can/want to handle. When he gets back in town he is considering getting his class A license for over the road driving. I think this trip will show us if we can/want to do this in extended future. POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE

[Seraphim]

She will only be upset if you plant the idea in her head that she should be upset. If you are busy she will be happy. My husband is in the military and was stationed away from us for 5 years. We saw him every second weekend. My son and I got through it. The year we moved to be with him he left 5 weeks later to be on course in the US for 5 months. Then last year he was deployed for 4 and a half months on the other side of the world. Just make yourself busy and reassure your daughter she is loved.

[csr14]

Thank you Victoria! I was hoping I would get some military mama's insights, they know how to say goodbye the best from what I hear!