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NC for around 2 weeks,

RGWT

By RGWT
in Breaking Up Advice

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RGWT Apprentice

RGWT

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It's been about 2 weeks now, I changed my number so I wouldn't even know if breadcrumbs were threw. She msg's me on facebook in regards to trying to get a hold for the last two weeks

 

"I've been trying to get a hold of you all week, you changed your number?"

 

I don't wan't her thinking I changed my number because of her, which is true but sounds immature considering we agreed to remain friends somewhere down the road.

 

She texted me on my birthday 2 weeks ago wishing me well and asking what I had been up to. I called her the next day like a fool to see how she was doing, and she sounded VERY unimpressed, the tone in her voice was condescending, despite her shooting the shi*t civilly.

 

Easter is approaching, heard she was going to be in town for the weekend so Im not sure if that's why she's trying to get a hold of me.

 

I feel like playing it off like "thought you got my sms, your cousin did and sent a msg back", second part is true.

 

 

Any ideas? Thanks!

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RGWT Apprentice

RGWT

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2-3 months ago I would have said my goal is to get her back, but now I'm not sure, leaning more towards NO than yes.

 

Dan, wouldn't she be bored if I DID answer her, ignoring her has only seemed to provoked contact.

 

Anyways, my dilemma is I don't wan't her thinking I changed my number JUST because of her, I've done this twice before which she found immature, and of course I caved and gave her my new ones when she contacted me via facebook. Maybe this time should be for real, for a while at least. I don't wan't to see her on Easter (if that is what she is planning).

 

She is dating at the moment, I was too but stopped because I just have no desire right now. I don't see a point in responding, it's cold but so was she, I wen't beyond belief to try and get her back. Now I realize negative things about her every day...not in a resentful or bitter way which is good.

I haven't missed her in a while now, everything is either gray or negative.

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Lansing Community Regular

Lansing

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You changed your phone number twice after you broke up? Or you broke up more than once? Or in past breakups??

 

Despite what you say, she will probably assume you changed your number to avoid her and be confused by that. If you really need time to yourself and don't want to be friends with her I would tell her that you need time to yourself. Especially if she is dating someone else....Sounds like you would be better off cutting off contact completely with her.

 

One good thing about my EX is that she hasn't been contacting me... A lot of people "want" contact but I am much happier not hearing from her right now while I work on myself. I do want to be friends with her down the road but now isn't the time. She did send me an e-mail for the first time the other week but I just took it for what it was, a friendly message and I responded with a friendly "thanks" and am working on moving on. Even if you don't feel ready to date other people right now, I think you will be happier without contact from your ex until you "know" the answer of if you want to get back together with her and the answer is "no".

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RGWT Apprentice

RGWT

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We broke up a few times before, for a few days nothing serious, this is the real breakup and I have change dmy number three times since then out of impulse, but now it just feels more real.

 

The thing is I DON'T wan't to give her that satisfaction, she already has enough I don't wan't to feed her pretentious self anymore.

I don't wan't her knowing I "need" this NC to move on, and feel it should be nonchalant. I don't to address anything about moving on or anything about our relashionship.

 

We agreed to be friends somewhere down the road, not 2-3 weeks down the road. I wanted to be with her again, but there comes a line of pathetic you just can't cross, I went over and beyond to try and get her back. On valentines day she msged me all that week, when I responded she said "Sorry just had a moment, it was wrong of me to contact you". Now this? What's the point? I don't see one at all.

 

I feel like sending this message back:

 

"? you should have got the SMS, the new (***) area code was still baffling ppl. It's only been a couple weeks since we spoke, I don't see a reason to start now. I'm sure we'll be great facebook friends somewhere down the road. Hop all is well."

 

 

It sounds a bit bitter, but seriously even when things were GOOD between us, she never listened or took my advice. She would take advice from strangers over me, there was never any respect, just lot's of passion and lust.

I really don't think we were ever best friends, I'm feelnig very weird these days.

I need a cigarette

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RGWT Apprentice

RGWT

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True. She has it all right now, rich parents hence an apartment in manhattan working a great job, while I wasn't able to take my job offer with nickelodean in NY because of immigration issues. As soon as I wasn't allowed back, things died even more and she straight up said "it's not worth it, especially now that you're not here". And also "I've discovered a lot about myself and I don't ever see myself having feelings with you".

 

 

But cried her eyes out when I told her we would never be friends again. After that convo we decided to be friends somewhere in the future, but not TWO WEEKS.

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jimbojTX91 Rookie

jimbojTX91

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True. She has it all right now, rich parents hence an apartment in manhattan working a great job, while I wasn't able to take my job offer with nickelodean in NY because of immigration issues. As soon as I wasn't allowed back, things died even more and she straight up said "it's not worth it, especially now that you're not here". And also "I've discovered a lot about myself and I don't ever see myself having feelings with you".

 

 

But cried her eyes out when I told her we would never be friends again. After that convo we decided to be friends somewhere in the future, but not TWO WEEKS.

 

Hey bud, just dropping you some advice like you asked.

 

Hmmmm... I just don't get why they are so often insistant on being friends like it's the end of the world, it's like they mourn the loss of the friendship more than the relationship.

 

I'm fully aware having been a "dumper" myself before that I'd already wrapped things up in my mind a few months before I broke up with this girl, however, my reasons for leaving left little desire to be friends, at least not right away due to the weirdness of us going from lovers to friends in a matter of days,

I can't understand how anyone can make that transition and not feel weird as a dumper or dumpee,

The only psychological basis I can find is if the dumper requires forgiveness in the form of friendship to absolve themselves of guilt.

 

But I digress,

 

This is your time my friend, you need to USE this to push forward and really make your life a great one..

You can hurt and you can be down, but try to come to terms with what's happening, use that to get some direction and goals and then apply those tactics to how to handle her,

We are all going up and down and back and forth right now, but you need a clear goal,

I truly believe that as weak as I feel sometimes, there's power in there.. raw stuff, and it's time to spin this into a positive,

The NEW you..

 

Best of luck.

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RGWT Apprentice

RGWT

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She will be in town in 2 weeks from now, and it may be the only time I ever see her again, if those even are her intentions. I feel like responding, not sure what to do here, 5 days have passed since she asked:

 

"i've been trying to get a hold of you all week, you changed your number"?

 

Why is this hitting me all of a sudden, colosal feeling is overwhelming me right now.

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MasterPo Enthusiast

MasterPo

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You will reply and wait for a reply. You will get anxious and confused when no prompt reply is forthcoming or if it seems "cold" not from the girl you knew.

 

Better cut her loose and forget about any promises. When you have Jessica Alba or whoever AND you are happy and life is all good and sweet then be friends, hell.. talk about the time you cried into your pillow over her and all that.

 

Otherwise, chop the line of communication and take care of you. Harsh?? Yeah, mean and juvenile too but not many of us are strong enough to handle talking to an EX about past good times. If you are.. well..disregard and good luck.

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RGWT Apprentice

RGWT

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You will reply and wait for a reply. You will get anxious and confused when no prompt reply is forthcoming or if it seems "cold" not from the girl you knew.

 

Better cut her loose and forget about any promises. When you have Jessica Alba or whoever AND you are happy and life is all good and sweet then be friends, hell.. talk about the time you cried into your pillow over her and all that.

 

Otherwise, chop the line of communication and take care of you. Harsh?? Yeah, mean and juvenile too but not many of us are strong enough to handle talking to an EX about past good times. If you are.. well..disregard and good luck.

 

 

 

I guess you're right, it's already been a week, if it was really important she would have messaged me again, or called my house.

 

But then again, pride can get in the way of love and cause things to be lost for ever. F*ck I'm torn.

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