sydneygirl87 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 My boyfriend and i had been together for a year and recently things have been up and down. He has been very distant and stopped putting in all effort. I asked him a few weeks if this is what he wanted and he said that yes, he loves me and wants me in his life, i just need to give him a bit of space and everything will be ok. On Saturday, he was suppost to come over and we were going to go out and have dinner and stay at my place. It got to late afternoon and he still wasnt there so i got a bit upset, as he was just at home, we had plans and its not like he had anything else to do. He came over and told me that im an amazing girl and he loves me and cares about me so much but just cannot give me what i want and cant be in a relationship anymore. He said that he was hurting and he is so so sorry but he just cant to do. Im lost now and i dont know how someone can just stop caring? I love him so so much, i tried so hard to make this work. I feel so absolutley devistated and empty. I have not stopped crying, i cant eat, i cant sleep, my boss is sending me home from work shortly as he can see that im not ok. My family are in another state, and when i needed my girlfriends the most, they werent there. They were too busy. All i want is him, everything reminds me of him, i cant get him out of my head. Does anyone know how to make this pain go away? Link to comment
duke nukem Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Well, a start is to do no contact so that you can figure out what went wrong and fix your problems. This is for you I might add, not him, not the relationship. I know it may sound odd not communicating with him, but it does work and it's the best way to get yourself back. Was there another girl in the picture? Clearly everything wasn't peaches and cream if he did this. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 you just have to ride it mate , you really do . I am so sorry for you, it feels truly awful doesn't it and every single one of us has felt every emotion your going through . Infact my stomach is in knots now because I know how devastated you feel. I also know that this phase will pass , and the best advice I could give anybody is to just accept that this is how you feel , there is no quick fix , accept your pain and cry it out . big hugs to you xxxx Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I am sorry for your pain. When he asked you for space, were you able to give it or did you want to try to connect and have conversations with him? Link to comment
jimbojTX91 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Hey Aussie Wow sorry to hear you're not doing so well, I'm in a very similar position to you, coping with my own loss. It's always easy to be objective about another person's emotional situation, but honestly... things are going to be ok! This situation is actually a really great opportunity to come back stronger and to do a bit of work on yourself, maybe make some realisations about how things weren't as great as you thought they were? It's like a re-birth, time to recognise again that you are an individual and that you survived for a very long time and were happy before he came into your life. Things will be like that again! He may not have been able to commit to your relationship but someone else in the future will and in the meantime it can all be about YOU! I am actually in the same situation as you with my parents being interstate, so I understand how hard it is when you need your support network and they're not physically there. I think the best thing for you right now is to get some perspective on things, and try to spend as much time as possible talking to your parents or hanging with your friends, Are you able to take a day or two off work? Best of luck, hope you're feeling better soon. Link to comment
sydneygirl87 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Thanks everyone. I tried to give him his space, but I guess that was just a way of him distancing himself. I just don't understand how someone can go from telling you they love you & everything will be ok, to leaving you and not even caring. I know there is no girl involved, if anything I can trust him and I've spoken to his family and he is always at home. I've had the last two days off work, as soon as I start to feel a little better I think of him again and I'm totally devastated. I dont want to be with anyone else, I don't want to forget about him, but I have no choice. Link to comment
Lightning87 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Your situation is quite the same as mines. We broke up last night (see my thread on here). I am totally lost without him and just wish this pain would go away. Really feel for you xxx Link to comment
Emma8 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I just don't understand how someone can go from telling you they love you & everything will be ok, to leaving you and not even caring. I know exactly what you mean. Im still in disbelief 4 months later. I still cant understand it. One min I was his everything, he wanted to marry me, have kids, always talked about our future. Then he didnt want to know and is now with someone else. Im hurting a lot as I love him to death but know he was no good for me also (verbally abusive). He still contacts me every other day, little txts here and there but its for his own good not mine. The feeling is awful and I feel for you. Just go through every emotion, and every day you are moving closer to the end of it. Thats how I try to get through it... Link to comment
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