I hate having job interviews with attractive women

[iwishiknew]

I hate having job interviews with attractive women. I love attractive women but not during a job interview because I know I get judged and discriminated from my height and looks. I have had more than 20 interviews with attractive women and I have never had a second interview or a job offer. I'm educated and I meet all the requirements for the job, I'm very well spoken and I feel good about the interview but I don't get hired because I'm different.

[agent1607307371]

How tall are you then? Because if you're over 5 foot then you're reaching.

[pl3asehelp]

Why do you think an attractive woman would be any more judgmental of you for these things than anyone else would?

[agent1607307371]

Plus, people hire you to fill a role, not to look at you. No matter how attractive those women are, they still have a check list to tick off in regards to how you perform in an interview.

[Godless_Heathen]

This really is making a completely unfair assumption about how women decide who to hire. I said "women" because I'm having a hard time seeing why an unattractive woman would have different standards of male beauty.

 

The truth is, if there's anything to it at all, it's a self fulfilling prophecy. You're expecting not to get the job and they pick up on that. Worse, if they pick up that you've got some sexist attitudes, they won't hire you because of that.

[miracle29]

Maybe she isn't making an "unfair assumption" but more so generalizing what "she's" been through. Maybe its bigger than the looks. Maybe its the look you may have on your face when you see them. They may be like "why is she looking at me like this" lol. Little did you know going in with a positive attitude may change it all for you. Can you tell us what jobs you are going for? Is it modeling? If not your height means nothing. Tall or short...a good hard worker is just that. I'd think in some settings you may have a harder time being extreemly attractive getting a job. I work in a place where sadly looks are really the deciding factor. I also saw a gorgeous woman I thought was perfect for our area and the manager tossed her app in the trash. "I don't want her near my husband". Isn't that sad. Than again i see both sides being an insecure jealous woman these days I can see how a gorgeous woman could make an INSECURE person wonder..but I need more details from you please.

[Theniceone]

Your argument would have made some sense if you mentioned that all interviewers (male or female) were unconsciously selecting the most attractive candidates. However this is not what you are saying. Based on your previous post i will guess that as you feel unattractive, when you have to deal with a woman thatis considered attractive you become self conscious which I bet results in poor interview performance. Confidence is one of the factors that is being picked up by interviewers and I doubt you have it if you feel that your appearance is what will be the focus of the interview rather than what you say and project.

[iwishiknew]

Not all interviewers select attractive people, just some. I have confidence in all my interviews. I have notice when I interview with attractive women, I never get hired. I do well in the interviews and I answer all the questions well and I have all the job requirements. I know looks do matter a lot in the corporate world, I read it in a few articles before. I know it is not all about looks but having decent looks helps getting that position, promotion, raises etc.

[PlayingAces]

I hate having job interviews with attractive women. I love attractive women but not during a job interview because I know I get judged and discriminated from my height and looks. I have had more than 20 interviews with attractive women and I have never had a second interview or a job offer. I'm educated and I meet all the requirements for the job, I'm very well spoken and I feel good about the interview but I don't get hired because I'm different.

 

Wow, talk about sexist! Ever think it's because of your lack of professional talent? It's very rarely the person who is interviewing you who solely makes the decisions about hiring. Take it from someone who has HR experience. Today's economy is rough, and everything is very competitive. Maybe it's your bad attitude that's not making you a very promising candidate, not the way you look. Unless you're interviewing to be a model. But I seriously doubt it.

[iwishiknew]

I have a lot of professional talent with no bad attitude. Every interviewer is different, they are not all the same. You think that discrimination does not happen at all in interviews? It does!

 

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[iwishiknew]

I have a lot of professional talent with no bad attitude. Every interviewer is different, they are not all the same. You think that discrimination does not happen at all in interviews? It does!

 

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It's very rarely the person who is interviewing you who solely makes the decisions about hiring.

 

That is not true at all

[PlayingAces]

It was true at every company I ever worked for. Have you worked in HR? Have you interviewed people? Scored someone on their interview? My guess is no.

 

I'm not saying discrimination doesn't go on. I know it does. Try being a woman if you want to experience it often, especially relating to your career. You obviously have a distorted view of how people perceive you. I find that often socially defined "unattractive" people have bad attitudes, because they think everyone's judging them on how they look, when in reality, it's their overall demeanor and personality.

 

Are you a pleasant person? Do you smile at people? Are you open to new people and experiences? My guess is that if you were, you wouldn't be on here asking advice about how to find a job.

 

I wish you luck in your endeavors.

[Thorshammer]

Looks and height does play a role in a lot of things, i remember reading up on it on some study they did where they hired the taller people first, but i wouldnt live by it. If i were to dig deeper and believe this was a lot more serious than just one study, i would assume height = strength in some of these cases, and if that was the case i believe you can portray strength in other ways.

 

I actually like being interviewed by women over men. I guess its the charmer in me. When its a dude, i feel like i am being sized up as if he was going to throw me a sword and say, "battle dooooooooooooooome!"

[annie24]

I suspect you get nervous when it's an attractive woman and maybe don't come accross as well as you do in other situations. I would try your very best to pretend she is not attractive, or pretend like she is your sister, or pretend like she ate poop for lunch. I don't know. whatever makes you feel neutral about her and not attracted or act weird.

 

I agree that it's a tough economy and there are many reasons you might not have been given the job.

[iwishiknew]

It was true at every company I ever worked for. Have you worked in HR? Have you interviewed people? Scored someone on their interview? My guess is no.

 

I'm not saying discrimination doesn't go on. I know it does. Try being a woman if you want to experience it often, especially relating to your career. You obviously have a distorted view of how people perceive you. I find that often socially defined "unattractive" people have bad attitudes, because they think everyone's judging them on how they look, when in reality, it's their overall demeanor and personality.

 

Are you a pleasant person? Do you smile at people? Are you open to new people and experiences? My guess is that if you were, you wouldn't be on here asking advice about how to find a job.

 

I wish you luck in your endeavors.

 

Yes, I have an HR degree from ISU and I worked in HR before. I was also a manager for an auto parts stores and I have interviewed a lot of people before. Yes, I always smile at people and I'm a friendly person with no bad attitude. I'm always open to new people and experiences, I'm always outgoing and enjoy new challenges. I'm not asking for advise on finding a job. I know how to job search and find a job. People perceive me different sometimes because I have mhe. I sometimes get stares and giggles but I'm use to it and it does not bother me. You don't know what it is like being in my shoes because you don't have mhe.

 

I suspect you get nervous when it's an attractive woman and maybe don't come accross as well as you do in other situations. I would try your very best to pretend she is not attractive, or pretend like she is your sister, or pretend like she ate poop for lunch. I don't know. whatever makes you feel neutral about her and not attracted or act weird.

 

I agree that it's a tough economy and there are many reasons you might not have been given the job.

 

No, I do not get nervous when I'm interviewing with an attractive women. I'm comfortable talking with attractive women. I have talked to attrative women before at work, school, stores etc.

[Theniceone]

Can you please then tell us why you feel attractive women only judge you and discriminate about you based on your looks? Don't you think less attractive people would do the same. You describe yourelf as being unattractive but of course you appreciate attractive women... so I do not see why you attach that kind of behaviour to one type of women

 

I can be confident and have all the qualifications for the job..does not mean I will get it as I do not know what my competition is btw.

[annie24]

Can you please then tell us why you feel attractive women only judge you and discriminate about you based on your looks? Don't you think less attractive people would do the same. You describe yourelf as being unattractive but of course you appreciate attractive women... so I do not see why you attach that kind of behaviour to one type of women

 

I agree. The OP has stated that people frequently make fun of him or stare in public so I'm guessing that applies to men, women and children. (And that is unfortunate that those people are so rude and their parents never taught them manners!!)

 

I suspect that the issue is that he feels most self-conscious around attractive women. So, I would work on changing your mindset when you are on an interview with one.

[iwishiknew]

Can you please then tell us why you feel attractive women only judge you and discriminate about you based on your looks? Don't you think less attractive people would do the same. You describe yourelf as being unattractive but of course you appreciate attractive women... so I do not see why you attach that kind of behaviour to one type of women

 

I can be confident and have all the qualifications for the job..does not mean I will get it as I do not know what my competition is btw.

 

I have been discriminated by all types of people, not just attractive women. But lately all of my interviews have been with attractive women and a lot of them gave me a slight facial impression look (thinking eww gross) when I extended my right arm (which is deformed and my fingers are crooked) to shake hands. I'm good at reading facial expressions, I have dealt with it a lot before. That right there can change my chances of getting the job. Other interviews/less attractive have been like that to me before but not as much as attractive women. I don't know why? But that is what I have noticed. I appreciate all types of women not just attractive women.

 

How tall are you then? Because if you're over 5 foot then you're reaching.

 

I'm 5'2, I can't reach everything, My arms are shorter than normal due to having mhe

[agent1607307371]

I'm 5' 2" too. Perfect height. Wolverine's height. ~cough cough~

 

Yeah, maybe there are better candidates but some probably will be making a lot of assumptions about you based on you having mhe. Human nature really can suck quite badly.

[Blue Spiral]

You could very well be right about this, OP. Unfortunately, not all scenarios are socially-accepted. "Men discriminating against women" is unfortunately common, and acceptable to point out. Whereas your theory about your situation will get negative reactions, as you've already seen. I personally think that attractive people like being around other attractive people, and if you don't "fit" their picture of how a certain role should be (whether it's an employee or something else), they'll never give you a chance.

[pl3asehelp]

Not all interviewers select attractive people, just some. I have confidence in all my interviews. I have notice when I interview with attractive women, I never get hired. I do well in the interviews and I answer all the questions well and I have all the job requirements. I know looks do matter a lot in the corporate world, I read it in a few articles before. I know it is not all about looks but having decent looks helps getting that position, promotion, raises etc.

 

If you're still interviewing, you presumably never get hired for ANY of the jobs you interview for. What evidence do you have that it's the looks of the interviewer that have anything to do with this? You're correct, looks are important in the corporate world, YOUR looks - those have nothing to do with how the person that interviews you looks.

[Natasha24]

I wonder if you are sending off bad signals, and THAT'S why you don't get hired by the attractive women?

I imagine if you walk into an interview, and see an attractive woman, you might roll your eyes without noticing, or you seem less enthusiastic in the interview because you're convinced you're not going to get the job.

 

I think you are judging them based on looks more than they are judging you based on looks. I've never heard of someone not getting hired because the interviewer was attractive.

[Lonewing]

If your condition makes women have this sort of reaciton, then yes, you're being discriminated based upon your condition, and yes, there are some people who will be more creeped out by it than others.

 

I do not doubt the "reaction" you are suggesting. It's the touch of death, and from that point forth, it's likely all they're think about too.

 

You may find some way to cover your disability, if it's as dehabilitating as you say it is, or opt for Phone/non-personal interviews.

[PlayingAces]

Attractive people aren't all superficial - what absolute crap! Are people really that insecure about their looks they have to resort to such stereotypes?

 

Judging someone for being good looking is JUST as bad as judging someone for being "ugly".

 

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Unwanted attention is worse than being ignored, TRUST me. I was taking a bag of recycling out to my car this afternoon in my yoga clothes and had men honking at me, embarrassing me in front of all my family and yelling terrible things. There's no describing how it felt to be posted on the "Missed Connections" section of Craigslist, along with disgusting descriptions of what this person wanted to do. Or try going to a job interview and being told you'll be hired if you wear a shorter skirt everyday. Being objectified is worse than feeling "overlooked". No sympathy here I'm afraid.

[Lonewing]

It's not a stereotype and it's not a male on female nor female on male stereotype. If anything, I've heard women are more judgemental of other women then men are. If appearance didn't matter, we wouldn't show up to interviews "looking our best." And we wouldn't have studies that show better looking people successively get better opportunities for advancement any time a human promotion is involved.

 

What can we do about it, thoguh? we jsut have to make the best of what we have and go for it.