How did you overcome depression?

[justaglimmer]

Hello all,

 

Today I find myself in emotional distress, as I do most days anymore. I think I have some serious depression and have already sought help, but I'm just afraid of never feeling happy again. I feel so hopeless and am not excited about anything at all, in fact I am constantly on edge and so irritable. Any success stories out there on how you overcame depression and how you're feeling these days?

[NANNYSTUDENT]

Hello,

 

I don't much about your situation..... or how long you have been feeling this way. But I recently have went through depression (situational). And I may have some advice.... but a little more details maybe? Before I give advice that may be too specific. All I know, is I am sorry you are feeling this way, it can be stifling. I wish you the best until I hear more.

[pl3asehelp]

Nobody 'overcomes' it, you have to work very hard to manage it every single day through psychotherapy and medication.

[justaglimmer]

Yeah, I basically have realized that there is no easy way out. I just wonder if I'll ever feel happiness again like I used to.

 

I've felt "not ok" for awhile now, and of course an on again off again relationship really helped in pushing me over the edge. It used to take a lot to get me to cry and now I'm crying over everything.

[pl3asehelp]

Yeah, I basically have realized that there is no easy way out. I just wonder if I'll ever feel happiness again like I used to.

 

I've felt "not ok" for awhile now, and of course an on again off again relationship really helped in pushing me over the edge. It used to take a lot to get me to cry and now I'm crying over everything.

 

Not to be too pessimistic, but I think the older we get, the more hurtful experiences we endure chips away at the youthful, somewhat naive happiness we all start out with. A good therapist will help put that in perspective with your depression.

[newterritory]

Hello all,

 

Today I find myself in emotional distress, as I do most days anymore. I think I have some serious depression and have already sought help, but I'm just afraid of never feeling happy again. I feel so hopeless and am not excited about anything at all, in fact I am constantly on edge and so irritable. Any success stories out there on how you overcame depression and how you're feeling these days?

 

I'm sorry you're experiencing bad depression. I have had serious depression on and off since I was a teen. As time progresses the periods of depression seem shorter and have less of a hold on me, and feelings of joy, gratitude, hope, and peace have developed in its place. So there is definitely hope. Is there a particular reason or catalyst for your depression? I think everyone is probably unique, but works best for me is a combination of things.

 

Depression often results from feelings of isolation. In my case this isolation was due to guilt, family trauma which affected my ability to relate to people, and crippling shyness/low self esteem to name a few things. I've taken steps to regularly challenge myself socially and in other ways, which led to a sense of empowerment. That sense of empowerment has led to grieving and reliving traumatic childhood relationships and experiences. I try to face any intense negative emotion head on, by giving it my full attention and experiencing it physically in the moment. The experience of feeling an emotion pass rather than burying it or having it at the edge of your periphery is very powerful. Sometimes there is a powerful sense of release and wholeness in the heart of the emotion, which can even become euphoria. The emotion comes back again, but then it passes again, like breathing. Surrendering to emotion makes me feel alive. It's my personal opinion that depression is the opposite of this. Depression is getting stuck in painful emotion until you feel half dead. It's not flowing through and passing.

 

I think depression also comes from anxiety. Writing about and examining, and facing fears can be helpful. There is a technique called Morning Pages, which I recently started doing. You write three pages a day, free association writing, whatever comes into your head. It gives you insight and awareness and starts to free you from your internal censor. You see how and why you're sabotaging yourself ect.

 

Nature is very therapeutic. Getting grounded in your body, and experiencing pleasure through it (like the sun on your skin) it is also very helpful. So is a good diet.

 

My depression also comes from existential boredom and spiritual uncertainty. I find that focusing on beauty and creativity helps me create a subjective meaning rather then despairing about the meaning of life.

 

Going to new places where you know no one, and putting yourself in different contexts can sometimes help break old patterns or at least interrupt them.

 

The most important thing I have found in fighting depression is not resisting myself, but realizing there is a reason for feeling and responding the way I do. I am slowly developing self compassion. I think we get stuck in the feelings we're not allowed to feel. If you can learn to follow your mind and body's subconscious wisdom, it can lead places you never dreamed. Meditation is really good. I hear yoga is too, though haven't really tried it.

 

Helping and assisting others can help get you out of yourself. So can learning new skills and hobbies.

 

Just know that the place you are in isn't permanent. It doesn't have to be. The brain is malleable and reality varies extraordinarily depending on your current perspective. I have been in a depression so black and hopeless, I literally didn't feel like an integrated person. It was excruciating. I thought I was going crazy, had no frame of reference, and didn't think I would ever regain normalcy. It was terrifying. Journaling helped lead me out of that, and once I came through it the world looked more beautiful than ever.

[justaglimmer]

Not to be too pessimistic, but I think the older we get, the more hurtful experiences we endure chips away at the youthful, somewhat naive happiness we all start out with. A good therapist will help put that in perspective with your depression.

 

Therapy is something I am trying soon and probably should have tried a long time ago, and I think you're right about the whole youthful/naive aspect.

[justaglimmer]

Wow, thank you for taking the time to share this. This makes me feel like there can be hope. Today has been one of the worst days I've had in awhile, but how wonderful it would be to look back a year or so from now and know that I've come a long way. There are definitely things going on in my life right now that have me feeling down on my luck - the official end to a relationship that actually meant a lot to me was probably the last straw, not only do I feel messed up about the way it ended, but it also forced me to dig deeper in search of finding who I really am, and I've had to really look into my past and its hard to explain but this has been a life-altering experience unlike anything else. I just feel like I'm in limbo right now and I've felt it coming for awhile now.

[meoww]

I think the in-limbo feeling you are describing is actually a really good thing. You are probably on your way to finding true happiness.

 

I know depression is a disease, but I think some of us have additional lifestyle/relationship problems to confront and dealing with those problems is the key to becoming happy, not necessarily medicalizing the issue and only treating the symptoms.

 

Become who you really want to be--it will be much easier to cope with life's disappointments this way. I'm sorry you are going through this though, depression claimed 10 years of my life. Don't let that be you! Don't get caught up in cycles of guilt and exhaustion, I'm sure you are being too hard on yourself. Take small steps each day and don't punish yourself for not being perfect.

[NANNYSTUDENT]

I can relate to your feelings in regard to the end of a serious relationship. I myself have never really "believed" in panic attacks/anxiety/depression but as a result of the end of a 4 year relationship (for no apparent reason) and having the love of my life walk out of my life/moved out of the home we shared for 3 years I discovered that all of the above is real. For me, I started seeing a counselor (2x/3x) weekly for hourly sessions who helped me understand that somethings are out of my control (i.e. other people) and that their decisions are their own and are not a reflection of who "we" are as individuals, even though it can feel like we are, this helped with my constant wondering of "why wasn't I enough?" "what could I have done differently?" etc etc. Basically a guilt reel running through my already mentally/physically/and emotionally exhausted brain. I tried/and still try (it has been almost 3 mos. now for me) to make daily checklists/goals even with tiny things like "mail car payment" to big things like "start lit review." I have realized that this personally is something I can do that keeps me focused and gives me a sense of accomplishment. And trust me in the beginning of my struggle with these symptoms I kept my lists simple because I was already overwhelmed- my main goal at this time was get out of bed, shower, put on makeup, and wear clothes that are not pajamas (because I was to be damned if he saw me looking like sh*t . I also was put on xanxax (lowest dosage) and zoloft to help with panic attacks/depression. I noticed that while taking xanax on a regular basis (3x a day) that my panic attacks and anxiety improved. I also journal a lot and talk to my friends when I am having low moments. This has been the most unnerving time of my life and I am very type A personality so it was hard for me to come to grips that I needed help outside of myself. Just know what you can handle and don't beat yourself up. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to smoke a cigarette smoke a cigarette. If you need to yell profanity close your door to your car and scream it out. If you need to hit something, beat your pillow. If you don't want to sleep alone, stay at a friends. If you don't feel like cooking, order something in and treat yourself. It is all about realizing that you are a good person, and sadly bad things happen to good people. But don't let him define you (I am telling myself the same thing so I know it's hard). But look around at everyone who loves you and the roles you have in their life and remind yourself that just because one person is too blind to see your worth doesn't mean it isn't there... it just means they need glasses Keep your head up. Smile to yourself when you read a good book, achieve something small, or when the sun is shining. Baby steps. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way--- because I was in the thick of it about a week ago--- starting to see the light again, it's small but I am starting to see it. And I know how annoying it is to hear everyone say "it will get better" because you feel like it won't--- I know that feeling. But slowly (and with time-- another thing I got sick of hearing) it starts to feel a tiny bit better. I am a believer in God and for me I have found comfort in reminding myself that God leads those who love him to greener pastures and although we may not be able to see it now, there is a plan in the works, and he is breaking you, molding you, and shaping you for something better.

 

Sorry this got long! I just know what it feels like and it feels good to try to help.

[justaglimmer]

nannystudent,

 

thank you so so much for sharing your situation with me. Reading what you wrote seriously helps. I'm so glad you're taking steps towards feeling better, you seem determined to fight through your slump and I am rooting for you as well. It really does sometimes feel like there's no way it'll get better but I know I must hold on to any bit of hope that maybe just maybe happier days are right around the corner. Again, thank you for replying to me.

[justaglimmer]

I think the in-limbo feeling you are describing is actually a really good thing. You are probably on your way to finding true happiness.

 

I know depression is a disease, but I think some of us have additional lifestyle/relationship problems to confront and dealing with those problems is the key to becoming happy, not necessarily medicalizing the issue and only treating the symptoms.

 

Become who you really want to be--it will be much easier to cope with life's disappointments this way. I'm sorry you are going through this though, depression claimed 10 years of my life. Don't let that be you! Don't get caught up in cycles of guilt and exhaustion, I'm sure you are being too hard on yourself. Take small steps each day and don't punish yourself for not being perfect.

 

Yes, I definitely am being too hard on myself, I really need to learn to relax a little more. My stress level is through the roof! You make some very good points meoww, thank you for replying.

[NANNYSTUDENT]

justaglimmer,

 

No problem. I am not lying that I just saw the teeniest bits of light for the first time this week. Otherwise I had been living in an almost 3 month personal hell. Lost 12 pounds. Fell behind in school Became addicted to cigaretters when I never used to smoke never ate puked all the time for a nervous stomachSlept 18 hours at a time. Etc. Etc. But trust me when I say that if you want to get better- you will. And it isn't easy.I was CONVINCED there was no chance I would ever change my view on my situation... that I was going to be sad for life and that no one understood or could even come close to feeling how I felt. But For me something inside of me finally just snapped. And I looked around and said why the hell am I doing this to myself-- I am and you are too, WORTH MORE THAN WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW. That's when I had to take ownership for where I was at. Now, I still have my moments. I am still on prescribed medicine and take sleeping aids at night so I can turn my brain off. But I have decided (last week) to go NC with my ex on MY TERMS which was very helpful to my healing process.... because I looked at my situation and evaluated what can I control? What makes it worse? What can I not control and need to let go of? And it is hard.... very hard, especially for me, because I take pride in having my sh*t together and having to let go of something that means the world to me is hard, but you know what means more to me now (but didn't for the past three months) is MYSELF and the people that didn't walk out of my life that were starting to hurt as a result of my lack of love for myself. For me, I am a talker, I talked it out. To everyone that would listen. A tree, my cat, my best friends, the air, my counselor, the lady I nanny for, anything and anyone but for me it helped me process. So I encourage you to find someone you trust, even if that is your cat. But just TALK. Say what you are feeling and get it out of your head. I also am a writer and if I feel like I am getting a little stir crazy upstairs I write it down.... but if I feel like during that process I am reverting back to old pains, I literally right in my journal "not doing this sh*t right now... be back later." You have to know your limits.... and I reached mine in a big big way.... because it was so glaringly different from who I am as a person before this situational aspect. Also search out more stuff on this forum. Google your situation. Read. Read. Read anything you can gobble up about what your going through--- some of it is total garbage-- some of it is great (like this site) but bottom line it gives reinforcement that you are not alone, you are not crazy, and you will get better. As my counselor said to me, actually today, when I told her about this site and others I have read she said "Having something be normal doesn't make it hurt less but it makes it easier to understand that you can and will move forward." Know you are a good person. Seriously know that. I tell myself everyday that I am a good human being. I know my heart. And right now I am going through some tough stuff but if God didn't think I could handle it and didn't have a reason, I wouldn't be here. So after three months of being an absolute mess (and I was)-- I have just begun the slow process of looking at myself and being like "Girl, you got this."

 

One foot in front of the other. Shower. Get dressed. Wear normal clothes.Makeup. Eat something. Deal with your feelings as they come. Get good sleep. Baby steps.

[XHappinessX]

Wow - just joined this site and have found your comments so helpful. It's so amazing to no that there are people out there helping others with just a simple message.

 

I have suffered from depression and am still trying to cope with things, making small changes daily have helped like reading things from this site and to writing a journel of my thoughts to even reading self help books on depression and how to change my thoughts. Have recently come of anti depressants and I am slowly starting to help myself, it's proving to be hard and I just hope that I can come out of this better and stronger.

 

Again it's so nice to hear about others going through similar things and just lovely to no that people do care.

[Fudgie]

I take daily, lifelong medication and go to therapy.

 

I am no longer depressed and I no longer want to kill myself. My mood can still turn quite dire in bad situations. Like now...I've been quite depressed lately but that's not because of my actual clinical depression, it's because I got hurt a couple weeks ago on the job and am in a lot of pain.

 

But yeah, day to day, I'm fine. I plan to stay on my meds.

[allquietnow]

I tried to kill myself at one point in the past, and have had periods of severe depression. I've made a lot of changes through a combination of anti depressants, therapy, physical exercise, cutting out alcohol and cigarettes, trying to eat healthy, being in nature, mediation and yoga, and trying to work on changing negative thought patterns. If you address your problem head on and work systematically on it, I'm sure you can improve.

[KnowMore]

Completely agree and like the previous advices.

If this is mostly about a relationship- just ride the big wave as best as you can and stop giving up on your life for someone who won't do the same for you. Simply put, life goes on and there WILL be better and greater adventures, laughs, men, experiences, and all you have to do is embrace them, enjoy them, and appreciate them. I know after you end a serious relationship nothing can make you feel better, but if you want to get better and smile with your heart again, then just don't give up and try every day because your life is worth so much more than you know you just still have to discover it. The perfect guy for you will come. I was in a 3 year relationship and was head over heels for this guy. I thought that there was nothing better than him in this world and when the relationship ended and he simply walked away. I though I would never get over it, that the pain would never end and I couldn't see myself getting any better. I was going down and fast, my attitude changed. I was constantly angry, always crying, failing in school, getting sick, the full works as you may know. After about a year of being in this state I couldn't take myself any more, I wanted to smile again, laugh, have fun and be 'myself again.' I wanted to feel again, feel good. With the help of my close friends, night outs, exercising, loads of venting through every possible way I could find, I regained happiness I decided that it wasn't a good idea to get seriously involved with any one at the moment, I stayed single for about a year more and today I'm with a great someone. I'm in a relationship and it's nothing like the previous one. It's a million times better If you stay stuck in a state where you don't want to move on then you will never discover the greater beauties of the world Keep strong and know that you don't have to go through anything alone.