Intense Orgasm and Feeling Sort of Flipped Out. Has Anyone Experienced This?

[Silverbirch]

Okay, I know I don't have too much to complain, but wondered if anyone has experienced this, and what it is.

 

I had a really intense (multiple) orgasm last night with a man who I think I have very deep feelings for. It took me much longer to recover and I was more thirsty,etc It was very satisfying, but today, I've had this feeling, especially if I think about the sex I had last night. I can only describe it as a feeling of nakedness and feeling a "bit out of control" - a bit freaked out that another person can have that effect on me. Has anyone experienced this or similar and what do you think it is about. The man has been especially loving. Part of me feels like I need to be alone and sort of pull myself together, the other part wants to take up his invitation to see him anytime I want.

[greywolf]

hmmm... I'm not sure if this is quite the same, but I have had a feeling of euphoria and yet also a feeling of extreme vulnerability that felt a bit uncomfortable (scary, even). Was it anything like that?

[Silverbirch]

Thanks Grey, and THANK YOU to the person who sent me an IM. I've definitely felt the euphoria before, maybe not so much this time, but it was intense like I've never felt. During the sexual experience, I was a lot more aggressive than I've ever been - I don't mean like hitting or anything violent - I mean I took the lead completely and basically held him down while I had sex with him - he wasn't unwilling.

 

I would say the feeling of vulnerability came later - like today - and this feeling I'm not sure I've ever had before of being "naked" - metaphorically speaking. I don't just mean with sex - but that too. It's like he knows just who I am and how I think - and it does feel a little threatening - slight understandment. Yeah, I feel vulnerable - at least to a degree, but if I can pull away from him a bit, just temporarily, I think that's what I want to do. I don't want to feel out of control. It feels like more than sex, but something I haven't ever known before.

[greywolf]

Do you suppose that this is because feeling vulnerable feels uncomfortable to you, or do you think there are other things that are making you want to pull away? Or maybe you feel like you exposed a side of yourself that no one has ever seen before, and it's scary wondering if that person will accept that hidden side to you.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Grey,

I'm quite certain I've worked out what it's about. The reason I had such an intense orgasm is that I'm very in love with him and it feels different. He IS very different in a lot of ways to any of the men I've been with. He does this thing that I sort of found annoying. He would say: " You do X because you think Y" It annoyed me a lot because he's usually spot on. Like how can he know me so well? In a way, I feel like I've known him forever too.

 

The feeling of needing to be on my own and away from him I'm sure is that I've been scared he doesn't feel the same way about me or that he's going to go pffft from my life. Also, I feel like I'm getting addicted to sex with him - well, it's looking like I am already.

 

He called me today while I was on my way back home and said he wanted to come around and attend to some things with my ponies. The minute I heard his voice, I just felt really happy and was so glad he was coming around. Well, he came and we did the things with the horses, had a cuppa, and one thing led to another very quickly. He's asked if I want to go to his place for dinner tonight and stay the night, then stay in the morning and wait for him to get back from a few hours work. I'm starting to wonder which one of us is addicted to the sex the most.

 

He told me today that he is in love with me and loves me also as a friend and said some really nice things, and he's supposed to be the world's most unromantic man.

 

Grey, I've been so badly hurt in the past, I don't ever want to have to go through that again. It would be worse if this doesn't work out because there is so much more there with him than any of my exes. I have to have my eyes wide open that maybe this happiness will only last a short while.

[90_hour_sleep]

hey silver...

 

just my thoughts...

 

i think it's wise to take a step back sometimes...soak in the experience...and let a bit of space give you a few moments that are free from the intensity of what you're going through. i think it makes sense to do that. on the other hand...when you connect with someone deeply, a huge part of that connection becomes almost dependent on a certain willingness to remain open...to not balk in the face of vulnerability...to find comfort and trust and sanctuary with someone safe. my suspicion is that you've found that sense of safety. it may not have solidified into something tangible at this point...but it's there...and it's allowed you to be your authentic self with this man to such a degree that it feels almost too real.

 

i admire your awareness at this moment. having the wisdom to keep your eyes open...and also a curiosity to explore the uncertainty of something new for you. maybe it's about balancing your uncertainty with a willingness to remain open. i think at some point we decide that the risk of being hurt is less significant when compared to the potential for a deeper connection with someone (however long, or short-lived that connection happens to be).

 

as always...trust your gut...your heart.

[Silverbirch]

I really appreciate your words 90 hour. It all makes so much sense to me. With all of my exes, I deluded myself into believing those relationships were going to last forever, and of course they didn't. When they ended, I was so attached to them, it made moving on so much more difficult. I see that I had a very false sense of safety with those men.

 

I feel as though I have changed so much in this last year. I didn't expect I could feel this way or love a man in this way - I didn't even have a connection like THIS with any of my exes. I need to keep mindful though that I am responsible for me and taking care of myself and my feelings. I think he is more trustworthy than the other men I've been with. Still, it's accepting that reality that none of us can know how long the relationship will last. I think though that I don't want to miss out on whatever happiness I can have with him, regardless of whether it is long-lasting. That's a bit scarey.

[gingerlemon]

I just read that OP and got SO JEALOUS, haha just enjoy it.

[quirky]

Sometimes sex can be transcentental. You and the other person kinda leave this world..it's scary when you expose yourself like that. When you feel bare towards someone, the ability they have to influence you in the best or worst way. Some things we keep locked deep down and when it's been too long since they've seen the light the experience is intense. I have had glimpses of that feeling. I had never had a partner where I can fully let go in his arms, I am very scared to do that. I am very happy for you to experience that and it is also very self nurturing to take the little time and space you need to process the intensity and find your safety.

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Everyone who has posted here and anyone reading this. Well, there have been further developments. As I think I may have mentioned, David rang and came over yesterday, and he took some time attending to my beautiful equines. (I'm going to post some pics on the pets thread in the next few days of the progress of the little one who really brought us both together). Anyway, I spent the night at his place, and we had decided beforehand that we would watch the Tantra dvd, but remain open as to whether it is right for us and also if it is the right time. We watched it in bed from my laptop which might sound a little kinky, but it was just gorgeous! We just exchanged affection in the way shown through Tantra which isn't very different to most of how we have been doing this anyway. I'm very happy that David seemed to love the dvd too. In a way I was surprised because in a lot of ways, he's very much your typical blokey type of man (and in other ways he isn't). There's a lot more to the Tantra than sex - but it isn't complicated. I suppose it is a type of spiritual and sexual marriage, and with some of the people in the dvd, it was definitely commitment. I thought that might freak him out, but it didn't. This married couple who have been together for 15 years are commited through Tantra to live their lives and their marriage in coming together through Tantric love and sex. They said they are having sex more frequently now than they did 15 years ago, and that it has just continued to get better - which we both thought was pretty good! LOL! They showed how to make Tantric love after an argument. David pointed out we had already done that, pretty much in the way they showed. Then when we woke up this morning, we did as they showed how a couple can start the day and exchanged affection again. He had to go off to work, and I've had to come home to get ready myself for work and won't finish until very late.

 

As an aside, something else that surprised me. He's always maintained that he is the world's most unromantic man, and I posted on other threads about Valentines day and there were some issues around that, mostly because he has insisted he never celebrates or even recognises it because he thinks it's all part of Hallmark Cards making money and, his words that people can love each other every day - they don't need to just make a big deal of this one day of the year. Well, when I went to his house last night, I noticed that in his living room on the stereo setting, on one side, it looks as though he has every birthday card his daughter has ever given him, and on the other side is the Valentines Day card which I gave him.

 

Today, I feel peaceful and contented and the fears and anxiety that I had when I posted this thread aren't with me right at this point in time. Thank you all so much.

[Silverbirch]

Link to Oztantra - The Secrets of Sacred Sex

 

link removed

[Silverbirch]

Hey 90, I have this feeling you are going to understand this - in my previous relationships, I felt that my partners had this huge expectation of me to be with them and do things for them that were really way too much for me - and probably most women. I felt like I lost my sense of self. I don't feel that way with David, but I suppose the fear was there that might happen in my original post on this thread. Part of the practice in Tantra is recognising that each of you needs to go out on your own in the world to do all the things you need to do for yourself, but that you can come together as one at other times.

 

(I just got a lovely text from him as I was typing this post)

[90_hour_sleep]

of course that makes sense. it's next to impossible to ignore the patterns of your past...and just blindly accept something that may be potentially new and different. i can understand your fear...definitely. i'm sure i'd be no different. at the same time...you've mentioned that this whole thing DOES feel different. so you have that going for you. there's bound to be uncertainty.

 

i like what you've said about tantra. i think it's often misinterpreted as something that is exclusively sexual. i think the whole point is that it's not exclusively sexual...isn't it? takes the act of sex as a means to an end and helps transform it into something more substantial.

 

also sounds like it borrows from the philosophy of non-attachment (which isn't to say that you don't form attachments...but that the attachments you do form don't leave you debilitated when you're faced with losing them).

 

was this part of your experience? i didn't realize that!

[Silverbirch]

Yes 90 though I'm not sure how I would go if I was to permanently lose that attachment. I'm quite sure though that I would still be very glad that I had that experience and time with him.

[Silverbirch]

90, I think if I do lose this attachment - whether it be through death or separation, right now, I don't think I would have a "need" to ever be with anyone again because I feel I have right now what most people seek once in a lifetime.

[JonasWaingaro]

Yeah the tantra is taking it beyond sexual and the physical. It can be intense but does require a lot of trust, not just in your partner but in yourself. You have to let go of things, like the ego. That can be difficult.

[journeynow]

Yeah the tantra is taking it beyond sexual and the physical. It can be intense but does require a lot of trust, not just in your partner but in yourself. You have to let go of things, like the ego. That can be difficult.

 

Could be you did had a glimpse of what JonasWaingro mentions, a letting go of the ego, and then experienced a bit of ego backlash. I think our ego's have a self-protective mechanism; a need to protect that which which we makes us feel separate and individual and material. (Our ego-self does not want to be let go.) It's ok, we are human and have ego's and our ego's will do that. It can be a practice in mindfulness, to just step back a bit and observe our egos in response to transcendent love.

[Silverbirch]

Hey Thanks Jonas and JN. I've always been really dense when it comes to all this ego stuff, and feel right at the beginning, but think I know what you both mean. I was thinking that I just want him to be happy - even if one day that means that he won't be with me.