When dumpers go immediately to new person..........

[whattheheck]

what are the problems, if any when the dumper immediately goes to a new person?

 

I know it's kind of a rebound, but maybe not. When a person does that, does it usually work out in the long run? Or is it usually the same result as a rebound?

[wanderer]

my ex went right to other guys, and i can tell you know of them were long term.

[SteveNaive]

Hmm...what a complex question to ask. I guess one could write long arguments back and forth whether those things work out or don't... I would say: IT DEPENDS.

 

On the circumstances of the break up, on the personalities involved, on the feelings between people... Actually there is so many things involved, it really is impossible to tell. And just btw what does "in the long run" mean?! That's pretty relative according to one's standards, isn't it? It could mean months, years, forever?!

 

So I don't think there is a "true" answer to your question. What I can say though is this: If it really is a rebound, i.e. just being with someone for the heck of it, it will quite possibly not last long. If someone leaves their partner for someone else, however, it might last a bit longer... But even if it doesn't last it does not necessarily mean they'll be coming back to you. (What patience it took to learn that lesson...)

 

My two cents...

[Scout]

If a dumper goes right to a new person, I tend to think they might have had an attraction to the person and a desire to date them before the break-up, and so I don't consider this a rebound. When a dumpee immediately goes to a new person, the potential for this being a rebound might be greater. Not all rebounds end, either, some become a lasting relationship (in which case, the dumpee really lucked out!)

[insomnia]

All my ex's married the next guy they got with. And as far as I know they are all still married.

 

I'm starting to believe I'm a matchmaking service..."If you can't find a good man, date me for about 4 months and break-up. I garauntee your next man will be your husband".

 

However my latest ex is now with a woman, so I don't know what's going to happen with that one.

[era]

"However my latest ex is now with a woman, so I don't know what's going to happen with that one."

 

I don't think I've truly laughed at all, since my ex dumped me 3 months ago.

 

So thankyou!

 

Anyways, back to seriousness - I'm now convinced that men use me as 'practice' till the 'real one' comes along...I dunno, that's the way it seems.

[Kittengirl]

My Ex dumped me for a co-worker and things had been brewing for a while before he had the guts to confess and finish with me. However I met a marvelous guy after a month or so and after being friends we got together and now live together 6 months later.He proposed and I accepted after 3months, I still think about the Ex but not because I want us to be together but because he was a huge part of my life for 5years. I am happy and this is definitely not a rebound.Just for the record tho the Ex tried to get me back after 2 months with the other person because he realised she wasn't right for him and I apparently was. I turned him down so he went straight back to her and as far as I know he is still seeing her so I guess the one on the rebound is him!

[herewegoagain]

Kittengirl - i'm glad to hear that you found someone and your ex tried to come back to you. That is awesome!!! Good for you. And like the bottom of your post says - "What goes around, comes around"