I can't cope anymore

[Randomkis]

I live my now pathetic life,

 

Home 24/7 except when I go with my partner to pick up/drop off the step children whom I love more than anything in this world or go to the docs..

 

I used to be a publandlady loud fun energetic and who most people used to come to!

My life has drastically changed I'm now a nobody who struggles for attention from those I love, after going through three years of the general traumas of being a step mum ( you can see them, you can't, your this your that) my partner has drinking problems. I had to have an abortion, my partner was accused of something so malicious which by police intervention was proved untrue although this has taken a huge toll on our lives, constant problems with the ex, nan and two close friends died in the same week, second nan died of cancer of whom my mother and step father had to care for leaving me in full charge of a failing business. Business finally failed leaving me with no job before Xmas. I was but on antidepressants 20mg then after losing job 40mg. I recently blackd out and fell the entire stairs in front of my step daughters falling landing on the shelving and radiator at the bottom leaving myself unconscious. Since then I can't bear to alive t seems I ant do anything right and my art near has also now shown massive signs of depression,

 

I don't know what o do I feel everyone would be better off if I wasn't here, I've changed sooo much to someone I don't even know.

[Randomkis]

Forgot to mention my aunty has breast cancer and my partners aunty also has an uncurable cancer, there's prob more ther things I've forgotoon but who cares

[Gracelove]

Hey There!

 

I don't know how things work in England, but in the U.S. if you go to the hospital and express your will to end it, they'll commit you.

 

If you feel that you can't take it anymore, I suggest you do this. You've had to deal with so many things, and you're obviously overwhelmed. You need a break. In the U.S. they hold you for 72 hours, so maybe they do the same in England.

 

Killing yourself should not be an option for you. You should do everything in your power to survive. Seek help, whatever the cost. Save yourself because you're not thinking rationally.

[drmcsugar]

This saddens me. But coming from a person who has been suicidal since 7 years old and has been hospitalized twice for it and sometimes still cuts myself, I will tell you the honest truth - There's no "better" out there. Do I still want to die? Hell yes, I do. But do I want to lately? No, because I've met people I love long enough and they help me forget my pain, to the point that I don't remember what cutting myself feels like. Although they all leave me now, I can say that I won't go back to the sleeping pills or razor again. Watch this, it helped me through the nights where I want to just jumped to the train track and end things.

 

 

 

You may think that what you're going through is larger than life, but life doesn't get realer than this. Just be appreciative that you're still breathing.