How much does a good personality compensate for looks?

[Double J]

This is mainly for the guys, but feel free to answer too ladies. Pretend that you meet this girl. You discover that her personality is wonderful - she's as close to perfect as you can think of. You're into the same hobbies, you have the same values and belief systems, etc. But the bad thing is that in the looks department, she's not exactly what you're looking for. She might not have a very pretty face, her body might be to robust, whatever.

 

So my question is this - How much does a good personality compensate for looks? Yes, there has to be some degree of physical attraction, but it's also common for a person to become more attractive to someone else after they've exposed their personality. And remember, the less attractive a person is, the more likely that person is ultimately caring and down-to-earth.

 

I've been with a few girls so far in my life, and I've noticed that what wins me over is the personality. The ones who were more attractive might have ignited my hormones but not my emotions the same way. Also keep in mind when answering that the older we get, the more looks fade.

[drahcir]

"Yes, there has to be some degree of physical attraction"

 

I strongly disagree with this statement. Many of the girls I have fallen for have been unattractive. Personality doesn't 'make up' for looks; its all that matters. I don't care if the girl i date is ugly. If I love her (and she ADORES ME!!!!!) who cares?? I don't.

[Mermaid]

For most people, physical appearance is the first thing they notice about others--and this is simply because our bodies are what we're packaged in; we present ourselves to the world this way, and that's just a fact.

 

thereforeeee, sometimes we may initially be drawn more to a "package" we find physically attractive--but if we're mature, we understand that physical appearance does not necessarily reflect one's inner-self.

 

Besides, as we grow older we realize that, while attractiveness does not influence personality, personality definitely influences attractiveness. I've met many allegedly beautiful people whose personalities were so terrible that, after awhile, they began to look ugly to my eyes; conversely, I've also met people who were quite physically unattractive at first, but whom ultimately became very beautiful to me because they were so lovely inside.

 

Besides, when you love someone--truly love them--they become the most beautiful person you've ever seen. Yes, physical attraction is very important to a romantic relationship--but physical attraction can grow out of love.

 

 

[Prezkot]

Yeah, having someone interested in me is my biggest turn-on, because... well... it doesn't happen every day... or week... or month... heck let's just say year. And I too notice the girls I get closest to, might be looked down upon by the superficial guy. If they go through the trouble of showing interest in me, I'll find happiness in their physical being. That's not to say I ever got close to them...

 

HOWEVER, I'm working on not being superficial to heavy girls. I still kinda overlook them, heightened due to the fact my mother is pretty overweight and I don't want to deal with that kind of baggage of weight issues right out the bat (when we're 40, ok, that's life). But that's not to say I don't like some meat on the bones... skinny "heroin addict thin" girls are scary to me...

 

Blah Blah Blah...

[Double J]

I want to add something else on this post. I think that when we're dealing with physical appearance, sometimes it's not so much how they look that matters, but how they take care of themselves. For example, I probably wouldn't find myself with a girl who is 40 pounds overweight. Why? Because I lost 20 pounds this summer, and if I am at least putting in the effort to make myself look as appealing as possible, why can't the girl do it too? If you don't care about your appearance, why should someone else care? You gotta make the best of what you have.

[ShySoul]

Personality counts for everything. You said it yourself, "it's also common for a person to become more attractive to someone else after they've exposed their personality." I've always find that the more I like who the girl is on the inside, the more beautiful she begins to look on the outside. I try not to judge someone on their looks. I don't have certain physical features I look for in a women, I look for who she is as a person and then begin to note her physical aspects.

[Goddess4ever]

Double J....I really don't think that overweight ppl should fall into the category of "not taking care of one's self". I know a lot of people that are stick thin that eat crap all day long; chocolate, chips, fast food etc. On the other hand I know a lot of "overweight" ppl that eat foods good for you. So....not all overweight ppl eat bon bon's and sit on the couch all day watching Maury. Also...men have different body types than women...and lose weight differently.

[drahcir]

Godddses4ever is right

 

i know a guy and his is skinny but for a year almost every morning his breakfast was 3 chocolate bars and a can of coke. I am lying...skinny but awful eating habits!!!

[Alabama]

In all honesty...even though I'm a sucker for good looks...it is the girls personality that I am truly attracted too...in the end, I don't really care if they have good looks or not...

[Spirits Away]

This could be done in calculation for me. I need someone who is 8/10. But lets say there is a 6/10 'looking' girl who have a good smile on their face (+.5), treats you with respect and have the same interests you do (1.0+) and are nice (1.0+). They'll, in my mind, be an 8/10. And i'll consider them as "potential". But lets say a pretty girl (9/10 on looks) who happens to have different interest from me (-1), bad/no personality (-2), and treat you like dirt (-2), they'll become a 4/10 to me and they'll fail

[Kaylum]

I'm of the belief that while looks don't matter nearly as much as personality, one should definitley make the most out of what he/she has. It's just a matter of self-respect. I'm going to be 40 next year and I decided I'm not going to let myself go like so many women do at that age. I'm in better shape now than I ever was. Not that it seems to be making men any more interested in me, but at least I can be proud of myself for the effort.

[S1asher6]

If looks don't matter, then why are there so many people battered by their unattractive physical bearing? Take a walk in the park. Go shopping at the mall. Pay attention to the people around you. Reality says otherwise.

Just look around and you'll see people of certain height and body type with someone of similiar qualities. For the very least, you'll never see an elegant, classy looking guy in a suit with a thuggy girl in sneakers and baggy pants, wearing a cap backwards.

Looks matters. It's not the most important and a good personality certainly plays a bigger part in a relationship. It's what maintains a relationship. But the thing here is not how attractive or unattractive a person is. The thing is what's acceptable. And that applies differently to different people.

It's too easy to say that a personality is all that matters. It rings too nicely. But quite frankly, that's a load. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. But a person's personality is not all that matters. Personality just matters more than a person's look and everybody wants someone that meets their standard in that matter. Again, I'm sorry, but saying personality is all that matters defies reality. Personality matters as well as looks. Each and everybody just have a different balance of the two.

Call me shallow... call me whatever you want. I just can't help it. That's the reality I see every single time a couple crosses my path.

[drahcir]

good for you Kaylum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

"I'm going to be 40 next year and I decided I'm not going to let myself go like so many women do at that age. I'm in better shape now than I ever was. Not that it seems to be making men any more interested in me, but at least I can be proud of myself "

[ayekasong]

S1asher6, I don't think you're shallow, I think physical apperance does matter - to a degree. Like others have said on this thread, physical apperance is often what attracts you to a certain person. But it will only go so far.

 

You may find a parnter who is flawless in looks, but if ther person has no personality, or has one that really grates your nerves, chances are you won't stay with them regardless of how much they look like a supermodel. For me, a hot guy who is a snob is a real turn off, while a mediocre guy (even an "unattractive guy") who has a great sense of humor and treats people with courtesy is a huge turn on. I do admit that I have had crushes on less attractive men in the past, primarily because they can crack me up.

 

However, a less attractive guy who whines about his looks and how he can't get a girlfriend looks a lot less attractive to me. I think personality definitely has an effect on how a person looks.