newyearforluv Posted February 3, 2012 Author Share Posted February 3, 2012 Thanks for responding. I haven't heard from him today and I am feeling better. I am sure I won't hear from him this weekend because he will be with his girlfriend, I feel sorry for her actually. Can you imagine, he has sex with her and the next day he texts me and says he is thinking about me. That is disgusting. Anyway, when I keep reminding myself of how he is, the more distance I get from him I feel better. I would never get back with him because I can see the person that he is now. I would never trust him. Not only that, if he was my "friend" why did he not tell me Happy Birtday last week??? Because he is a pig and doesn't really care. The more distance I get, the more clear things become. He is not worth it. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Ha! Sorry, this post made me laugh. If you have no advice, why bother posting? No advice Link to comment
sandrawg Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Oh gawd, I went thru this a few yrs back. I was off and on w a guy who had a drinking problem. I broke up with him for his drug use..he IMMEDIATELY rushed to his ex. I mean, IMMEDIATELY. They were together for a month and a half, then he decided he missed me. Started texting me while he was STILL bonking her. I did not know he was back with her but kinda guessed-always trust your intuition. He desperately wanted to get back with me. I made him promise, no drugs, and get rid of his ex. He didn't. He kept her as a backup. The guy was a total scumbag and I wish I hadn't stayed w him for a couple more yrs after that mess. He's giving you signs what a scumbag he is--take the red flags and go NC, like..FOREVER. You'll be happier for it. Thanks for responding. I haven't heard from him today and I am feeling better. I am sure I won't hear from him this weekend because he will be with his girlfriend, I feel sorry for her actually. Can you imagine, he has sex with her and the next day he texts me and says he is thinking about me. That is disgusting. Anyway, when I keep reminding myself of how he is, the more distance I get from him I feel better. I would never get back with him because I can see the person that he is now. I would never trust him. Not only that, if he was my "friend" why did he not tell me Happy Birtday last week??? Because he is a pig and doesn't really care. The more distance I get, the more clear things become. He is not worth it. Link to comment
starrrr Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 He is what he is... We can't judge, we have our faults too. Forgive him for his mistakes and just do you!! Don't worry about how his new gf, etc, thats not your business, thats theirs, and you have plenty of yours i am sure, focus now on the things you want to be doing. Look forward! Link to comment
No1 Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 As long as you know why he is doing what he is doing, then you know what you can do. It doesnt matter if he is in his 30s or not, he has probably been that way for a while. He is a needy guy, he needs to have constant interaction with people, sounds like he cant be alone and if he is, he would feel lonely, so he contacts anyone he can, including you. Will he ever settle down? Yeah, probably, but for now, he is just being a 'player' casting his hooks all over the place seeing who bites..Trolling for ladies is what he is doing. I dont think he was ever 100% yours.. If you are happy with this guy, then spend your energy on him. Its easier to deal with things once you know what exactly you are dealing with. Link to comment
newyearforluv Posted February 4, 2012 Author Share Posted February 4, 2012 As long as you know why he is doing what he is doing, then you know what you can do. It doesnt matter if he is in his 30s or not, he has probably been that way for a while. He is a needy guy, he needs to have constant interaction with people, sounds like he cant be alone and if he is, he would feel lonely, so he contacts anyone he can, including you. Will he ever settle down? Yeah, probably, but for now, he is just being a 'player' casting his hooks all over the place seeing who bites..Trolling for ladies is what he is doing. I dont think he was ever 100% yours.. If you are happy with this guy, then spend your energy on him. Its easier to deal with things once you know what exactly you are dealing with. Nope I am done. I had a really nice time last night with the guy I am dating. The more time I spend with him the more I realize my ex is a douche Thanks for your help. Link to comment
newyearforluv Posted February 6, 2012 Author Share Posted February 6, 2012 I just wanted to say, No1 you were exactly right. As soon as I told him I was happy with the guy I am seeing and that I really like him my ex disappeared. Have not heard a peep from him in 4 days. He knows I like this other guy so he has no use for me anymore. If he isn't the one getting my attention then he can't be bothered being my "friend". What a joke. This forum has helped me so much. It is amazing what a little perspective can do and some advice from other people that are unbiased. I know I am going to get over it and be ok. Link to comment
No1 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Dont cry for your X, he is going to troll around looking for other girls who can give him the Ego boosting he needs, but I dont think he is gone for good. He will contact you in the next few weeks. (what I think) But I hope I am wrong and he leaves you be. He just needed to hear that you were happy and until you said it and you made him believe it, he thought he still had a shot with you and that was the fun game for him. Im happy for you that you took the power back. Im sure it feels wonderful and a little bitter sweet, but mostly sweet. Link to comment
newyearforluv Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Dont cry for your X, he is going to troll around looking for other girls who can give him the Ego boosting he needs, but I dont think he is gone for good. He will contact you in the next few weeks. (what I think) But I hope I am wrong and he leaves you be. He just needed to hear that you were happy and until you said it and you made him believe it, he thought he still had a shot with you and that was the fun game for him. Im happy for you that you took the power back. Im sure it feels wonderful and a little bitter sweet, but mostly sweet. Well I have to say that you were right again lol. I heard from him less than a week later. He text me some random question and then started fishing again. I have to laugh. Then again this morning asking me if I had a good weekend. I don't even care anymore. Link to comment
calisurfer Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 I had a very similar experience with my ex, and from reading other peeps stories on here it sounds like he's looking for an ego boost and trying to keep you on the back burner. It's horrible selfish behavior on his part, but you're in control. Like someone said block him from everything. One thing I know for sure is that if someone wants to be with you, truly wants you, he or she will make their intentions known and will not beat around the bush or play games with your heart and head. Go NC, you deserve more than breadcrumbs from this guy. Link to comment
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