Slanted Forehead :(

[Dougie_D]

Why did your family bring up plastic surgery? Or where they responding to you?

 

No, I never brought the idea up. It was pretty random. They thought it would "benefit me" if I ever wanted to change my looks. They bugged me about just "check it out with a doctor just to see what they can do." I only went to please my parents.

 

They did the whole "I think it would benefit" thing a lot. They tried to "trick" me into going to a therapist. I had personal trainer in highschool, but I never asked for help or was even concerned about it.

 

Dougie, who are the women next to you? They seem just fine with you.

 

Total strangers. I don't have a clue. What does being "fine with you" mean? Does that mean that they would find me attractive? I just want to look attractive to women. I feel like girls only want to hook up with more attractive guy and not the cool,nicer,sweet guy.

 

Dougie, from what you've posted about your family, I don't think they do a lot for you that isn't hurtful. You need to learn to disregard their opinion.

 

Haha! Don't get me wrong, I do disregard their opinion. I could possibly stick up for myself and tell them to "screw off"...but I just nod my head. Also, I know this is messed up but because my parents have helped me financially for everything.. I use to feel bad about what they said to me and really get to me...but now, I feel like it doesn't matter. They can pick on me all they want as long as am getting financial help.

[Snowy]

How are you still getting financial help from your parents? You're 30.

 

Do you have a decent job? (Don't mind me for asking)

[Dougie_D]

I guess you missed out on another thread. I had my first JOB at 24 years old (Sam's Club)..but quit my job 2 years ago to move out in LA and learn more about the music business. I technically have NO STABLE job right now. I work with artists/bands where I get a small percentage of their income (which is practically nothing) or it's a fee based month to month. Majority of managers hat are dealing with unsigned artists/indie label artist probably have a part time job for extra income.

 

I'm actively looking for a job though. Problem though, I don't have much experience.

[agent1607307371]

Haha! Don't get me wrong, I do disregard their opinion. I could possibly stick up for myself and tell them to "screw off"...but I just nod my head. Also, I know this is messed up but because my parents have helped me financially for everything.. I use to feel bad about what they said to me and really get to me...but now, I feel like it doesn't matter. They can pick on me all they want as long as am getting financial help.

 

Tbh, if it didn't bother you, you wouldn't even think of it. I really think you'd be happier if you were supporting yourself instead of living on handouts.

[Snowy]

I guess you missed out on another thread. I had my first JOB at 24 years old (Sam's Club)..but quit my job 2 years ago to move out in LA and learn more about the music business. I technically have NO STABLE job right now. I work with artists/bands where I get a small percentage of their income (which is practically nothing) or it's a fee based month to month. Majority of managers hat are dealing with unsigned artists/indie label artist probably have a part time job for extra income.

 

I'm actively looking for a job though. Problem though, I don't have much experience.

 

Well that's another problem.

 

Most women would want their boyfriend to be at least financially independent i.e. a stable job with a steady income.

 

Good to see you're actively looking.

[abitbroken]

I think that if someone kept harping that they hated their nose or chin or whatever and they were a broken record, I might tell them "hey, if it bothers you that much, change it" to get them to stop the broken record even if I thought they looked fine.

 

Anyway, I agree with Snowy - if a guy is 30 and is acting like he doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up - i'm out of there. Its one thing if he was laid off, etc, but most people in the artistic field have a day job until what they are doing pans out or they get discovered if they are being practical or they find a job that is related to the field that allows them to use their talents - ie an oil painter gets a job illustrating textbooks or teaching art but does their "true art" on the side and travels to shows, or the job is flexible so that the can pursue what they really want to do. To do what you want to do, you really have to have the connections to make a full time income. To women, while they appreciate someone who has not made it yet, they would hope that you would have had more of a plan.

 

To me, I don't care if a man has a $15k a year job if that's his dream job, or if he wants to do something progressive and radical but most people don't just plop themselves somewhere and just expect themselves to take off.

 

As far as the weight - if you are trying to be a promoter/booker - image is also important. When you can, upgrade your wardrobe, etc, - you are supposed to be the business end guy, not dressed like a roadie. You don't have to wear a suit, but having a more polished but slightly progressive image will work in your favor. Also, as far as the weight - working out will make you feel better and more alive.

[Alezia]

Most girls don't necessarily go for the "cool,nicer,sweet guy" for a hook up. Hate to break it to you but it mostly has to do with looks, money, and charm/charismatic. There is quite a distinction between nice/cool, and charming. That's why guys put a lot of effort into going to the gym, putting perfume, shaving, driving a fancy car, and flashing their money when they go to a club. Girls don't want to hook up with the normal guy in a polo shirt.

 

Girls tend to look for the nicer, sweeter guy when they are ready for a relationship.

[Day_Walker]

I cannot recall a girl making comments about a guys forehead being slanted. You are going to have stop projecting your insecurities on women. Just be the person you and going after dates.

[Thorshammer]

I know a guy with something on his face, i think its a huge birthmark, but it looks sort of like burnt skin a bit. The guy gets women... hes a great dancer, amazing personality, and cool and warm guy... plus his confidence is strong, i saw him go right after the first hot single girl in the room.

 

Dont stack the deck against yourself. Learn skills, expand your knowledge and experiences. You are becoming your worst enemy right now, and that does nothing for confidence. And if your friends are going to disrespect you like that, then they arent friends, tell them that joke is getting old and its not funny anymore, put your foot-down, no one wants to hear unless they end up in 6th grade again.

[Alezia]

Yeah, I agree with the posters. Your forehead would probably look bad if you didn't have the strong jaw and chin, but you do - so I wouldn't worry about it!

[Dougie_D]

but most people in the artistic field have a day job until what they are doing pans out or they get discovered if they are being practical or they find a job that is related to the field that allows them to use their talents - ie an oil painter gets a job illustrating textbooks or teaching art but does their "true art" on the side and travels to shows, or the job is flexible so that the can pursue what they really want to do. To do what you want to do, you really have to have the connections to make a full time income.

 

I know, but my parents actually suggested the idea that they would PAY ME a similar amount of my last current paycheck. We agreed that would be fine and then I packed up my bags and headed to LA. Now, my parents are telling me they can't afford doing it anymore, so that's why I have to be looking.

 

I would assume everyone else would take an offer like that as well, right?

 

They always kind of gave me that idea. They paid for college because they didn't like the idea of me having a job and trying to pay off financial aid when I got older. I mean yes, I could have gotten a job behind their backs but why go there?

[Alezia]

I would still have gotten a job. Nothing beats financial independence. Even with a husband, I would still not want to be a stay at home mom. I don't mind doing the whole temporary maternity leave for a few years (you can take up to 5 here and keep your job). I would never want to make myself unemployed by staying out of the job market too long, even if I had my entire way paid by a 'rich husband'. You work part-time, you work less, you educate yourself... but you never ever let yourself become unemployable.

[Dougie_D]

I would never want to make myself unemployed by staying out of the job market too long, even if I had my entire way paid by a 'rich husband'. You work part-time, you work less, you educate yourself... but you never ever let yourself become unemployable

 

Well, I'll be honest. I am just now learning the VALUE of money and having JOB experience. Also, I never thought that I could have been unemployable because of how my parents have gone behind my back to get them.

 

I don't see myself as being "unemployable" though. I have had "jobs" before. Let's run down the list.

 

HIGHSCHOOL

 

1. ALL SUMMER long - Freshman - Put Data in a computer at my Dad's office - No pay - never applied for position

2. ALL SUMMER long - Sophomore - Worked at a glove factory (Dad's clients) - No pay - never applied for position

3. ALL SUMMER long - Junior - "Interned" at a Video Production House (Dad's client) - No pay - never applied for position

4. ALL SUMMER long - Senior - "Interned" at a Gospel Recording Studio ( Dad's client) - No pay - never applied for position

 

COLLEGE (1)

 

1. 3 Weeks - 19 years old - Worked at a Movie Theater - Never got a paycheck - applied for position after my parents suggested it.

 

Note: SUMMER after my first year in college ( I was 3 hours away from home) my parents figured that I needed to get a job. I was also going to the local Community College to take a few classes. But because of the work and school hours, plus time to hang out with my hometown friends, my parents RARELY saw me. They suggested that I quit the job so I could have more of a social life. Also, I was living back home so, they could afford to give me occasional spending money.

 

COLLEGE (2) and Post college

 

1. About 4 1/2 years. - 24 to 28 years old. - Worked at Sam's Club - average pay 7 dollars/hour - applied for position after my parents suggested it.

 

Note: For the first couple of months I was actually going to school and living with my parents. I was actually trying to save up but after awhile, I just couldn't handle living with them. We agreed that they would help me out for rent and stuff. After College, I wasn't really feeling the Video Production industry because I still had dreams in doing something for music. I ended up feeling stuck at Sam's Club. At the same time, my parents kept on pushing me to be into management. I didn't like the idea because it didn't even like the idea of being at Sam's Club. After visiting a friend in New York, my parents really felt that I would be less depressed if I was given an OPPORTUNITY.

 

So my parents told me, "Doug, if you absolutely hate your job, we'll support you. We'll give you money to help you wherever you decide to go."

 

I quit my job and left to LA. Got myself in a postion where I learned a lot, got a lot of connections, etc... But the reality is, my parents don't want to help me financially anymore. I'm fine with that...I just have to accept that I may have a * * * * ty job.

 

I just hope I don't lose focus on music when I did the first time I was hired at Sam's. The last time I was in a band was when I started working. I played less guitar. Went to less shows. Did less hanging out with more music like people. Finding a job in music business would be so much better for me though! haha!

[DerekJason]

Dude you are buuuugin. As stated earlier, start runnin daily.

[meoww]

I haven't read through the thread but you can get fat grafting to your forehead.

LOL but if you want to travel to Korea or something they do implants there, although this is usually done for women.

 

Men naturally have a more recessed forehead than women, so consider it a masculine trait. Also, the degree of brow bossing might influence the extent to which your forehead looks slanted. Brow bossing can also be removed surgically.

[shotinthedark]

Slanted forehead sounds like the least of your problems, man. You're still a little kid relying on Daddy to get you through life. Women can obviously sense your lack of independence, confidence.

 

You need a major lifestyle change.... OR, just keep doing what you're doing. Seems to be working well for you, no?

[alertstatusred]

Your forehead looks fine.

 

I agree with other posters, the real problem is your lack of independence and confidence. I am in a similar position as you. I'm an only child and my parents coddled me and paid my way my entire life - I wasn't a spoiled brat and never asked for it, they've just always done things for me automatically. Now I'm 21 and suffering the consequences. I've worked full time and part time jobs but I never had to pay bills, pay tuition, make car payments, etc. Now, while my friends have already found their independence and know how to do these things, I'm struggling to learn to do them on my own without my parents' help. I appreciate what they've given me but I know that I have to break free. I'm determined, though - I now pay my own tuition and I'm looking for apartments. Even though it might be difficult I know I will feel better when I don't have to rely on my folks for everything. I think you will feel a lot better and much more confident, too. I've read some of your other posts. I know you're determined to stay in the music industry, but if you need money, you can't necessarily depend on that field of work. I know people with master's degrees who are flipping burgers because they can't find a job. Do what you have to.

[Dougie_D]

Well, to be fair...I'm not sure if I can land a 50K per year salary with my overall experience. My parents are going to still have help me financially until I reach that point, even with me getting a job. If my parents don't help... even with a JOB ... I won't be able to cover all my bills. That means I'll be out on the STREET/ even with a job! How dumb what that look???

 

My last paycheck for an entire months work was about $975! And I was working about 38 hours!

[Polis]

You work 38 hours a week and take home $975 a month? That is roughly $8.50/hr, assuming a 35% tax rate.

 

Why are you so worried about a relationship now when you could be put on the street at any minute?

 

Do you have a bachelors degree?

[agent1607307371]

Dougie, you share a house, you cut back. You live according to your means. It's a basic life skill.

 

Because of your parents interference, you live how you want to live, but once they remove that support (or hindrance) you are going to have a shock. Have you been saving anything from the money they give you?

[abitbroken]

I know, but my parents actually suggested the idea that they would PAY ME a similar amount of my last current paycheck. We agreed that would be fine and then I packed up my bags and headed to LA. Now, my parents are telling me they can't afford doing it anymore, so that's why I have to be looking.

 

I would assume everyone else would take an offer like that as well, right?

 

They always kind of gave me that idea. They paid for college because they didn't like the idea of me having a job and trying to pay off financial aid when I got older. I mean yes, I could have gotten a job behind their backs but why go there?

 

You DO have experience. It doesn't matter if you were paid or not. If its an internship - its experience. It works for a resume. Do you know any of the artists, sound mixers, musicians that recorded while you interned? If so, maybe they would agree to be a reference.

 

Granted, if your parents are in the industry, some of their advice is valid, but on the other hand, you need to make connections with other people to make it could.

 

The phrase "if i got a job behind their backs" disturbs me.

 

That is great that they were able to fund college, but it should have stopped there.

 

Also, there is a lot of pride feeling that you got somewhere by yourself. Its one thing for a parent to introduce you to someone they know within the industry, as its who you know, but beyond that they are seriously hurting you - or you are hurting yourself. Maybe the offer sounded good, but you robbed yourself of your independence.

 

Also, why is the only option finding something with a 50K salary?? That is few and far between if you don't have a lot of experience or are not super motivated. I would take anything I could get. I would wait tables somewhere so it would be flexible around your music pursuits. Work at a pizza place. Be a night stocker at the grocery store. Or if you have people skills, be a host at a restaurant. Just anything right now to put food on the table, and in the meantime work on your resume and work on your connections to break into what you really want to do. And if you cannot support yourself, have an end date when you will move somewhere less expensive

 

I will say, a guy who is average looking and is independent is much more attractive than the world's handsomest man who is on his parent's dole. To women, that doesn't say "gosh, this man could be my future husband". they say "gosh, if i ended up with him, my job would be to cater to his parents"

[Dougie_D]

Granted, if your parents are in the industry, some of their advice is valid, but on the other hand, you need to make connections with other people to make it could.

 

My parents are not in the industry. I made all my industry connections by myself when I bolted to LA.

 

Dougie, you share a house, you cut back. You live according to your means. It's a basic life skill.

 

Because of your parents interference, you live how you want to live, but once they remove that support (or hindrance) you are going to have a shock. Have you been saving anything from the money they give you?

 

I live in a house right already...and according to a lot of people in LA..my rent is CHEAP. 600 dollars a month. When I was living in TN with people, it was 250...bummer. But at that time...my parents weren't giving that much. Probably an average of 400 dollars a month.

 

I was saving money in TN but once I came to LA, I ended up using about 80% of my monies on that account. It's VERY expensive living in LA.

[abitbroken]

Well..you said you interned at your dad's gospel recording studio and at a video production house - how is that "not in the industry?" I am honestly scratching my head. From my personal experience there are lots of people who work in one genre (besides the actual recording artist) and get jobs working with others with no problem. Lots of the equipment, the recording process is identical, etc.

 

My parents didn't supplement my income "until I found a good job". I made $8k living at home going to school and then my first out of school job i made $15k. My folks didn't supplement me until I made $50k. I applied for other jobs, got more experience and made it on my own. I moved out when I could afford to feed myself by myself. Not when I had enough income to equal dream job. I made $15k when i moved out and made $18-24k in an expensive city and made it work with a roommate, living a bit farther out of the hip area, not really going out to eat ever, taking to train or bus, etc. But I did it. The only "help" my folks gave was letting me keep my car registered there until i got on my feet and decided I was staying for lower car insurance rates and when I was really, really sick they sent me care packages of goodies and a gift certificate to the local grocery store.

 

I think it is good experience to have to figure things out for yourself.

 

$600 is definitely not too bad for rent - could you do $400 by getting a $700-$800 place with a roommate?

 

I find it surprising that you made many connections when you have such a low opinion of yourself or so it seems.

[LizzieD]

Slanted forehead equates to intelligence in my society. From the picture, you look like you have above-average intelligence. Which is a plus point in getting chicks. Because we want intelligent babies.

[agent1607307371]

I live in a house right already...and according to a lot of people in LA..my rent is CHEAP. 600 dollars a month. When I was living in TN with people, it was 250...bummer. But at that time...my parents weren't giving that much. Probably an average of 400 dollars a month.

 

Dougie, that's a lot. Seriously, you need to get out and look after yourself. It's kind of sad that at 30 years old your parents are still paying for you.