adarkplace Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 you can be feeling fine and strong one second and something will just knock you down and leave u spiralling south... few weeks since breakup NIC....go on facebook to check my own stuff and FIRST thing i see is updated profile pic of the ex with a bunch of posts with her and friends saying how good she looks + links to some other stuff, all sounding v v happy.... heart almost burst out of my chest, like palpitations which is RIDICULOUS behaviour.... i didnt look at her profile but just my luck it was in the first thing in the newsfeed Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Hello my friend, What you mention here will happen a lot, the first few months will be a roller coaster, you will have good hours naive even days and then the smallest thing will trigger something in your mind and its back to hell. As you know its been a year for me now and I've bu doubt it will take another for me to be completely over her, what I can promise you though is that you will go through the healing process and its stages and that every time you get back up it will be just slightly linger before you are knocked back down again. Accept this is the way it will be for a while and someone as strong as you will be fine before you know it. Link to comment
camus154 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Why on earth haven't you removed or blocked your ex on FB? Congrats, you're the 1,364,849th person to post about the downfalls of FB after a break up here in enotalone. Link to comment
adarkplace Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 steve thanks a lot...i know..i accept this...just venting i guess. and hope ur slightly better friend camus...cant argue with you...you are right...doing it Link to comment
ewr Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Def block her. Camus is right! At least it wasn't a pic of ylthe ex kissing the guy she cheated on you with like I got to see last week. Link to comment
gal1989 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Hi there! Sorry to hear your going through that, I am too. My ex deleted me off fb a bit after the BU I'm glad he did. I would feel just like you if I saw his posts etc. I saw some girl write something on his wall (for some reason if i go on his profile u can still see what pther ppl have wrote) who he's just met and "just become friends with" on fb and I felt like that, just quite hysterical inside and a bit shaky... I am not gonn look again, as I'm just setting myself up for hurt! No doubt I probably will look again one day but the urge has gone a lot coz i know NOW that I could be potentially really hurting myself again. It's best not to know these things. Like I am fine atm but I know he has gone for a weekend away this week with some people he hasn't known that long and that makes me feel like that too. I hate knowing, it goes ovet and over. It's only when you know/see or hear something about them is when (for me anyway) that feeling of suddenly spiraling down happens. I'm fine now but if I heard how good a weekend he had I'd be like you. Just saying this to say that your not alone And im glad I'm not alone in feeling like this too. One thing I've just realized is that we ASSUME things. And this assumption abouy what theyre feeling/doing/moving on etc makes us hurt more. It really is best not to think about that kind of thing. It's easier said than done i know, but I do try to fight these kinds of thoughts when they arise, after all what will thinking about it do? It won't change what they're doing ot feeling etc. Hope I've helped Link to comment
askltk Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Why on earth haven't you removed or blocked your ex on FB? Congrats, you're the 1,364,849th person to post about the downfalls of FB after a break up here in enotalone. Winner winner, chicken dinner! FB, when it comes to break ups, is possibly the worse thing for any dumpee. Even if you don't look at her page, the temptation is a mere click away. Remove that all together, at the very very least "unsubscribe" to hers and and of her friends you may have. I personally would go cold turkey of FB and de-activate for a while. The real people in your life will be able to get in touch with you by other means, and you won't have a constant update of how the ex's life is. Link to comment
TessaB Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 You are SO right about the second by second thing. It literally is second by second the change of feelings. You may feel normal at one moment and then the pain creeps back up into your stomach, yor get that pit that goes right to your heart. I'm experiencing that at this moment and I hate it. I can't get rid of it...even trying to switch my thoughts, it may succeed in my head but my insides are still telling me something is wrong, and how to you stop that? It's embarrassing to me. It has only been two months, and I feel like I'm taking a lot of the right steps, but making progress at a slug's speed. I'm embarrassed to still feel this way, and I feel selfish and a burden to people around me. They have never said that and I have a great support system, but I know it has to be taking a toll on friends and family. Anyway, I agree with the FB thing. I defriended the ex and deleted all pictures. For the hurt I was feeling when just seeing his picture on the side on the FB, I can't imagine the hurt if I truly see a post or picture of him with someone else... Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Hey tessa, deleting your ex was a very good idea but that was the easy bit. Make sure you don't go searching for him and typing his name in, that's the bit that's the hardest. Don't let curiosity get the better of you, you have taken a big step forward so keep going, and 2 months is not a long time so just hang in there, it does get easier I promise. Good luck. Link to comment
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