What's my next move?

[bakerrac]

So i just started dating a new guy a few weeks ago... We've been on three dates. Everything was going really well and we were texting throughout the day everyday (I know, it's kind of sad that my generation's primary form of communication is now text). I'm not one to necessarily need to communicate daily, but when his texts almost stopped after our third date, it kind of threw me off. And in the name of full disclosure, I'll admit I did sleep with him on that third date, but it felt like an appropriate time. So I backed off of my texting a bit, and sure enough, he contacted me. But when I mentioned I was gonna be down in his area one night, if he wanted to meet up, he never even responded (though he had previously told me he was probably going to stay in). Maybe he fell asleep. In any case, we went from pretty constant communication to very little. Which again, I'm ok with less, but I guess after that third date I've been feeling like I need a little reassurance sex wasn't all he wanted from me. So, I told him I was feeling like he had lost interest in me, what's up? He's a really straight forward guy, no BS, so I felt he'd give me an honest answer. Why not, right? If he's not into me, end it there. But he said No! And that he had just been busy (work and Thanksgiving) and he was really sorry to have let me feel that way. Now he texts me a bunch, but he never mentions hanging out. I mentioned it this past Saturday and he said he was down to hang out and he'd see what his week looks like. Hmmm... Well he still hasn't said anything about hanging out and I'm about at the end of my rope- I'm about to lose interest in him! I know that I should just wait and see if he puts of out effort to suggest another date, but part of me is so sick of this game that I just want to bring it up again. And I know I know, if he REALLY liked me he'd put out the effort, blah blah... But then why put out the effort to text me all the time, but not hang out? I feel like if he really just wanted to string me along for sex he'd be trying to hang out with me at least, and I'd pick up on it pretty quickly if that's really all he wanted when hanging out.

 

Oh and one more thing... I facebook stalked him - we aren't "friends" - (oops! haha) and saw on Thanksgiving he posted a status that said something about not being able to drink "her" off his mind. Who is "her"?!?! (But of course I can't tell him I saw that. And this is why fb stalking is bad... haha) But I doubt that within a few days of our date he could have met a girl so amazing he can't stop thinking about her. Possible but not probable. Maybe he ran into an ex that stirred up old feelings or something? Maybe he's interested in me, but trying to sort through those feelings before hanging out with me again?

 

I'm sorry, I know this is a silly, juvenile situation, but he is a nice guy and I do like him. I'm just really confused by his behavior since things were going so well.... Do I bring up hanging out, yet again? Thoughts??

[Tuffly]

He's probably reeling from a break up. He's not emotionally available for a relationship right, and probably not even a hook up thing. Sounds like he tried to distract himself with you, but it didn't help.

 

It's no reflection on you at all. I'll bet he put up a game face and tried his hardest to act normal when he's just got stuff going on in his head, he's trying to figure it out.

[RedDress]

If he's trying to drink someone off his mind (someone clearly not available to him, otherwise he'd be with them instead of drinking) - it's not a good thing. It's an ex. For sure.

 

I agree with Tuffly. He's probably reeling from a break up. He thinks you are a nice enough girl and isn't maliciously trying to use you (which is why he's not setting off "bad" vibes). He's just... well... there's no room in his head for you because it's full with his ex.

 

I would leave the ball in his court. My prediction is he will let it drop... but... you've already brought it up and he's already made more of an effort (kind of a weak effort). He knows what he needs to do. He knows you are keen. That's not the problem. So bugging him is not the solution. He probably just needs to get over his ex. If he feels the need soon... he knows where you are. But he needs to come to this conclusion himself.

[Ms Darcy]

I agree with the others. He's not over an ex and he's probably lost interest after sex.