Desperately needing advice. Husband slept with my sister before we were dating.

[OptomisticGirl]

I haven not read through the pages and pages so this is my advice off the OP-

 

This happened before you were together. This happened even before you were even THINKING of being together. Should he have told you then and there? Sure. But he did tell you before marrying you and you married him. He did not cheat on you. The images thing is something that happens to people who take cheaters back - they take them back and things are okay and then BAM! - images of their SO being with that person start creeping up every single day. you HAVE to find a way to stop this or it will ruin your marriage. If you haven't discussed this with your husband DISCUSS it. No need to bottle emotions up. If discussing it with him doesn't help seek separate and marriage counseling.

[CountryHGirl]

My ex slept with my cousin before he and i got together.

 

I know its not the same, but she was still family and it creeped me out.

Does it make you question your marriage because of this?? Thats where i would be concerned. If not, just try to realize that your husband chose you. Not your sister. I know how tough it is to get over the images of them sleeping together. Family functions never went well for me because of this problem. TRY to make the decision to just let it go. It wont be easy but it something you have to do at some point.

I sincerely wish you the best is dealing with this.

[Ksush]

My ex slept with my cousin before he and i got together.

 

I know its not the same, but she was still family and it creeped me out.

Does it make you question your marriage because of this?? Thats where i would be concerned. If not, just try to realize that your husband chose you. Not your sister. I know how tough it is to get over the images of them sleeping together. Family functions never went well for me because of this problem. TRY to make the decision to just let it go. It wont be easy but it something you have to do at some point.

I sincerely wish you the best is dealing with this.

 

Thank you for the support and sharing your experience. No, I don't question my marriage or his feelings for me, or anything like that. I know he loves me and is completely devoted to only me. The images, weird feelings, and the family functions have been my issue. I have been looking into therapy and waiting to hear back about what my insurance will pay for and copay info. I think it help me...I hope so.

[trains19]

I know this thread is dated now, but in the off chance you check this at all, how did everything pan out?

 

This is the only thread where something similar happened to me (a guy slept with my twin sister when we were friends, later hooked up with me and wanted to date seriously, but then I found out about the indiscretion and I've now said no for years). I just can't get past it, and reading your story, to hide it from you for 2 years pre and post marriage would have me upset too. It comes off as dishonest and deceiving, and he did not give you the opportunity to accept or decline on initial period

[TwinNumberTwo]

Hi there and I see others have the same problem as me! 30 years ago this guy I was infatuated with slept with my twin too. I used to talk about him and even wrote in my diary about him. He and I reconnected 2.5 years ago and told me they had a one night stand too. He doesn't remember how it transpired but believeS she went after him. My twin and I don’t speak, haven't for 4 years but I really do love this guy. Honestly those feelings creep in and I wondered how you're doing? Think I might try positive thoughts and maybe therspy. I love him and he says he loves me