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On birth control & he's still scared


XxShadowedxX

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So the guy I'm seeing has always told me that I should get on the pill so he wouldn't have to pull out anymore. So I finally go and get them. Had to go to three places and spent my own money for them. Yesterday he tells me he's still nervous about cuming in me. I told him not to be that I been taking them everyday so we're good. Well both times we had sex he pulls out and I asked him if he was still scared and he said yea. I let it go cause I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but I'm a little upset that I went through all that to get them for nothing. I told my friend who took me to get them that he pulled out & she said to get on his case and tell him he better not pull out anymore cause of what we went through to get them but I don't want to force him if he's scared and I don't want to stress it cause then he might think I want him to cum cause I'm trying to get pregnant which is not true. I take them everyday. I just feel like I wasted my time and money for nothing now.

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I notice you refuse to answer the part about the condom. Could you give us clarification that he wears one or not thanks.

 

No he doesn't wear a condom which is why he wanted me to get on the pill

 

What you went thru? You saw a gyno, you a script, you had it filled. All done.....in order for YOU not to get pregnant. Doesn't seem like much.

 

I had to go to 3 different places & it took almost a month to finally get them so yea it was a b**** to get them

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No he doesn't wear a condom which is why he wanted me to get on the pill

 

If you're both responsible enough to be having sex, you're both equally responsible to know the repercussions of not using adequate methods of birth control.

 

Both of you need to take the time to educate yourself on BC before going any further.

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Seriously he has you get on the pill after using the pull out method which by the way is no method at all and just hope that you aren't pregnant now. He needs to be wearing a condom if he is fearful. Double up on the protection never hurt anybody but can save you from not only pregnancy but also the several STDs that are going around.

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I'm not pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and STD test when I got the pills. All negative. I know I shouldn't feel this way and just be happy that he's not taking chances but there's a little part of me that's mad. I'm gonna just let it go & not force him if he's not comfortable with it.

 

I just find it bizarre that you would risk your sexual health for a guy who refuses to wear a condom - and you refuse to make him wear one. There really is no stopping him from seeing other people and in return - transferring an STD onto you, just because you fear loosing this guy. That's just the ulitimate act of desperation to keep a guy around, in my eyes.

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I'm not pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and STD test when I got the pills. All negative. I know I shouldn't feel this way and just be happy that he's not taking chances but there's a little part of me that's mad. I'm gonna just let it go & not force him if he's not comfortable with it.

 

What would his comfort level be if you were to become pregnant?

 

Just some food for thought...

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I just find it bizarre that you would risk your sexual health for a guy who refuses to wear a condom - and you refuse to make him wear one. There really is no stopping him from seeing other people and in return - transferring an STD onto you, just because you fear loosing this guy. That's just the ulitimate act of desperation to keep a guy around, in my eyes.

 

I understand what you're saying and I have thought about what if he's lying to me and seeing other girls behind my back but if I keep thinking like that it would drive me crazy and we had the whole STD talk when we first started sleeping together that if we're gonna do it w/o a condom then we couldn't be with other people. So I have to trust him that he's not just like he's trusting me that I'm not with anyone else but him.

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I understand what you're saying and I have thought about what if he's lying to me and seeing other girls behind my back but if I keep thinking like that it would drive me crazy and we had the whole STD talk when we first started sleeping together that if we're gonna do it w/o a condom then we couldn't be with other people. So I have to trust him that he's not just like he's trusting me that I'm not with anyone else but him.

 

 

That's fine and all, but your totally missing the point. It's not just about the STD, but about getting pregnant. You seem to bend over-backwards for this guy and he does nothing for you. In actual fact he's a selfish lover - who won't wear a condom, risks getting you pregnant, and then has the nerve to say all these things to you, when it's him who won't just wrap it up. Oh and your just letting it be. It's time to start listening to people on these boards - if he won't wear a condom then no love. It's not anything about him seeing other girls - that's not the issue here.

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You and only you are responsible for your sexual health. You can't leave it up to someone else. So having sex with him without a condom is your fault, not his. You need to make him wear one. And if he refuses to RESPECT YOUR HEALTH, why would you be with someonee that callous and uncaring.

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oh I think he'd freak out. Probably would want me to have a abortion which I wouldn't

 

Then why do you find his behaviour to be acceptable? Why put your health and your future in jeopardy for someone who has a mind equal to a turnip?

 

This is taking "playing house" to a new extreme, where you have nothing to gain, and too much to lose.

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I have a feeling that she wont ask him to wear a condom because he will refuse and he wont sleep with her or will leave her. The pull out method is not a method of birth control. Sex is a two sided thing, both parties involved should both be providing ways to prevent getting pregnant and transferring STD'S, for example you on the pill and him use a condom.

 

The problem here is that you probably wont realise how important it is for him to wear a condom until you end up pregnant and that's quite sad. You really need to think about this. If you both are old enough and responsible enough to be having sex then use birth control, BOTH of you.

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