HeartGoesOn Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Good luck Shadow, you're making a wise choice. Link to comment
Marah Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 There are so many red flags going on in this thread; it's quite scary. First, it doesn't seem like either of you are really committed to preventing pregnancy and STDs. As someone said, pulling out is not a birth control method. Very low success rates there. You both went along with risking pregnancy until he coerced you into getting birth control, and you're complaining about the trouble of doing so. This indicates you're not really advocating for yourself in terms of NOT getting pregnant. It's like "eh, I did it so he keeps sleeping with me". The preventing an unwanted child is secondary. Secondly, neither of you seem concerned about STDs. You say you don't have them, as if that closes the case. It might not. Lastly, you say he'd want you to get an abortion, and that you wouldn't. Does he know this??? Does he know he's sleeping with someone who would force him into fatherhood? I believe two people should be in agreement about what they are willing to consider in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. From my perspective, neither of you are right in this scenario. You need to advocate for yourself, and so does he. Tell him explicitly you'd keep any pregnancy (if you haven't told him already), and make condoms a condition for sex, every time. Birth control pills are effective when taken consistently, but nothing is fail safe. There are interactions with antibiotics and the pill, and it has been proposed that overweight may notice less effective protection from the pill. If you conceive on the pill with condoms, then...write the local paper Link to comment
XxShadowedxX Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 He didn't force he to get them. He suggested it and I finally decided I would get on them to keep from getting pregnant and it would be less messy. We talked about STD's when we first started sleeping together. I guess we are putting too much trust into each other on that. We should be alot safer especially since I have no idea what he's doing when he's home. I'm just trusting him. I don't know for sure if he would want me to have a abortion. I just said that cause he told me he didn't want any ''lil mini me's" running around, but we never spoke about what would happen if I did. That is a good point though, I should bring that up. Link to comment
Marah Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Not to say no relationship is trustworthy where the threat of STDs can't be minimal, but it takes a lot of trust and communication. Sex is really such a huge responsibility; it holds far more complicated and difficult consequences than seems fair, honestly. It's just good to look out for yourself, always. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 He didn't force he to get them. He suggested it and I finally decided I would get on them to keep from getting pregnant and it would be less messy. We talked about STD's when we first started sleeping together. I guess we are putting too much trust into each other on that. We should be alot safer especially since I have no idea what he's doing when he's home. I'm just trusting him. I don't know for sure if he would want me to have a abortion. I just said that cause he told me he didn't want any ''lil mini me's" running around, but we never spoke about what would happen if I did. That is a good point though, I should bring that up. Yeah, any one can SAY they are STD free - from the sounds of him I wouldn't go near him til I saw hard core test results. Even then, not ALL STDs show symptons. Did you know men can't be tested for HPV? He very well could have that and passed it on to you - or you passed on to him - because unless a pap smear comes back abnormal, it won't be detected. People go YEARS before any signs/symptons of many STDs start showing. Link to comment
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