vel2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I've taken this quote from another thread and have a query... ''So if your ex dumped you, and now is seeing someone new, shortly after your breakup, i wouldnt worry about it. Chances are it won't work, and if there was ever a case of them coming back to you, this is the one. Relax, and do no contact, don't remain friends with them no matter what. Most of the time they only want you as a friend because you are a backup, a safety net for the new relationship, you must walk away and leave them alone with the new person. Don't give them their cake and let them eat it too. Eventually they will be calling you again, and 9 times out of 10, it will be for a second chance, because the grass on the other side didn't turn out to be so green. Be patient and let them come to you, and if they never do, you are better off anyways. Goodluck'' Do people think the situation is different if the rebound is a very close friend? My ex broke up after 2.5 years about 3 months ago - told me she loved me and hardest decision ever but doesn't see me as the one for marriage. She had just been on holiday with a life long close guy friend she grew up with and I had met (he lives on other side of the world where she grew up). Told me nothing had happened while they were away but it's clear he turned her head, although I'm sure it wasn;t the reason for the BU (her losing attraction for other reasons was). She contacted me every 3 weeks or so for a few months, crying and saying she missed me but knows it's the 'right thing' and wants to be friends, asking if I'm seeing anyone and wanting to meet etc. Within this time frame she went on a trip with this friend again and posted fb photos of them looking very couple like. I'm 99% sure something is going on, although he is physically very unattractive and it shocked me she could be romantically interested!! He has unlimited wealth, his life is one big holiday, and I guess she saw an easier 'more fun' future, although I think she would of ended it regardless of him. What I wonder is would people view the whole common 'rebound' theory we see on these threads differently if the rebound is someone they have always been close to and 'loved as a person' and suddenly realised they actually had romantic feelings for, rather than just someone new they meet after breaking up? I'm not talking about getting them back, but the whole theory that a rebound relationship delays the dumper from dealing with the end of the old relationship, reflecting and healing, and therefore in most scenarios ends quickly. Link to comment
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