scared and alone Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Not even family members that you are close to, but, that you talk to a few times a year or text you every now and then (only when its convenient for them, btw). But during those times, they guilt you or make up stuff, that, is a total lie or they heard that lie and just believe it, and spread it. Either way, it's too much. My one side of my family is beyond ridiculous at this point. Believing stuff they hear from sources that have NOTHING to do with us and blaming it all on my mom. Now, i'm not saying my mom is wonderful or a great mom, because half the time I can't stand my mom but, I know she would not do THIS. So it just drives me nuts that my dads side of the family hears stuff, and blames my mom, when my mom doesn't even TALK to them or the people they hear this stuff from. It's all CRAZY. Should I just avoid them? I can't even go into all the details right now to explain, but believe me, my feelings are justified. I got a text from my aunt who has been ignoring me for months, after harassing me for months. And she asks me if I am going to go there for thanksgiving, and i tell her no, i'm going to my in-laws and she tells me that she heard I was going there. And I asked her from who, because, I told NO ONE I was going there and she heard about it from my grandparents (who I also haven't talk to since this summer) and they heard it from a man who has been stalking my other aunt since the late 70's, and they all claim it came from my mom, which is NOT TRUE. lansdvoiashdfoaisuefou I can't take this ridiculous lying DRAMA anymore. Both my sister and my mom told me to just stop responding to my aunt, because it always only leads to this stupid frustration. It's gotten to the point I don't even know what was actually said or what ANY of them just MADE UP. Family should NOT be like this... It's seriously like high school, but in biological family, as adults... We hear stuff that is made up about us from people we haven't even seen in like 20 years! Link to comment
hausser Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Cut em out of your life. I grew up with a mother with borderline personality disorder who basically hated my guts. Every day living with her was like like living with an emotional nuclear bomb, nothing was off limits when it came to "reprisals" and I've cut her and her * * * * out, best thing I ever did. Link to comment
tyr72 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 As hausser said, just close that door. There is nothing there for you. That isn't family no matter how much genetic material you share. Link to comment
TearsofFate Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Cut them out of your life. Seriously. I've had two therapists tell me "it doesn't matter if they are family or not, you hold no obligation to them if they are hurting you, draining you, and ruining your quality of life." It's THEIR lives that are full of suffering by their own actions, not yours. Do not let them drag you down with them. Cut them out. I had to cut my aunt out of my life, which I was hesitant to do since during the same week I made her a Christmas card and wanted to let her know things were alright, but she always went totally berserk at random and lashed out at me, my mom (who I love SO much!), and everyone else in her life. She chose me as her target (she never liked me, even when I was like 4 years old, because I was quiet) so she'd always say mean and terrible things to me. She chose me as her punching bag, and tormented me with insults and verbal abuse for so long that one day I finally just told her I didn't want her in my life. Since then, I have been a happier, better person. I feel free, I feel happy with myself, and I feel in a way that by ridding myself of her, I am protecting the people I do care about like my mom and brother. That's all that matters, the people we do care about. Sometimes we just need to forget all about the people who hurt us, even if they are family. My uncle is actually a rapist (this was way before I was born this happened) but do I ever talk to him? No. I don't. I keep as far away from him as possible to keep myself safe, and the people who I associate with, safe. If I ever have kids I want them to be safe too. Crazy family members just arn't worth it. You are worth it, don't let them bring you down with their failure to achieve greatness and happiness in life, okay? I hope you get through this and am really hoping you cut them out, no matter how hard seems to be (I know what it's like!) Trust me, after a few months of them gone, you'll be glad you did! Link to comment
RedDress Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Maybe I'm missing something but why do you care who heard what from who? Or if the postman told the priest who told the little boy down the lane, etc, Why the fuss? I mean... even if it WERE true that your mom unknowingly said something to someone who said something to someone... does it matter? The truth is that you are not going. That's the truth. Everyone is on the same page about that. I guess what I am saying is... I don't see the drama (unless you decide to make it a drama). Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 They sound toxic. Cut them out of your life. Really, blood ties don't mean much in terms of "family". You can always make your own family. At the end of the day, if someone is hurting you badly...whether it be your father, mother, sibling, aunt, uncle, or even an ADULT child....cut them out of your life. It's so much better for you. If they wanna cry about it, let them. They can deal with it. Link to comment
sidehop Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I'd cut them out. I'm sorry, if you can't treat your OWN family member like one no matter how much you try there's a breaking point. It's bad that people cannot respect one another but it's another having to deal with such toxic people. Link to comment
scared and alone Posted November 26, 2011 Author Share Posted November 26, 2011 I talked to my mom last night and she told me even more ridiculous stuff about this. ugh. yeah, i need to just stop talking to my aunt. We think SHE is the one starting this stuff. Which, wouldn't surprise me. Thats who she is. Loves to start rumors and drama. It's sad. Link to comment
scared and alone Posted November 26, 2011 Author Share Posted November 26, 2011 Maybe I'm missing something but why do you care who heard what from who? Or if the postman told the priest who told the little boy down the lane, etc, Why the fuss? I mean... even if it WERE true that your mom unknowingly said something to someone who said something to someone... does it matter? The truth is that you are not going. That's the truth. Everyone is on the same page about that. I guess what I am saying is... I don't see the drama (unless you decide to make it a drama). The problem to me is I am just sick of my own FAMILY making up stuff just to start drama. Whether it is about this or any other lie they want me to believe. Lying about their own family members. It is sickening to me. Link to comment
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