mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I have many posts about my ex's here on ENA, i just have one question ... my ex's fiance SON'S bday is coming up ths Sunday, i always cared for him and got along well with him , hes going to be 21 yrs.. i was thinking for texting him HAPPY BIRthday, his father i and have been NC for 4 months, and hes already with someone else , would it be wrong of me to do???? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Have you been in contact w/ the son since your break up four months ago? How long were you part of his life? If not, then no -- you're just looking for a way to get close to your ex, because the son would likely mention it, right? Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Have you been in contact w/ the son since your break up four months ago? How long were you part of his life? If not, then no -- you're just looking for a way to get close to your ex, because the son would likely mention it, right? I have to agree with mhowe. Maybe if he was younger then yes, but at 21 he will understand why you never text him. You should just leave it. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 No offense, but nice try. According to your last thread, you're moving on in a healthy way, therefore, why shoot yourself in the foot? Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 I was part of his life for 5 years, and no i have not spoken to the son since the B/U... but he was very special to me.. a simply happy birthday text is all i will send. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 If I were him, and had not heard from you at all in 4 months, I would think you're were a bit off. And I would laugh about it with my dad. Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Yes i believe his son would tell his father Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 i dont expect him to contact me at all.. i guess it dosent sound like a good idea... but ive had this feeling all day today to go ahead and send a friendly text, what harm can it do to me?? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 i dont expect him to contact me at all.. i guess it dosent sound like a good idea... but ive had this feeling all day today to go ahead and send a friendly text, what harm can it do to me?? If you felt that no harm could come of this, you wouldn't be asking for opinions. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I was part of his life for 5 years, and no i have not spoken to the son since the B/U... but he was very special to me.. a simply happy birthday text is all i will send. I'd let sleeping dogs lie. He's 21, an adult, and if he wants you to remain a part of his life he can contact you. I was part of my exes daughters life for 14 years. She was 22 when we broke up and I told her how much I cared for her and that if she ever needed anything to contact me. She told me how much she loved me and I'd always have a place in her heart. And that was the last time I heard from her. Blood is thicker than water. If you aren't related to him, no matter how much yopu care, best to let it go unless he makes a move to contact you. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 You should just leave it. He can always send you a text to find out how you are aswell. If he has not done that in 4 months, maybe you are not as close to him as you think you are. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 You not only believe he would tell his father, you hope he will. Unfortunately, they will only get a quick laugh at your expense. Because it is a fairly obvious ploy. The harm to you ---- I guess just a dent in your dignity. Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 True.. when i split from his father i splitt from his kids also.... i should not try to do anything that can backfire the improvement i have accomplished by maintaining NC all this time. Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 I would not think they would laugh at me, actually might put a smile on there faces ... they know i was always good to them.... Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 mg22 --- you are trying to insinuate yourself into their mindset today. Why? You are not part of their lives anymore. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Well go on then, send the text. You may think your just doing it to be nice, but if you really dig deep there are underlying factors egging you on to do it. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I would not think they would laugh at me, actually might put a smile on there faces ... they know i was always good to them.... Don't bet the rent on that! Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 DylanNotorious yes i think your right ! i just feel i need to do it ! some crazy reason i cannot explain.. but at this point i dont care for the outcome, i would never wnat his father back... maybe i want his father to feel a little guilty for what he did to me ! i never had the opportunity to express my feelings ... i have kept them inside all these months.. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 You cannot make someone else feel guilty. They either feel it themselves, or not. And how you sending a message to his son will make hime feel guilty is beyond me. Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 I know my ex , and i know it will make him wonder.. Link to comment
ToF Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 At 21 years old, his son is probably smart enough to see right through what you are doing. He will know the real reason behind the text. I think it's selfish to use someone's birthday as an excuse to make someone else feel guilty. Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Wow !!! iam glad i posted this thread... somtimes i think my ex wonders why i never went after him for questions., why didnt want to try to get back with him, he acussed me of cheating on him ( I NEVER DID) so i left it as that and went straight NC till now.. Link to comment
ToF Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 So you're going to send the text? Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 IAM confused !!!! IDONT KN0W WHAT TO DO, looks like i should not , but my heart says yes... i need to be logical.. thats the reason i posted this THREAD, all of you are giving me the best advice ! Link to comment
ToF Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 mg, I think you need to calm down. Take a breath, and realize that this is not a big deal. It's just not. Forget about sending the text. If you want to get to your ex somehow, then talk to him directly. Using his son for any means should be considered off-limits to you, whether you're in a relationship or not. Link to comment
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