How to get family excited about my marriage

[Miss Kitty]

My fiance and I bought our rings today! am so excited! We went in just to look but found the perfect rings and they were on clearance, only one left of each (my rings and his match!) so we bought them today. We're already looking at apartments and have picked out our kids' names (Lily and Jeremy). But my dad is not ready to accept this yet. He doesn't really like my fiance. He thinks he's too hyper (he has ADHD so it's really not his fault) and my mom likes him but says he's not Christian enough (I haven't found the nerve to tell her that I'm an atheist yet and since we are already dealing with a lot of chaos in my family right now, I don't think it's the time to tell her). I am so in love. Is there anyway to make this easier for my family to accept? My brother who hates every guy I date LOVES him! I wish the rest of my family would get on board too.

[OptomisticGirl]

You can't make your family accept him, they have to do that on their own time in their own way. they may never accept it or like him but only tolerate him because he will marry their daughter, this is a fact you have to live with. Many of my family were not ready to accept my husband and mine's quick engagement and I was okay with it - they are entitled to their opinion and all you and he can do is be yourselves. If they accppet him, they accept him.

[Snny]

Is he important to you or to your family? This is somebody you are committing to share your life with. In-laws can be jerks and like everyone else, they are entitled to their own opinion. They can even choose to cut their support from you if they tend to carry a grudge... and if so, are you prepared to handle that? If you're not ready to deal with their crap once you are married... you both are in for a ride.

[hers]

Quick engagements have little support. It comes with the territory

[redrose85]

You just give them time. Congrats! How did it happen?

[Fudgie]

There isn't much you can do aside from giving it time. I would definitely concentrate on your relationship/engagement and making things work with the guy and sort of leave family out of it for now. Let them come around. Unless someone is truly psycho, it's kind of hard to stay mad at people for a very, very long time unless they somehow did this "horrible wrong" against you or someone you love, which you obviously haven't done.

[Miss Kitty]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I guess it's just a time thing. He's a wonderful person and he treats me like a princess so I can't see them never warming up to him, except my dad, but he he doesn't like me either so I really don't care so much. My mom half likes him and half doesn't. I don't think she'll ever come to terms with him not being a Christian, but I think that since beside that she likes him and she does respect him for my sake, it should be ok. If not, I love him enough to take anything my family may throw my way. My grandfather and brother luckily adore him! My other family hasn't met him yet, but will for Christmas. He seems like their type of person so I think they'll get along too.

[Miss Kitty]

You just give them time. Congrats! How did it happen?

 

Thank you. We met at work. When I first met him I actually couldn't stand him, lol. But he kept following me around like a little puppy and a mutual friend of ours kept pushing us to go on a date. I agreed with the plan of being the worst date he's ever had so that he'd never want to go out with me again. The date went so well that I completely forgot my plan. Seven months later, we're madly in love and looking at rings. We actually went into J C Penney to browse and we saw a ring set that I wanted to try on. It had etching on the band like I wanted and gold and silver metal like I wanted and in the same karat. It was originally priced at over a thousand dollars, but it was on clearance. I really liked it but I wasn't sure if I should pick one so soon into looking, but it was the last one and a great deal. Then we decided to look at bands for him while I decided and found a matching one also on clearance. Finding the matching one told me that this was fate. I always wanted matching rings but those sets are often costly. His ring was originally priced at seven hundred dollars. But with the clearance mark-downs and an extra ten percent off for getting and using a JCP credit card, we were able to get all three rings at the lifetime service warranties for only three hundred and forty dollars! I was so amazed that we had the chance to afford such nice rings. I never thought in our budget we could. So when they come in, he's going to hold on to my rings until he's ready to surprise me. I don't know when he's going to ask. I am so excited! I can't wait to see how, when, and where he asks me. I can't wait for my beautiful ring that says I am his forever. : )

[OptomisticGirl]

Engagment is the easy part - wait until you start wedding planning/the marriage.

[Miss Kitty]

Engagment is the easy part - wait until you start wedding planning/the marriage.

 

I've done the wedding planning, you are right, it's total hell! lol. It can be fun, but very stressful too. That one didn't work out though, so I haven't done the marriage thing before, but I have seen my parents marriage. That's why I was scared as hell of marriage for a long time, but I can see that my man is different than my dad and him and I can work things out, unlike my parents. I am being optimistic that I will do better at marriage than they have.