makayla Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 OK I know both sucks. I don't know where I stand, I'm just curious about what you guys think. Would you rather be one of the boys - someone who laughs and jokes with the guys, someone who has a lot of guy friends but never a boyfriend, and someone who talks about girls with the guys. It would suck quite a bit because it would mean that whenever you're slightly interested in a guy, he would just go on talking about other girls with you. On the other hand, Would you rather be the girl that every guy wants to 'score'? They don't really want a relationship with you, they just want to have sex with and will go at lengths to get you in bed. If you have to choose, who would you rather be? (This is going to sound stupid but I'm just kind of jealous at this friend of mine who is very beautiful, and guys are so nice to her and she's the type of sweetie who guys want relationships with her. I on the other hand, is either one of the guys or the girl who a guy wants to make out with and then that's it) Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Well makayla, works both ways. Do you go for the guy who's friends with all the girls (but never gets a girlfriend coz he's too nice) or do you go for the hot guy (as he's so fine, you just got to have him) hmmmmmmmmm? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I'd rather be one of the guys. I absolutely hate it when people try to be friends with me in order to get something they want. I rather have people genuinely wanting to be friends. If you want to get guys interested in you, work on your appearance and mannerisms. Do you wear clothes that flatter your body type? Do you wear your hair in a nice manner? Do you flirt with guys or show them you are interested? Link to comment
Lithp Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I believe I would rather be 'One of the guys' as that seems to be the group I have fit into since childhood and it's worked fine for me thus far. I don't typically have a problem getting the interest of other men but, funnily enough, they tend to be nothing at all like my guy friends. Link to comment
makayla Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Actually I get my fair share of attention from guys but never from the ones I'm interested in. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Actually I get my fair share of attention from guys but never from the ones I'm interested in. Do they all seem to be the same type of guy? Have you given them a chance? If you still don't like them, think about what is it about yourself that attracts them. Link to comment
makayla Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 But what am saying is the attention is usually like, I go to a party, and then these guys try to talk to me and one or two would really flirt and try to get with me. I have nothing against making out in parties, but the ones who approach me are never really the ones I like. Link to comment
Lithp Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 But what am saying is the attention is usually like, I go to a party, and then these guys try to talk to me and one or two would really flirt and try to get with me. I have nothing against making out in parties, but the ones who approach me are never really the ones I like. Like Cognitive said, life is reflective. You attract to you what you are putting out there. If you are only attracting men to you that you don't have any interest in, you will need to do a bit of digging within yourself to find out what it is about you that attracts these types, and then change it. Also, if parties are the only places that you are meeting guys, that may be your first problem. I don't think most people attend parties with the intention of meeting the love of their life - typically any place where alcohol and people are abundant are seen as places to find a hook up. I have done my share of partying and bar hopping and there hasn't been any guy I have met in these places that I would consider actually having something with. Any of my relationships have started randomly - first one I met on a train, second one in a book store and my last one I met while I was walking down the street, and they were all very decent guys. You attract what you put out there! And it will come in most unexpected ways. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 But what am saying is the attention is usually like, I go to a party, and then these guys try to talk to me and one or two would really flirt and try to get with me. I have nothing against making out in parties, but the ones who approach me are never really the ones I like. If they are random strangers you meet at parties, how do you know if you like them or not? Have you ever given your number to one of these types of guys and gone on an actual date with them? Parties are for meeting potential dates, not for sizing them up and deciding if you want to be their girlfriend right then and there. Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Both. Haha... In all honesty one of the boys though...I've always been "one of those boys" so I also had to learn to be girlie girl which I am not by nature. I had to try not to be so tough. So now I have the best of both worlds. I can go hang with the guys- I love to fish, hunt, hike, rapell, go four wheeling, I love the mountains, trucks, fast cars. I love to eat, I love pizza...I don't mind eating a huge juicy steak with the boys I love football...just went to a game actually. YET...I love going to the MALL. I have learned to enjoy makeup and getting my nails done sometimes. I like clothes and I love to go places like Victoria Secret cause they have super cute clothes... So try to learn both but I'm def more a tom boy I've learned that men generally are liking the more girlie girls lately......................but that is OK as I am not to please random men, but myself! So be yourself Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Well, you are what you are... it isn't about this kind of black and white thinking, either a tom boy or a siren... Most people have some of both in their nature and the trick is not envying others but continuing to look for a guy who is attracted to who you are. It will never work out if you try or want someone who just isn't attracted to who you are, so it doesn't matter who attracts them if you are not it. Link to comment
RetroHoney Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 whether one of the boys or a sex object either way they could sexually assault/rape you Link to comment
FathomFear Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Are these friends hot? That would probably dictate which role I'd want, lol. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I'd just rather be one of the boys. More fun. Link to comment
gingerlemon Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Are these the only two options you see? Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I'd definitely be one of the boys. I'm not "girly girl" at all and am very low maintenance. I pride myself on being someone who treats my boyfriend very well, do lots of things for him, sex pretty much whenever he wants, have common interests with him and go to cool places...all while taking no time at all to get ready and not expecting romance/presents. I've always sort of fallen into this role and it's worked quite well for me. I believe that partners should be on the "same page". Why do you want to be seen as a sex object? THat's not healthy. A healthy relationship involves 2 people who are on a similar page and see each other as equals. If he sees you as nothing more than a piece of meat, then you're not equals, the relationship will either not last or it won't be healthy. Being friends with guys really allows you to learn how to connect with them, share common interests, and get comfortable with them. Get to know guys as friends instead of JUST romantic interests. You'll be a lot better with relating to them and dealing with potential problems if you're friends as WELL as lovers. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 whether one of the boys or a sex object either way they could sexually assault/rape you Haha - that was out of left field eh? Link to comment
Alezia Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I don't believe that these categories have to be mutually exclusive in themselves for the physicality part. Depending on my mood I can be a really low maintenance sweats and t-shirt with pony tail type of girl, and other times I like to doll myself up. My biggest problem is I don't have attitude to backup the 'doll' physicality, as I am still a big geek at heart. I'm still very bubbly and have a clumsy giggly personality which can help me carry through that higher maintenance girl attitude. I've realized how socially awkward I was when I came in the club alone yesterday, and I had guys buying me shots. And then guy after guy throwing themselves at me, or trying to grab me while walking by. I'm not single and I was waiting for girl friends. I just froze, and I probably acted like a dumb 15 year old boy. So while I believe you can change your exterior to attract the opposite sex if that's what you want, it's much much harder to fake your attitude. I may look like a sex object at first glance, but I really can't fake the whole conversation through. I just believe there's just so much of both sides of the extreme you can be before you sort of become a 'blended' middle. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I always had close male platonic friends and the majority of men who wanted to date me saw me as a girl next door/Ivory girl type so I never had to choose, nor would I have wanted to. Some of my platonic friends were exes but many weren't or we had gone out a few times. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I think you should work on finding the sweet spot (the balance between the two). It's nice to be able to make friends with both sexes (twice the friends!) and actually be able to talk to guys easily. I feel like it makes relationships easier because you don't see them as a different species. And, being seen as attractive is always a plus. Link to comment
agatha Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I fit well both categories, and I take the best of each. But what really matters in the long run is finding where are you comfortable at, period. Link to comment
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