ashnna Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well I have known this guy since high school and i think he may have feeling for me, the problem is he married and if he is then I don't want to keep my friendship with him. He is my tattoo artest and does wonderful work but if he does want something more then I am going to some one else Can anyone tell me what to look for when I am around him? Oh his wife is never around when we are together so that is what is making me think he wants more and he never talks about her. I havn't been in the dating scene for about 7 years now and I manly just went from high school to getting married and startting a family as did he, so not sure what to look for in flirting at this age. I am 26 right now so I know the whole high school giggly thing is a lot diffrent at this age, so if anyone can help me please do so, I don't want to keep seeing him if he has feelings for me. Link to comment
Lithp Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well, what gives you the impression that he has feelings for you? Also, is he only around you when he is doing your tattoos, or do you guys spend time together alone outside of his workplace? Link to comment
ashnna Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 well we have always had a thing for each other since high school but have never been single at the same time. right now i don't want to hang out with him unless we are doing a tattoo given that he is married and iam not sure how he feels but this last time he worked on my tattoo he didn't really want to charge me for it, yesterday was the last time i saw him and he wants me over monday again. he checks with me first before he makes appointments with anyone else and i some people have told me that he has either canceled on them or are on the waiting list. everytime i have asked him he is free tho. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Going by the very little information, I can't see anywhere at all which would make you think he has feelings for you. Unless you're not telling all and have been flirting with him and leading him on. That said, it doesn't matter if he has feelings or not, you are both married, and if he is interested, then you walk the other way and lose contact. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well that doesn't mean too much, you would have to wait and see if he talks to you inappropriately or touches you in a way that is not professional when he is doing your tattoo. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Just keep it professional. Don't let him not charge you. Or, if he wants to not charge you in hopes of getting laid, too bad for him. That's what he gets for being a sleazeball. Link to comment
ashnna Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 oh no i havn't flirted with him at all, he is the one who keeps wanting me to go over and leaves my tattoos half way done so that i have to go back to him and he will do it all for the same price, also i am not married anymore, my husband passed away a while ago and when he found out i was thinking about dating again our whole friendship changed Link to comment
ashnna Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well that doesn't mean too much, you would have to wait and see if he talks to you inappropriately or touches you in a way that is not professional when he is doing your tattoo. he keeps tring to touch me as much as he can when were not doing the tattoo Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well, if he's wanting to mess with you, then you walk away. Remind him that he is MARRIED and that you will not be back (if of course he indicates interest in you). I don't really see a problem - married people = no go zone. Simple. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 he keeps tring to touch me as much as he can when were not doing the tattoo Then you smack his hands away and tell him to quit. If you allow him to do this, then he'll take it as you are interested in him and he won't stop. The question is: ARE you interested in messing with him? Link to comment
ashnna Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Then you smack his hands away and tell him to quit. If you allow him to do this, then he'll take it as you are interested in him and he won't stop. The question is: ARE you interested in messing with him? at one point he was my intrest but that was years ago, i was hoping we could have a friendship now but seems like it wont work out our kids go to the same school and are in the same class and very good friends so i am not sure how to handle that? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 at one point he was my intrest but that was years ago, i was hoping we could have a friendship now but seems like it wont work out our kids go to the same school and are in the same class and very good friends so i am not sure how to handle that? You handle it as you would if it were a female friend with children in the same class etc. You do NOT cross the line and don't get involved with him in a sexual way. Don't flirt and don't lead him on. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Many people have kids that are good friends with someone else's kids and they are not close friends themselves. They drop their kids off with the other one and say hello, but they are not besties. You can do that. Also, if the attraction is too strong for you, then you need to not spend time with him unless he is doing a tattoo for you, or just flat out don't get anymore tattoos right now. Take a break then look for a new artist. Just like someone who has found a great piano teacher or riding instructor but the relationship is iffy, there will be someone else out there. You are both married and need to focus on your spouses. it doesn't matter if you got married right out of high school or not. Off limits is off limits. Link to comment
ashnna Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Many people have kids that are good friends with someone else's kids and they are not close friends themselves. They drop their kids off with the other one and say hello, but they are not besties. You can do that. Also, if the attraction is too strong for you, then you need to not spend time with him unless he is doing a tattoo for you, or just flat out don't get anymore tattoos right now. Take a break then look for a new artist. Just like someone who has found a great piano teacher or riding instructor but the relationship is iffy, there will be someone else out there. You are both married and need to focus on your spouses. it doesn't matter if you got married right out of high school or not. Off limits is off limits. i am not married, my husband passed away a while back ago and when i told him that i might be ready to date again is when the whole friendship changed. my biggest problem with all this is that it is very hard to find someone new to finsh the tattoo he started because not many people are willing to work on others peoples work Link to comment
Lithp Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 So just see him to get your tattoos done and leave it at that. How is he touching you? I have never had a tattoo so I don't know, but is it necessary for him to have his hand on you and you may be reading into it? Unless he's making comments towards you or placing his hand anywhere other than where it needs to be to get the job done, I wouldn't read anything into it. If he is putting his hand on your waist, back, neck, thigh, etc... then I would remind him that he is married, and he should be acting more professionally. As far as your children being friends, you can be civil towards him without giving him the chance to come onto you, if that's what he's doing. Light, friendly chit chat, or even a quick hello/goodbye is still kind enough without giving him the impression that his behaviour is acceptable. Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Girl if he cheats on his wife, he will cheat on you too. Link to comment
deebabie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 OMG are you my twin?!?! Go look at the post I just posted as well!! I'm also dealing with the same * * * * , a married tattoo artist that I'm crazy about!!!!!!! Jesus, what is WRONG with us?! Lol! Link to comment
deebabie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 The married tattoo artist I'm talking to also claims he likes me and wishes he can be with me, but yet everytime he says lets just be friends, the steamy convos come in again where we explode all our feelings onto each other. but then again he may just be doing this to get some, I don't know. But I don't wanna get involved in this situation but at the same time I never had a guy be so real and open with me about how he feels, almost like he DOESNT play games...or is he doing JUST THAT? Reverse psychology maybe...to get the woman to be crazy about you even more when you tell her you like her and want to be with her but can't do that. i'm also in a confused boat and don't want to go to any other tattoo artist cus he is an amazing artist, but we also click really well and there's def an attraction there. I just don't know what his intentions are. He won't meet up with me for a drink or anything cus he says it's WRONG...but then he continues to talk to me over texts and tells me how much he wants me and wishes we can be together and how I drive him mad... for all I know he can just be playing the good guy card, to win me over and have me in his bed. Who knows? Link to comment
Mesemene Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 He's married - by DEFAULT he's playing games, because he's living a lie if he's coming on to you. Stay at arms length or further, you don't want to end up in a position where you're his sex kitten to satisfy his urges for feeling risky and daring. If he wasn't playing games, he'd be taking steps to leave his wife before unloading his feelings all over you. As it is he's playing the "I have to be honorable" card - when in reality, there's nothing honorable about crossing the line into emotional infidelity just because he hasn't physically cheated yet. If he was determined to avoid being unfaithful - he'd be keeping an emotional distance from you, and suggesting he find you a different artist. Unless you love drama - either find a different artist, or take a break from your inking for a bit. Link to comment
deebabie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 He's married - by DEFAULT he's playing games, because he's living a lie if he's coming on to you. Stay at arms length or further, you don't want to end up in a position where you're his sex kitten to satisfy his urges for feeling risky and daring. If he wasn't playing games, he'd be taking steps to leave his wife before unloading his feelings all over you. As it is he's playing the "I have to be honorable" card - when in reality, there's nothing honorable about crossing the line into emotional infidelity just because he hasn't physically cheated yet. If he was determined to avoid being unfaithful - he'd be keeping an emotional distance from you, and suggesting he find you a different artist. Unless you love drama - either find a different artist, or take a break from your inking for a bit. Ha! I like you...you're very honest and you see right through the situation! Thank you for understanding and helping with such great advice. Link to comment
Mesemene Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 You're welcome - be glad to dodge that bullet. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Quit going in the tattoo shop unless you want an affair with him. Of course he's wanting sex, it's obvious. This is easy to solve by staying away from him. Link to comment
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