How can I stop hating her???

[deadman111]

I'm a little new at this so here it goes. About 6 months ago I was in a relationship with a girl for about a year and we were very much in love. There were very few problems and I was never happier. We made a promise at the beginning that we would always be honest with each other and swore to it.

 

After about a year she finally told me that she had an 18 month old daughter which she cleverly hid from me. I was devistated to say the least and tried to handle the problem. Then after a week or so I got to thinking that if she were able to lie about something as major as that, the God only knows what else shes hiding. I made the decision to leave her and have had much contempt for her and I made that point very clear to her. Right when I think I put the entire situation behind me, she writes me or calls me trying to be my friend and ask for my forgiveness (even though she found another boyfriend a couple days after I left her AND told him everything including her child)

 

I do my best to ignore it but I can't stop hating her deep inside. Maybe I'm being childish about it all but I was devestated to say the least. Any tip on how to forget about the entire thing or a new strategy would be greatly appreciated cause I can't go on like this. Thanks for listening!

[GoDevil]

Deadman, what you need to do is figure out what benefit YOU are getting from your hatred of her. I had a girlfriend who cheated on me 3 times in our first year going out, talk about feeling betrayed. One of the most important steps you can take is to realize that:

1. Your ex-girlfriend is human.

2. Humans make mistakes.

3. She should thereforeeeeeee make mistakes.

 

She didn't do to intentionally hurt you, her hiding it is her own issue and one that she had to deal with constantly before she informed you of it. You did nothing wrong, remember that. A lot of times you can find the root of the hate within yourself; you could even be blaming yourself for it without knowing.... And all that does is make you feel worse. What you need to do is forgive her for making a mistake (something EVERYONE does) and put it past you. It gives you absolutely no benefit to dwell on it. hope this helps!

[redangel]

if u cant forget it, try to look for a new gf, girls make a looot of mistake but i dont think ur ex-gf did that to hurt u, mayeb she did that because she think if u find out about her daughter ur gonna dump her!! girls r like that...

and about her new bf im sure she dont love him as much she loves u that why she told him about her daughter because she dont care if he dump her or no!!!

SHE DONT LOVE Him,

[deadman111]

those are very good points that you guys gave. my only prob is i dont feel i want to forgive her for what she did. never the less, those were both very good points and thats what i need. thanks a lot for your suppot!