i'm facing depressing . . .

[rambohearts]

for many years on and off, i've felt so low. i've come to realise that this is depression and i've finally gone to the doctors about it.

i find that i feel very negative about myself, i dont see how people can like/love me, cos i feel so low about myself. sometimes i get so worked up and i just want to hurt myself but luckily i've not let it get that far. . . i've been given some pills and now i'm scared. the common side effects will be feeling sick, sleepiness or not being able to sleep, theres a lot of possible effects.

i'm scared of people knowing, cos then i'll feel like i'm being stared at.

i dont want anyone at work to know, cos i work with 8 girls and i dont want to be treated differently, i just want to be left alone, they stress me out enough really.

i think i find my worst problems come from my relationship, i'm so jealous that this is usually what i will get worked up about, me being stupid, or not getting enough attention or affection from him . . we have sex once a month IF i'm lucky . . and i have to ask for it . . he has no passion and i feel like i have to ask or make the 1st moves all the time . .

i just dont know what to do, i dont know what will clear up if the pills work, i dont know how to deal with these issues with him if they dont get better, i feel so unloved, i try to ask him what he likes about the relationship and he just has nothing to say . . so how can i believe that hes happy with me, if he can't back it up?

please someone direct me, stuff with him, and someone that knows well about depression, i'm so scared about starting these pills, all i know is that there may be side affects, i'll need to be on them for 6 months, and it might never go away . . .

i just want to rest my mind but i have too many thoughts . . .

x

[Mesemene]

First - most antidepressants don't work instantly - it takes a few days at least before you'll notice any difference.

 

Second - don't rely on medication alone - going to the doctor was an awesome step to take - but they work a lot better if you have a counselor or therapist to help you work through some of the things that trigger the depression, and help you come up with ideas and coping skills.

 

Third - if you start to feel better gradually, don't stop the medication cold turkey. If you want to try to stop taking the medication, make sure you do it under the doc's supervision.

 

I've been on antidepressants, my sister is on them now - her worst side effect is sleepiness, so she takes her daily dose at night. If you do have any really uncomfortable side effects, bear in mind, each person has a different reaction to different medications - odds are your doctor can recommend an alternative if this one doesn't agree with you. Don't let it discourage you from trying!

 

How much of your jealousy do you think is triggered by your lack of self esteem? What do you personally feel might help you feel more confident?

[wheelerdealer]

Congrats on being proactive with the depression!

 

I actually have just started a different antidepressant (tried zoloft twice to no avail) and am being optimistic with this one. I wouldn't look for effects in days though. Typically in best case scenarios you could notice a change in two weeks, on average 4 weeks, and in some cases 6 weeks. I'm no doctor this is coming from every doctor/psychiatrist I've dealt with.

 

In my situation I had to be vocal about the fact that I was experiencing long term depression (dsythymia) but also a lot of anxiety as well... There are antidepressants that also work to relieve anxiety in addition to the symptoms of depression. I wouldn't be too concerned about starting medication. More people than you realize battle depression, or have other skeletons in their closet that you aren't aware of. Don't feel less than someone because of depression. But in your situation, be aware of how tired your medication makes you, sometimes it's better to take certain ones at night, also sometimes it's better to take them with a bit of food.

 

With your relationship situation, it sounds like you should probably focus on you and what you can do right now to build some positive self esteem and practice self love. Not saying break up or anything, just try not to put so much energy into the relationship. Give the medication a chance to work also. Your entire perspective could change in a month or two...

 

Best of luck to you! Also stick with the meds even if you don't see immediate results

[meoww]

yeah I have tried a few antidepressants to dodgy effect-but they really work for some! especially people who catch their depression in early stages, although this doesn't sound like you.

 

To be honest--although I have had some major depressive episodes in my past, I having been recovering just fine without medication. It takes a lot of effort (like you wouldn't believe) and a lot of time. My issue with medication were the side effects: namely debilitating fatigue and increased anxiety. The meds helped me with paranoia though, which is no longer an issue for me. So were it not for those side effects, I would have been a lot more open to continuing with the treatment. Tackle your issues head on, and do some cognitive behavioral therapy. Be aware that you can't trust your own thoughts right now, since they are being distorted by the depression. I hope you can be patient with yourself--it's really important not to expect immediate improvements no matter what therapies you end up pursuing.

[rambohearts]

i'm going to start my first pill today, i was worried i would get the side affect of feeling sick so i wanted to do it when i had no major plans! i've been told to only take half the pill for the 1st 3 days, so i'm guessing that's in case my body finds it strong . .

 

i will be going back to the docs in 2-3 weeks so i can see how i feel then, but yes i think i would definitely benefit from talking to someone professional, i just dont know if it's an easy option, or if i'll end up on a long waiting list . . i will definitely ask.

 

a few people have told me that if you are on the pills, you will be on them for at least 6 months, and even if i started to feel better, i would definitely be wary about coming off them, as i have outbursts really, im not always down, so i need to test it really before i come off . .

 

i'm not sure what makes my jealousy so bad, maybe elements of feeling low about myself, over thinking, like about his ex's, from what my ex's have done to be making me more paranoid, but i dont know how to sort it, only "help" ive had is, basically to stop feeling like that i'm being stupid . . . so yeah lol...

[rambohearts]

I've got Citalopram to take . . i just don't want people at work knowing because they will treat me differently and i dont want to. they already wind me up chatting all day, and i just want to get on with work cos thats what im paid to do, luckily i dont have any issues with concentrating so i can i just get on with everything at work and ignore anything, so last thing i want is them asking me questions and not leaving me alone . .

[rambohearts]

i think it's just the possible side effects that are worrying me.

the doctor said i may feel hungover in the mornings, i dont drink much because i hate being hungover, and i throw up loads rather than headaches, so i just dread feeling sick, as this will cause me having to change my plans or having days off work . . if they make me sleepy, i can just take them in the evening and hopefully that will be sorted, if it stops me from sleeping then that will make my mornings worse! anxiety going up i dont really want . . or fatigue, i'm already lazy enough!!

 

i will see how it goes, only time can tell, hopefully by the end of this week, any side effects will have cleared and i can start benefitting from the meds.